Creature Fortress 2
by Pit-Trap
Summary: The Horseless Headless Horsemann was just having a little fun, nothing more! What he did to the BLUs wasn't that bad! They would return to normal... eventually.
1. Monster

Pit-Trap: I do not own these characters, TF2, etc.

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"I think I'm losing my touch."

"…"

"No, seriously. The other day, I only managed to kill ten of them."

"…"

"I know that's more than half, but still!"

"…"

"I couldn't even catch a Scout!" There was a sob. "I'm losing my touch!"

"…"

"You don't even care, do you?"

The jack-o'-lantern gave no reply.

"I thought so," the Horseless Headless Horsemann sighed. Without a second thought, he brought his giant axe down upon it, splitting it right in half. "I'd feel so much better if that were a head instead of a pumpkin," he said glumly, looking at slimy bits of pumpkin stuck to his axe.

The Horseless Headless Horsemann couldn't stand it. Nearly every time the REDs and BLUs fought here at the manor, he always managed to kill a number of them without a hitch. It was quite fun. Watching them run, screaming in terror, as they tried to outrun him… Oh, it made him giddy just thinking about it! But lately, he noticed something. After killing them day after day, RED or BLU, the mercenaries he enjoyed killing so much seemed to have picked up on something. They seemed to have realized it _was_ possible to escape him. Tricky to do so, but possible. And day after day, they were getting harder and harder for the Horseless Headless Horsemann to kill.

So what if he wasn't very good at jumping, or used no gun to kill with? His speed, size, strength, and endurance was usually enough to kill any one of those mercenaries. Usually. Oh, he was going to have to get back at them. Somehow, some way. Killing them wouldn't be satisfying enough. He knew about the Respawn machine. Hell, he actually liked it because it meant he could kill the same person over and over again, but now… Now, he was going to do something else to those mercenaries. Something else…

A wicked grin suddenly split the Horseless Headless Horsemann's face. "I've got it!" he sang to himself happily. "Off to Teufort I go!"

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"Doc, ya got any meds I could take for a headache?"

The BLU Medic paused his unpacking to turn towards the door. The BLU Sniper stood in the doorway of the infirmary, a deep scowl on his face. "A headache? Ve just got here. How did you get a headache so fast?"

"You try drivin' with a drunk Demoman and screamin' Soldier all the bloody way from Mann Manor to Teufort!" The Sniper spat as he walked over to the doctor.

"Ah," Medic gave a nod. "Understandable." He walked over to some cabinets and pulled out a bottle. "Here, take _zwei_ of zhese and your headache should disappear in no time." He handed two pills to the Sniper.

"Thanks, doc," With a wave, the Sniper headed for the door.

"Oh, vait, Sniper!" Medic called, causing the Sniper to stop in his tracks. "I vill be doing examinations after dinner tonight. Just varning you."

"Feels like ya just checked us," Sniper grumbled, shaking his head. "But whatever ya want, doc." And with that, the Sniper slipped out of the infirmary.

The Medic then continued unloading the box he had been unpacking before the Sniper came in. Shrugging, the Medic decided to unceremoniously dump it all out. Rolls of gauze tumbled out onto the counter. He decided to just cram them all into the nearest cabinet. He then threw the empty box into an increasing pile of boxes. He'd deal with them later. He had better things to do. Medic instead headed out the infirmary in search of his teammates. He didn't need to go far to find them. He was barely out the door when he found one, in fact.

A blue blur suddenly sped past him, shouting, "Too slow, fatty!"

The Medic merely sighed. The Scout.

Seconds later, the BLU Heavy was running (if you could even call it that) after the Scout, angrily yelling, "If tiny Scout does not give back sandvich very soon, he will be in much pain very soon!"

Laughter just greeted his words.

Medic rolled his eyes. "Scout," he called down the hallway. "Give Heavy back his sandvich now, or I vill do your check-up first!"

"_What_?" Came the response. "Again?! But ya jus-" the Scout's complaint was interrupted by the sound of shattering glass. Then his ever-so manly shrieked.

There was a pause. Medic briefly wondered if the Heavy had eaten the Scout in the place of his sandwich.

From down the hall, there came a disgusted groan. "Dude, that's gross!" Scout wailed. "Hey, doc, Heavy's eatin' the sandwich off the ground! Is he gonna get tons-a diseases now?"

"What?" The Heavy rumbled. "It is… How you say these days…? Eight second rule, _da_?"

"Dude, that's sick."

"I vill be doing zhe examinations after dinner. Don't try and skip them, eizer of you! And Scout, clean up zat broken plate!" the Medic called down the hall before turning in the opposite direction.

"What?!"

Ignoring him, Medic continued down the hall. He eventually found his way into the kitchen, where the Pyro was sorting through the fridge. "Pyro," Medic said as he passed. "I vant examinations on everyone before zhe battle tomorrow. After dinner, don't skip it."

"Amrrph?" The Pyro's shoulders sagged a bit as he turned to look at the doctor. "Mph mrrph mmm mrr mph."

"Zat vas veeks ago," Medic replied. "Anyvay, zhey are just examinations to make sure everyone is in good condition for tomorrow. Nozing to vorry about."

"Mrrrph mff mff," Pyro grumbled, turning back to the fridge.

Medic moved on, heading out of the kitchen and down yet another hall. At the end of it, there sat two doors. Medic pushed through them. "Engineer, are you here?" The Engineer's workshop. Located at the back of the BLU's base, it was almost always where you could find the BLU Engineer. It was usually very messy. Organized chaos, the Medic believed is what Engineer called it. The place was filled with metals, tools, or whatever Engineer liked to tinker with in his spare time. Granted, the infirmary could be a bit chaotic too, but…

"What can I do for ya, doc?" The BLU Engineer appeared, rounding a nearby corner.

"I just vanted to tell you I vill be doing examinations after dinner today in preparation for zhe battle tomorrow."

"Again?" Engineer frowned, but nodded. "Ya gotta do what ya gotta do, I suppose. Alright-y then, I'll make sure to stop by." He paused for a second. "Shame we have'ta go back to battle so soon. The Administrator usually gives us a day of recovery after we change locations like this."

"It cannot be helped," The Medic shrugged. "If she vants us to fight, ve fight."

"Yeah…"

"Oh, haf you seen zhe Spy? I need to tell him as well."

"Can't help ya there, doc," Engineer frowned, shaking his head. "The spook's prolly just sneakin' 'round the base or somethin'."

"Ah, I vill just check his room then. It's too hard to find him vhen you need him…" Medic grumbled as he stalked out of the Engineer's workshop.

He soon found himself wandering down the hallway filled with all their rooms. Each door had a plate labeled with a name on it. Not their real names of course, their professional names. Arms crossed, Medic made for the one labeled Spy, but paused next to the Demoman's door. Surely he wouldn't actually be… Without a second thought, Medic threw the Demoman's door open. The room's themselves weren't much to look at, even when the mercenaries managed to spruce them up a bit. There was a private bathroom in each room, a single bed, a desk, and a closet. Of course, the only thing to currently look at in the Demoman's room was the Demoman himself. The BLU was lying on his bed.

Medic stared, unblinking. "Demoman, tell me you are not drunk."

"Uhh… wha…?" The Scot lifted his head to look to see who was at his door. It was harder to do than he thought it would be, but he managed. Now only if he could tell which Medic was the real one out the three he was currently seeing.

"You are," Medic confirmed, taking note of a bottle next to his bed. "Vell, you are awake. Good enough. Examinations are after dinner. Do not miss it. I vill be sure give you somezing for your hangover as vell."

"Uhh…"

"I take it you are sober enough to understand?"

"Uhhh…huh…"

Medic sighed. "Good enough," he said, and promptly slammed the Demoman's door shut. He then continued down the hall, eventually stopping in front of the Spy's door. The Spy was… strict when it came to his privacy, and Medic was alright with that. He never once entered the man's living quarters and he doubted he (let alone anyone else) ever would. He would respect the man's wish for privacy. Except when it came to examinations. Check-ups were vital to make sure the entire team was in peak condition. Knocking on Spy's door, Medic shouted, "Spy, I vill be doing examinations after dinner in preparation for zhe battle tomorrow! No skipping, understood?"

After a small pause there came a barely audible "_oui_" from the other side. Satisfied, Medic turned and left. Now for the fun part: he had to inform the BLU Soldier. The man was probably in whatever unfortunate room he had decided to dub "the war room". The Medic just had to find it. And after that… Medic sighed. This was going to be a long night.

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The BLU base was quiet. After everyone had finished unpacking, a light dinner, examinations, and bit of preparation for the battle tomorrow, the base was finally quiet. Each mercenary had gone to their respected room for the night to get some much needed sleep. Soft snoring sounds filled the darkened base. It was peaceful. Across the way, the RED base mirrored the BLU base. RED mercenaries, usually awake and just as rowdy as the BLUs, were asleep as well. For now, Teufort's battlefield was empty and quiet. Well, except for the Horseless Headless Horsemann being there and all.

"As if it hasn't already taken me forever to get here," he complained to himself. "Now I can't decide which base to go to!" the Horseless Headless Horsemann stood on the bridge that connected the two bases, frantically glancing between the two bases. He could go to both, but that seemed a bit… cliché. "Oh, I know!" He leaned on his axe. "Eenie, meenie, minie, mo, catch a Heavy by the toe! If he hollers let him go, eenie, meanie, minie- BLU Team!" And with his decision made, the Horseless Headless Horsemann skipped into the BLU base.

Getting in wasn't all that hard. He just had to open a door. It was a good thing that the sound of the lock snapping wasn't too loud though. Now the Horseless Headless Horsemann just had to find where all the mercenaries were… Which wasn't too hard either. He found them all asleep, each in their respected rooms. Oh, this would be too easy. He decided to start with the Medic.

"Alright," the Horseless Headless Horsemann whispered to himself as he pulled out an old, weathered book. He flipped through the pages. "Hhmm… What to do, what to do…" He grinned when he stopped on page one-hundred-thirty-six. "Oh, now _this_ is perfect…"

As the night went on, clouds shifted to reveal the moon. The stars twinkled at one another. The sounds of singing crickets filled the air. They were soon accompanied by the sound of the Horseless Headless Horsemann's laughter as he left of the BLU base. As he disappeared back into the night, he failed to notice a camera scanning Teufort's battlefield. Not that it would have mattered if he ever saw it. He still would have done it. And as the sun began to rise that morning, he knew that whatever the cost was it would be worth it.

"AAAAUUGGHH!"

Oh, yes. Well worth it.

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A/N: In my mind, the Horseless Headless Horsemann is a dude that just wants to have fun and enjoy life. And by "fun" I mean tormenting others.

Oh, and any tips about how to write accents better would be greatly appreciated. This is pretty much my first time trying to write them decently, so…


	2. Creepshow

Pit-Trap: I do not own these characters, TF2, etc.

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The woman on the other side of the monitor did not look happy. Not that she usually did, but still. She was currently upset about the fact she was having a video conference with the BLU team (that she herself didn't schedule or call for) _right before a goddamn match. _"You have better got a good reason for calling me, doctor," she said, eyes narrowed.

The monitor for video conferences was located in the base's infirmary, where just about the entire BLU team was at the moment. Out of sight from the monitor, but still scattered about the room. The Medic was currently the only one facing the monitor and talking to the Administrator. "Well, _Frau _Administrator," he chuckled nervously. "I can assure you I vill not be vasting your time."

"Well? Spit it out then," the woman snapped, making a bridge with her fingers.

"Erm, vell," the Medic began. "Vhen I woke up zis morning, I noticed my teammates vere a little… off…"

"Explain."

"Uh, zheir appearances vere quite a bit off, and zhey seemed a bit, erm, confused…?"

"Are you trying to tell me your whole team has come down with some illness?" the Administrator raised an eyebrow.

The BLU let out another dry chuckle. "I vould not call it that," he said. He hesitated, trying to think of what to say next.

"Patience, good doctor," the Administrator snapped again. "I'm losing it."

Suddenly, the monitor's screen flickered. Not a second later, the Medic alone disappeared from the monitor's view. Yet, his talking continued. "Um, _ja_, of course. Vell, you see, vhen-"

"Stop talking," the Administrator suddenly said, causing his babbling to cease. She glared from the monitor's screen. "I seem to be having technical issues. You've completely disappeared from my screen. Give me a moment and I'll call you back."

"Vhat?" The Medic's voice sounded confused. "But everything's fine on my side!"

There was a sudden shift from the BLU's side. "Yer doin' it again, doc," a voice said.

"Again?" A flow of German curses were suddenly spewed about.

From her side of the video conference, the Administrator glared. "What is this?" she demanded.

A second later the BLU Engineer stepped in front of the screen. "You'll have to excuse him, ma'am," the Texan offered a tense smile. "He hasn't been himself this morning. Well, none of us have, really."

"No shit!" an angry Bostonian voice came from behind the monitor.

The Administrator ignored it. "Where did the Medic go then?" she asked.

"Er, well, ma'am, he's actually right here," the Engineer groped the air for a moment before seemingly grabbing onto nothing. "See?"

"Zat's my hand you are holding, Engineer."

"Whoops!" The Engineer immediately let go. "Sorry, doc."

The Administrator held back an angry retort, and instead ground out, "So you've called to show me a Medic using a Spy's cloaking device?"

"No, ma'am. He's, uh, he's not even wearin' one," The Texan explained.

"See?" A German voice seemingly said from no where.

There was a pause.

"We still can't see ya, doc," Engineer said after a moment.

"Ach, _verdammit_," the Medic cursed. "Vell, I cannot control it!"

"Relax," Engineer said. "I'll tell the Administrator instead." The BLU turned towards the screen. "Ya see, ma'ma, what the doc was tryin' to say earlier was that somethin' isn't right with us."

"All of you?" The Administrated asked skeptically.

"Yep," he nodded. "We all jus' kinda woke up this morning to somethin' being off. Like the doc for example-" he motioned with his hand, but it was stopped in mid-air, like it had wacked something.

"_Mein gesicht!_" The Medic's voice cried out.

The Engineer cringed. "Sorry, doc," he apologized again. "Anyways, I went to see the doc this mornin' only to find him like this. All invisible like. Like he was a Spy in hidin' or somethin'. Jus' kept appearin' and disappearin', no matter how much he tried to control it."

There was a pause. The Administrator stared from her side of the screen. The Texan began to fidget under the weight of her gaze after a minute. "And you all," she eventually said. "Expect me to believe this?"

There was another silence from the BLU's side. "Maybe," A Scottish voice piped up. "You'll believe this!" An arm suddenly shot out from no where and wacked the Engineer in the back of his head. His head then fell off.

_Actually_ _fell off his shoulders and tumbled to the ground._

The Administrator simply blinked, easily hiding her surprise. She could see part of the Engineer's spine and multiple muscles from the place where his head should've gone. Not very much blood, though, which was a bit disappointing. She vaguely wondered if he'd respawn.

"Gosh darn it, cyclops!" The Engineer's voice came from the floor, where his head currently resided. "Why in Sam Hell did ya do that?"

"Well, it was clear the lady wasn't goin' ta believe you anytime soon!"

"That didn't mean ya had to go an' knock my head off!" The Texan spat. A headless body stood there, hands groping around the area where a head used to be. "You know how hard it is to get it back on? It ain't just a matter of twistin' like a screw!"

"Well, excuse me, but-"

"Gentlemen," The Administrator interrupted. "If you're all done, I'd like to ask a few questions."

They went silent. Then the Engineer's head suddenly appeared, as if floating- Oh, wait. Like a Spy reappearing, the Medic suddenly flickered back into view, holding the Texan's head. He placed the Engineer's head back onto the body. With a few interesting twists, clicks, and pops, his head appeared to be stuck firmly back in place. "'ppreciate it, doc," the BLU mumbled, hands rubbing at his neck.

"_Ja, ja,_" Medic sighed, crossing his arms. He looked down. "Oh, look. You can see me again..."

"Now that we're all put back together," the Administrator went on. "How about you all answer some questions, hmm? I notice the doctor is indeed not wearing a cloaking device. The Engineer's head just fell off and he didn't even need to respawn. I'd say you two have quite a few problems."

"You'd be right there, ma'am."

"And you said the entire team had some similar problems as well?"

"Similar to a certain extent, _ja_," the Medic answered.

"Well, you've got my attention," She leaned forward in her seat a bit, a strange smile coming to her lips. "Show me the rest of the team."

"Um, pardon?"

"What's wrong with the rest of you mercenaries? I heard the Scout and the Demoman earlier. What are their conditions?"

"Uh, well the Scout seems to have g-"

"This is a video conference, Engineer," the Administrator interrupted once more. "I want to _see_ what's wrong them."

"…" Engineer looked towards the Medic, who just shrugged in return. "Scout, c'mere, son."

"What?" Scout, leaning against a nearby wall, looked slightly panicked. "Uh, no!"

"Scout," Medic frowned. "Need I remind you zhis is your boss you just said no to?"

"I don't-"

"I will tell boss lady of my problem," a thick Russian accented voice suddenly interrupted. They all turned to look at the Heavy.

"Well, since Scout refuses to," Engineer shrugged and stepped away as the Heavy stepped in front of the screen.

"I stretch," was all he said.

"What?"

"I stretch," The Heavy repeated.

"Like a rubber band," Came the Medic's explanation as he stepped next to Heavy. He suddenly grabbed onto the Heavy's forearm and pulled. And pulled and pulled. It just kept… going, even until it was off screen.

"He… can stretch," the Administrator said flatly.

"_Ja_," confirmed the Medic as he let go of Heavy's arm. It snapped back into place.

"Did you fell it, Heavy? Could you feel your bones separating or anything of the sort?"

The Heavy frowned at the Administrator through the screen. "_Nyet_, just felt arm stretching."

"Interesting," the Administrator leaned back in her chair, watching the men through her side of the screen. "Is you entire body… stretch-y?"

The Heavy just nodded before shuffling out of the Administrator's view. The Medic followed suite.

"Very interesting," she grinned. "I still want to see the Scout."

"What?!"

The BLU Engineer tried to reason with him as he stepped in front of the monitor again. "Aw, c'mon, son. It's not as bad as ya think. The doc's worse off than you."

There was a snort. "Easy for you to say," he grumbled. "Doc jus' disappears and shit! I-I got... got…"

"It ain't too bad," Engineer repeated. "The Administrator just wants ta see ya, nothin' else. Now, c'mon, you're makin' your boss wait."

The Scout gave a frustrated sigh. Seconds later he stepped in front of the screen, arms crossed and an unhappy glare on his face.

The Administrator blinked. "Turn around," she ordered.

With an annoyed sigh, Scout did so. He was shirtless. Shirtless due to the fact he had… wings. See-through, insect-like wings stuck out of his back. Two pairs of them.

"…And they're not fake?"

A gloved hand suddenly shot out and grabbed one, giving it a hard yank.

"Ah!" Scout jumped with a yelp. "That fuckin' hurt!"

Before Medic had a chance to reply, the Administrator questioned, "Can you move them?" Though she didn't let it show, she was fascinated.

"Um," Scout bit his lip. A second later, the wings started beating, much like a bee's did. After a few seconds, they stopped and fell limp.

"This keeps getting better and better," she smiled. "Now the Demoman."

After a brief moment, the Demoman appeared on the screen, though he didn't look at her. In fact, he kept his whole head turned from her. "Er, I cannae look at ya, lass," he explained.

"Why not?"

"Scoot," Demoman stopped the Scout before he could shuffle away. "C'mere for a sec."

"Huh?" He turned back to the Scot.

With his one good eye, Demoman started staring intently at Scout.

Medic, suddenly realizing what the Demoman was doing, tried to stop him. "Demoman, do not-"

Before he could finish, though, the Scout's eyes suddenly rolled back and he promptly passed out. There was a loud _thump_ as he hit the floor.

"Demoman!"

"What did you do to him?"

"I cannae look anybody in the eyes fer too long," Demoman explained with a shrug. "If I do, I put 'em ta sleep! Accidently did it to the doc this mornin'. That's how I found out." With an air of indifference, the Scot walked away from the monitor.

"Do not just leave him there, _shweinhund_!" Medic chastised. "Sniper, do me a favor and vake him up."

"And how do ya want me t- aw, wait. Doc, yer not bloody serious," The Sniper sat in a nearby chair, frowning at the Medic.

From her side, the Administrator stared at the empty monitor, waiting.

Seconds later, the Sniper walked up to the screen and sighed. "Suppose I'd have ta do this sooner or later," he grumbled. He then held up his two pointer fingers and pointed them at each other. Suddenly, a spark of electricity flew between them, which eventually evened out into a steady flow of electricity flowing between his two fingers. Sniper pulled them apart after a minute, cutting the electricity off. "I think I've shocked myself more times today alone than I have my entire bloody life," he shook his head. He then bent over Scout and brought a finger to the runner's arm.

A small shock caused Scout to jump awake with a gasp. "The hell-?" he sat up, blinking. "What happened?"

"Nothin' ta worry about, mate," Sniper straightened up, offering a hand to pull the Scout off the ground. They moved away from the monitor.

The Administrator thought for a moment. "Where's your Soldier? I'm surprised I haven't seen him yet."

The Engineer faced the monitor once more, a rather odd look on his face. "Oh, he's here, ma'am. Can't talk much at the moment though."

"Why is that?"

"Uh, somethin's not right with his jaw at the moment," Engineer frowned. "He's mostly had problems with his arms, but as soon as we started this video conference, his jaw went all weird."

"Is that his… issue?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"I want to see," the Administrator said expectantly.

The Engineer's frown deepened. "I'll warn ya now, ma'am, it ain't pretty."

"Does it look like I care?"

Shaking his head, Engineer called, "Sol! C'mere, the Administrator wants ta see ya!"

There was a collective silence as the BLU Soldier approached the monitor. Mostly because everyone was waiting to see the Administrator's reaction.

"…" The Administrator's eye twitched. "His jaw," she said. "What in God's name is wrong with it?"

Engineer walked over to the Soldier, explaining, "We're not too sure either, ma'am. Like I said, earlier this mornin' it was his arms he had problems with. Doc couldn't even figure it out."

The Soldier was currently not a pretty sight. It was actually kind of disturbing to look at him. His jaw bone was hanging out of his mouth. It wasn't broken. It was like the bone had just slipped through the skin, like no skin was there in the first place. It was eerie. It was also a good thing the bone was still connected to the rest of his cranium. Soldier's mouth abruptly began to move, as if trying to talk, but all that came out was a gurgling sound and some spit.

"Sol, stop tryin' to talk," Engineer groaned. "Your jaw bone's not there, so it ain't too possible at the moment. Why don't you show the Administrator the arm thing instead?"

Soldier suddenly held up his arm, rolling the sleeve up. There came an odd crackling sound from his arms after a few seconds. Then, like skin wasn't even tangible, his ulna and radius suddenly sprang out from his arm, sticking through skin. However, it was still connected at the elbow and didn't pop out completely. And despite no bones in a certain section of his arm, his arm did not flop about. There weren't even holes from where the bone had come out from.

The Administrator somehow managed to keep her face straight. "Can you move the rest of your arm?" she asked.

A shake of the head.

"Disgusting. Put them back in," she ordered.

With a few small _pops_, the ulna and radius slowly sank back through Soldier's skin and out of sight. It was shame he couldn't figure out how to get his jaw bone back in place as well.

"Soldier, get out of my sight and figure out how to put your jaw back," the Administrator's face was screwed up in revulsion as the Soldier shuffled away. "I hope the Pyro's problem isn't as disgusting as the Soldier's."

Engineer grinned up at the monitor. "Naw, Pyro ain't got it too bad," he chuckled. "I think he's the happiest out of us all 'bout all this."

"And why is that?"

The Pyro stepped up to the monitor. He held up one of his hands and removed the glove to reveal a pale hand. He suddenly snapped his finger and in that instant, a small flame appeared at his fingertips. After letting the flame flicker for a moment, Pyro then slowly spread his finger. The flame in turn got a bit bigger. The Pyro let out a muffled giggle of delight.

"The Pyro can now control fire," the Administrator said flatly. "How ironic."

"I suppose," Engineer said as he watched Pyro hold the flame. "He actually-"

"The Spy."

"Pardon?"

"The Spy," the Administrator repeated. "I've yet to see your Spy. I'm sure he has his problem like the rest of you. Or did he somehow manage to slither his way out of this one?"

The Pyro's flame suddenly went out. He shuddered beneath his suit. Rather abruptly, he backed away from the monitor and went to find a seat. Engineer watched him leave, before turning to face the monitor once again. "Uh… no, ma'am, he didn't," the BLU answered.

"Ah, I see. Where is he then?"

"Um, are you wantin' to actually _see_ him, ma'am?"

"But of course. He's the only member of your team I've yet to see," she chuckled. "I must admit, these… problems you all have are quite amusing."

"I don't think the Spah's problem will be all that amusin' to ya, ma'am," Engineer frowned.

The Administrator raised an eyebrow, glaring from her side of the screen. "What is that supposed to mean?" her voice was like venom.

Engineer cringed. "I-I wouldn't recommend lettin' ya see him, ma'am, that's all. It's, uh, he's…" he trailed off, unsure of how to continue.

"What _is_ his problem?" The Scout piped up from his seat next to the Sniper. "I ain't seen him yet today."

"I have not seen Spy either," Heavy, now leaning against a nearby wall, looked up. He then glanced over to Engineer, who was the only one facing the monitor at the moment. "What is issue with Spy?"

"Uh…" Engineer fidgeted, hesitating.

The Medic suddenly stepped in front of the monitor, pushing the Engineer away. He looked bothered, to say the least. "I must varn you, _Frau_ Administrator, zhe Spy's case is by far zhe vorst. His body… changed quite dramatically. More so zhan zhe Scout's or Soldier's. It is… it is unlike anything I haf ever seen."

Through the monitor, the Administrator's eyes narrowed. "Go get him. _Now_," she hissed.

Medic cringed. He _did_ just warn her… His eyes surveyed the room and soon fell upon the Sniper. "Sniper," he said. "Do me another favor. Go get zhe Spy. He should be in his room."

Though the Sniper's look clearly said he didn't want to, some unseen message must have passed between him and Medic, because a second later he got up and disappeared down a hallway.

Medic sighed as he watched the Australian slip away. He was serious; the Spy's case really was the worst out of them all, at least in his opinion. Fascinating as well, he had to admit, but… He would not want to be as the Spy was now. He also failed to point out it was the Spy's scream that had been everyone's alarm clock that morning. Only Medic, Engineer, and Pyro had seen the Spy so far. And it had not been pretty when the Medic first saw him... He vaguely wondered what the rest of the team's reactions would be. He didn't have to wait long to find out.

"Yo, Spy," Scout greeted as the Sniper and Spy entered the infirmary. "What's up with y…" the words died on the runner's lips. His eyes went wide and he nearly fell out of his chair. His reaction only mirrored the rest of his team's.

The BLU Spy was a very cool and collected guy, like most spies should be. No matter the situation as hand, he almost always knew what to do or had a plan. His teammates respected him because of that. Despite his current situation, he was still cool and collected. Despite his current situation, he still had a plan. Despite his current situation, he would not lose his teammate's respect. Despite needing the Sniper's help to walk, the Spy would be cool. Despite having eight tentacles where his legs should have been, the Spy would be collected. Despite his problem, he would keep his well-earned respect. He was the BLU Spy, after all. "Gentlemen," he greeted.

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A/N: So much dialogue. _So much. _

I was thinking of changing the title of this to "Freak Fortress 2", but do you all think that sounds a bit… offensive? 'Cause technically the BLUs didn't get turned into creatures, just… freaks :D

Soldier's issue is really out there. I changed it multiple times before deciding on that one. The reason it's so weird is because of this one scene I have planned for the final few chapters.

German: _Mein gesicht_ – my face.

_Frau _– Mrs.


	3. Ballroom Blitz

Pit-Trap: I do not own these characters, TF2, etc.

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"Spy has no legs," Heavy said. "Spy has tentacles. Tentacles where legs should be."

"No shit, Sherlock," Scout said before resuming his staring.

The Spy was quite a sight. Not as disgusting as the Soldier, but certainly more… unique. He had no legs. Eight long tentacles were in the place legs should have gone. From the waist down, the dark blue tentacles moved separately from one another as they tried to support and move the Spy. He obviously wasn't used to them, seeing as the Sniper still supported him as they made their way to the monitor. Still, he stood tall and his balaclava-clad face gave nothing away. He was the BLU Spy, after all.

The Administrator had been strangely silent as she watched the Spy enter from her side of the video conference. She eyed him with interest. "Well, aren't you a looker?" she sneered.

"_Bonjour_, to you too, _Madame_ Administrator," Spy sighed. "I take eet you are already aware of everyone's… issues?"

"Oh, but of course," she smiled, eyes narrowed. "I've seen the whole BLU team. And I must say," her grin only widened. "It's _quite_ fascinating."

The BLU team members glanced between one another other.

"Doctor," the Administrator suddenly snapped. "I want examinations done on everyone on the team. I want blood drawn and skin samples. Take photographs as well."

The Medic frowned. "Ve do not haf a camera," he said.

"Well you'll get one before tonight," she waved it off. "I want all those examinations done after the battle. Make sure to-"

"_Excusez-moi, Madame_ Administrator," Spy interrupted. "You want all zhat done after what?"

"After the battle."

"Today's fight?"

"You are scheduled to fight the RED team today, yes," the Administrator raised an eyebrow. "I thought that was obvious."

Sudden cries of protest rang throughout the BLU team. The Medic's rose above the rest, however. "Ve-Ve cannot fight today!" he stuttered. "How vill my teammates know vhere I am? Zhey vill not be able to see me if I disappear! Zhe Spy can barely valk and who knows vhat bones zhe Soldier vill pop out next!" Medic shook his head. "I apologize, _Frau_ Administrator, but I do not zhink ve can fight today."

"Oh, yes, you will," the Administrator snarled. "You are under contract. None of you are deathly ill or injured, which means you _will_ fight today. That is an order."

"We may be under contact," the Spy suddenly said. "But I do not remember zhere being anything about zhe possibility of turning into a creature while I work 'ere in zhe contract either."

The Administrator frowned.

"I do not know about zhe rest of my team," Spy went on. "But I will not fight until I see a very big bonus on my paycheck and written proof zhat you will fix our… problems." Despite needing to lean against the Sniper, he stood tall and stared at the Administrator challengingly.

The BLU team went silent, uneasily shuffling and staring at each other.

"I gotta agree with Spy," Scout eventually piped up. "I ain't fightin' 'less there's a promise these wings are goin'," he said.

"Healing is my job here," Medic said. "I can not heal my teammates if I am invisible and zhey cannot see me. Zherefore, I can not even technically do my job."

"If doctor is not fighting," Heavy frowned. "I will not be fighting."

"Ye lads can count me in fer not fightin' either," Demoman grinned. "I cannae look anyone in the eyes with me one good eye! Ya know how bad that is? I want fixed!"

One by one, the rest of the BLU team slowly agreed, refusing to fight. Even the Pyro nodded in agreement.

The Administrator's face went from furious, to blank, and finally to its usual annoyed look throughout everyone's refusal. There was a long pause as she started them all down. She eventually broke eye contact to pull out two files. She pulled out papers from each and began scanning them. Whipping out a pen, she scribbled something down on one of the papers. "Well, then," was all she said.

The BLU team stared up at the monitor, waiting for the Administrator to say something else.

"This is the amount that will be added to your paycheck," the Administrator finally said, holding up a piece of paper. "Should you agree to fight."

The Medic squinted, took off his glasses, cleaned them, and put them back on.

Sniper stared over the rim of his aviator glasses as well, frowning in disbelief.

Soldier could (still) only sputter.

Scout nearly fell out of his seat. "Is that the total from what we'll all get?" he asked.

"No," the Administrator said. "This is what you'll _each_ get should you fight."

Scout let out a whistle.

"And I would never leave my mercenaries hanging," she went on. "Despite how much your conditions fascinate me, I will of course look for cures to your… problems. All my video conferences are recorded as well, so there is the proof you're looking for, Spy."

"Satisfactory," the Spy answered. "If zhe rest of my team agrees, zhen so will I."

Needless to say, the BLU team then agreed to fight.

"Excellent," the Administrator gave a slight smirk. "I'll delay the fight for an hour or so. You have until then to collect yourselves. I will update you in as soon as I can about finding cures as well. Good luck on the battlefield, gentlemen." And with that, the monitor's screen went black, signaling the end of the video conference.

There was a pause amongst the group of BLU mercenaries.

"Hey, guys," the Scout broke the silence. "I know I agreed to fight an' all, but I dunno if I can. I mean, how am I supposed to run with the wings? They'll slow me down!"

"Speak for yourself," Spy sighed. He just now managed to stand without the Sniper's assistance. Walking wasn't so easy anymore, let alone standing. How would he fair in the upcoming fight?

"I ain't too confident in this here upcoming fight either, fellas," Engineer piped up, crossing his arms. "Some of us are… Well, some of us are just plain messed up now. I don't think today's fight will be too glorious."

"Fight? There won't be no fight," Scout scoffed. "Them REDs'll be too busy laughin' their asses off at us."

"Maggots!"

The entire BLU team turned to look at their Soldier, only to see he had finally managed to get his jaw bone back in place. This was both a very good thing and a very bad thing.

"I've never seen such a bunch of sissies like the lot of you!" Soldier snarled. "Why back when I was still a rookie, we fought no matter what! Rain or shine, ammo or no ammo, day and night! Wings, tentacles, invisibility, funky bones or not, we are still going to fight today! Is that clear?"

Medic sighed. "Ve haf no choice now," he said.

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_"Mission begins in 60 seconds!"_

The BLU team nervously shuffled within their resupply room. The Heavy, currently sitting on a bench, stood up with a sigh and picked up Sascha. Medic soon stood beside him, Medi Gun in hand. Soldier paced in front of the door, as if doing so would make it open faster. The Pyro watched him do so, bored. Demoman was checking his Grenade Launcher, while Sniper was doing the same to his rifle. Engineer sorted through his toolbox, a frown on his face. Scout stared towards the ground and tapped his foot impatiently. Spy was busy smoking like a chimney.

"Alright, men," Soldier suddenly stopped his pacing to stare at the rest of his team. "Today I want hardhat and Down Under to hold down the fort. Smokey, I want you to stay near the base as well. Cyclops, you on offense with me and the big guy! String-bean and doc: business as usual. French fry… just do what you can."

Whenever the Soldier gave out battle plans like that, they were usually a little more detailed. And the rest of the BLUs would usually listen to the Soldier's ideas. Aside from enjoying war a little too much, the guy did have some decent ideas once in a while. But today's weren't exactly the best. The Soldier must've had other things on his mind. Like, what bone would slip through his skin next. Never the less, the BLUs all gave unenthusiastic responses and groans.

Spy simply snorted after hearing what the Soldier said. He tossed his cigarette away. Do what he can…

Sniper, who stood next to the balaclava-clad man, leaned over and mumbled, "If ya want, mate, ya can stick by me in the battlements. Y'know, keep the enemy Spoi off my back or somethin'."

"I think not," the Spy replied sharply. "I can manage." It was a… generous offer, but Spy did still have his pride to protect. No legs, sure, but he still had his pride.

_"Mission begins in 5… 4… 3… 2… 1…"_

As the resupply room's door slide open, the alarm that signaled the battle had begun went off. The entire BLU team hesitated for a split second. Then, they snapped to life. Scout burst out of the room and got out of there first, as usual. Soldier was quick to follow, letting out a battle cry. Demoman followed, shaking his head. Heavy trudged out and Medic followed close behind. Pyro meandered out at a leisurely pace, clearly in no hurry. Sniper adjusted his hat and started towards the battlements. Watching the Spy move was interesting. Each tentacle separately moved as he walked out of the resupply room. Not use to walking like that, he would certainly be slower. He was quick to cloak himself. Engineer, deciding to take Soldier's advice, headed towards the courtyard of their base.

Once at the courtyard, Engineer quickly erected a sentry. Yes, he definitely be sticking close to the base today. Well, he usually did, but he'd be sticking even closer. He probably wouldn't fair too well if he left the base and ran into a RED. If an enemy hit him in the right place… He just didn't want his head to come off again. It'd just be a hindrance! Engineer briefly wondered if he'd respawn if he simply lost his head. And would his head respawn separately or attached to his body? His musings were interrupted when he heard the door to the resupply room open and close, followed by a Bostonian voice swearing.

Engineer could help chuckling to himself before shouting, "Re-spawned already, son?"

The Scout quickly rounded the corner and sped down the stairs and into the courtyard, screeching to a stop next to the Texan. "Hey, it ain't funny! And 'sides, I let myself get killed."

"You let yourself?" Engineer repeated.

"Yeah," Scout nodded. "I ran into the RED base and bumped into their Pyro. You would not fuckin' believe what he did."

"What?"

"Nothin'! That's what!" Scout shouted, frustrated. "He just fuckin' stared at me for like a whole goddamned minute! I actually had to shoot the guy to get him movin'! But as I was kickin' his ass, I figured I should let him beat me. I thought maybe the fire would singe the wings and maybe they'd burn off in respawn or somethin'." Said wings fluttered a few times. "Didn't work out too well," he grumbled.

"It was, uh, nice try there, son," the Engineer tried to console him. "But I reckon we're all gonna be stuck with out problems for a while. Or at least until the Administrator comes up with some cure. Just do your best out there for now."

"You should-a seen the other REDs though! Laughin' their asses off," Scout continuously grumbled to himself.

"Well look at the bright side, son," Engineer grinned. "At least we'll all know if a Spy tries to disguise as ya. He won't have any wings!"

Scout snorted and rolled his eyes, but grinned back none the less.

"Now, get outta here," Engineer shooed the boy away. "I've got sentries ta build and you got Intel ta get!"

"Yeah, yeah," Scout turned to leave.

"Hey, Scout, hold up," Engineer suddenly said, causing the Scout to glance at him over his shoulder. "Why don't ya actually try flyin' with those wings of yours? Let's see them REDs laugh when ya _fly_ away with their Intel."

Scout frowned, looking thoughtful. "I… I dunno," he looked a bit hesitant. "I'll think about it, overalls."

Engineer nodded. "Good luck out there, son," he said.

Scout nodded and shot off, heading towards the battlements. He thought about Engie's words. Fly? Could he really do that? He figured the wings on his back were too small for him to fly with… It was worth a shot he supposed. As he reached the battlements, he stopped. Sniper was at the opposite end of them, looking through his rifle. "Yo, Snipes," Scout called to his teammate.

Sniper lowered the gun and glanced at him "Wot is it, gremlin?"

Scout jerked his head in the direction of the enemy base. "Are the RED battlements clear?"

"Sure is," Sniper answered, bringing his gun back up. "Just sent the RED Sniper to respawn. Bridge is empty at the moment too."

"Good," Scout answered and ran out. He jumped off their battlements and into the air. He landed on the bridge, but immediately jumped again, flinging himself in the air. Then, he started beating the insect-like wings on his back. It wasn't easy. Flapping them was a lot of work. Unfortunately, so was steering. Oh, Scout managed to stay in the air. It was just the flying in a straight line part he had an issue with. He somehow managed to get over to the RED battlements without falling though. His landing wasn't too graceful (not that he usually was, anyways) and hitting the concrete wall was pretty painful too, but he made it. He flew.

Across the way, Scout could hear his fellow BLU shout in surprise. "Crikey!" Sniper gaped. His hand flew to an earpiece in his right ear. "Scout just flew!" he said to whoever was listening over their radio system.

There came a static-y laugh from the Engineer. "I knew he'd be able ta fly if he tried!"

There was a loud _crack_ as the BLU Sniper's rifle went off. Damn, he missed. He quickly moved behind a nearby wall as an enemy Soldier's rockets came hurdling towards him. "Gettin' the Intel should be easy for the little ankle-biter then!"

"Hey, hey," Scout's voice came over the system now. "Ya know, it ain't always e- Ah, shit!"

Back in the courtyard, the BLU Engineer quickly finished up his Level Three sentry before reaching for an earpiece in his left ear. Knowing very well how dangerous it was in the enemy base, he said worriedly, "Ya alright in there, son?"

"No!" Scout's static-y reply came sharply. "Why the hell are these ceilings so goddamned low? I just hit my head, like, five freakin' times!"

The Engineer let out a chuckled relief. "Them rooms aren't exactly made for flyin', Scout. Maybe ya should stick ta runnin' inside."

"Yeah, yeah," Was all Scout said in reply.

Engineer rolled his eyes. "Just be careful in there, son," he said.

"Maybe you should be more careful yourself," A heavily accented voice said from behind the BLU.

"What in-!" Engineer quickly turned around, gun ready, but it was already too late.

His sentry was already sapped and his blood was already spilled.

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A/N: Err.

Don't got much to say about this chapter. It's a chapter. That's about it...

Up Next: As the fight continues, Demo puts someone to sleep, Soldier and Medic have a moment, and Sniper finds his aim is shocking!


	4. Heads Will Roll

Pit-Trap: I do not own these characters, TF2, etc.

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The sentry gave a few more buzzing noises before crumbling to the ground. The BLU Engineer's body lay not too far from it. The RED Spy smirked in satisfaction, glancing at the nearby RED Pyro, who had been the one to decapitate the Engineer with his axe. "I must say, _mon ami_," the RED pulled out a cigarette. "I should work with you more often. Zhat went just as planned."

The RED Pyro giggled in reply. "Mph mrph," he said.

"Take care of zheir Sniper, will you? I will be busy taking zheir Intel," With that, the RED Spy cloaked.

The RED Pyro was about to walk up to the BLU battlements, but a sudden, shrill whistle stopped him. He turned around, axe out and ready, but no one was there. Just the remains of the sentry, the BLU Engineer's body, and his decapitated head- It moved. The RED nearly shrieked. The _supposed to be dead_ BLU Engineer's head just moved!

"Sniper!" The BLU loudly yelled, his voice echoing off the courtyard's walls. "There's a Spah 'round here!"

The RED Pyro stared at the head, confused. That BLU should be dead! He chopped his head off his axe! First the BLU Scout with the wings, now the BLU Engineer's head was talking without being connected to his body!

"What'cha lookin' at, mumbles?!" The BLU Engineer spat at the RED. "What's-a matter, son? Oh, am I supposed to be dead? I do beg your pardon!" He snarled sarcastically. He actually was kind of hurt. He'd probably bleed out and be spent to respawn here in a few minutes. The axe had cut him, but due to his… problem, the swing off the RED Pyro's axe had mostly just pushed his head off his body.

The RED Pyro snapped out of his stupor. Head or headless, this Engineer was a BLU and somehow still alive, meaning the Pyro needed to finish the job. He raised his axe, prepared to split the head open, but another whistle stopped him. He turned in time to see his teammate's body being flung to the courtyard ground.

"Spies," the BLU Sniper snarled, glaring at the body of the RED Spy. He twirled his Kukri around. "Bloody useless." Quick as ever, the BLU replaced the Kukri with his Huntsman. He fired an arrow at the other RED, piercing him in the foot.

The RED Pyro cried out in pain. He tried to pull out his Shotgun to return fire, but the BLU was faster. An arrow to the head soon sent the RED to respawn.

The BLU Sniper then raced down the stairs, yelling, "Truckie! Ya still alive, mate?"

"Mah head, stretch," Engineer said as the fellow BLU approached. "Would ya mind puttin' it back on my body?"

"Aw, ya serious, mate?" Sniper frowned. "Why didn't ya just get sent to respawn?"

"I dunno," If his head was currently connected to his body, Engineer would have shrugged. Sadly, he wasn't at the moment. "The RED just really knocked mah head off, that's all. Now, would ya mind?"

Sniper gingerly picked up his teammate's head and walked over to they body. He paused, looking down at the body and wondering how exactly he was going to do this…

"Here," Engineer piped up. "Lemme help... Get up, ya lazy bum! Yeah, I'm talkin' to you!"

The Engineer's body suddenly sat up. It twisted left and right, as if looking around.

"Right in front of ya, dummy," Engineer said, watching the body stand up.

Sniper just raised an eyebrow.

"It's a lot harder ta control your body when your heads not connected to it," Engineer noted.

"I bet," Sniper replied as he set the Engineer's head back on his body.

After a few _clicks_ and _pops_, the Texan sighed. "Ah, that's better."

Sniper chuckled. "Try ta keep yer head on, truckie," he grinned at the other. "I got things ta shoot."

"I need ta take a trip to the resupply room myself," Engineer sighed as the two stared up the stairs. "How you suppose the rest of the team's doin'?"

"_We have taken the enemy's Intelligence!"_ A booming voice suddenly exclaimed over a nearby speaker.

Sniper chuckled. "I'd say pretty well, mate, pretty well," he said.

Suddenly, the Demoman's voice came over their radio system, sounding uncertain. "Uh, lads," he said. "I'm in a bit of a situation."

As the BLU Engineer walked back into the resupply room, Sniper headed back towards their battlements. Hand on the earpiece in his ear, he asked, "What's up, Demo?"

"Uh, I seem ta have knocked the RED Scoot out," Demoman replied. "I'm down in the sewers, our side. Should I kill 'im?"

"Nah," Sniper answered. "A sleepin' Scout won't be stealin' our Intel. Leave 'im be."

"If ye say so," Demoman said. "He'll wake up pretty soon though."

"I will take care of 'im when 'e wakes up," the BLU Spy's voice intervened. "Demoman, go assist zhe Soldier or something."

_"We have dropped the enemy Intelligence!" _

"…" There was a pause over their system.

Down in the sewers beneath Teufort, the BLU Spy sighed. "On second thought," he said. "Go see if you can get zhe Intel, _oui_?"

"Sure thing, spook," Demoman answered. He crossed the waters beneath the bridge, entering the enemy sewers. He didn't notice the eyes watching them. It was a good thing they belonged to his teammate and not an enemy.

The BLU Spy rose from the waters, pinstriped suit and balaclava soaked. He frowned in disgust. It was just water and it would come out when he cleaned them later, but that wasn't what was bothering him. It was the mere thought that he had been degraded to stalking the sewers instead of infiltrating enemy lines. With tentacles instead of legs, walking wasn't very easy anymore and moving around the sewers and the water beneath the bridge was much easier than the bases above. Nearly growling in repulsion, Spy entered the sewers beneath his base.

The RED Scout wasn't too hard to find. He was slumped against a nearby wall, half submerged in water. Shame, a littler further down and he would have drowned himself. Ah, well. He would be easy to kill. And the Demoman was right; the effects of his eye didn't last too long. The RED was already stirring, grumbling, "Ugh, what the hell…?"

The BLU Spy was quick to reach two tentacles forward and bind the RED Scout's legs. With a yank, he jerked the RED Scout closer. Another tentacle tossed the RED's gun away. The terrified look on his face made the Spy want to smirk, but he didn't. He knew the terror wasn't from the fact he was about to be killed, it was because of the way the Spy currently looked. With a sigh, the BLU pulled out his Revolver and shot the RED Scout in the head.

"Aughh!" A single cry of pain and the runner was dead.

Out of the sewers and out on the bridge, the BLU Soldier glanced around. "You hear somethin', doc?" he asked the BLU Medic, who was crouched next to him.

"Only zhe sound of my own bones cracking," Medic ground out, clutching his left arm. Damn Sniper. Luckily his shot missed his head. Not so lucky for their Heavy, however…

"Come on, doc," Soldier nudged him. "It's not safe to stand out in the open like this."

"Not safe," The doctor scoffed as he stood up. "Tell zat to Heavy." He quickly followed Soldier into the enemy base, where they both paused once inside.

"Would you relax, princess?" Soldier glanced around. "Your knight in shining armor will respawn and be back to sweep you off you feet in no time! Until then, looks like you're stuck with me!"

Medic rolled his eyes. "Oh, lucky me," he frowned. "I vas just saying, you could haf varned us about zhe RED Sniper before ve charged out to zhe bridge!"

"Hey, I didn't notice him at first either," Soldier defended himself. "But once he killed the Commie, I knew his position! And I was able to kill 'em too!"

"Not before he vas able to shoot me, though?"

"…" Soldier glanced at Medic, surely glaring at him from beneath his trusty helmet. "You're not dead, are you?"

"I am vounded."

"That's not the same thing," Soldier said as he reloaded his Rocket Launcher. "Now, would you kindly quit your gripping and be quiet? I think I hear a sentry up ahead. You good to go?"

"I suppose," Medic sighed, aiming his Medi Gun at his teammate.

"Good," Soldier dashed around a corner, gun good and ready, but suddenly slammed to a stop.

Medic ran into his back. "Vhat now, you- Oh…"

The two BLUs stared. In front of them stood the BLU Heavy. Only… it couldn't be their Heavy, he had just been sent to respawn. There was no way…

Soldier's arm shot forward and he pointed with a declaration of, "Spy!" Unfortunately after his declaration, the Soldier's bones decided they didn't like being kept beneath his skin. So all of his hand and arm bones simply pealed away and popped out of his skin. The arm then flopped down a smidge, while the bones remained pointing at the disguised RED Spy, who gaped back at him.

"Now is not zhe time to be doing zat, Soldier!" Medic yelled at the man.

"Well, it's not exactly the time for you to be disappearing either!" Soldier shot back.

"Vhat?" Medic looked down at himself. He then frowned. He couldn't see his own hands. He was invisible again. Strangely, the Medi Gun he was holding went invisible as well. "Gah, how am I supposed to control zat? Ack, nevermind! Soldier, kill zhat Spy!"

"Oh, yeah," Soldier turned to look back where the enemy RED Spy, who was still disguised as their Heavy, was standing. He wasn't standing after the BLU Soldier shot him with his Rocket Launcher though. Nah, he was kind of all over the place after that, mostly in bits and pieces and splattered against the RED base's walls. "There," Soldier grinned. "I took care of him. Now would you mind taking care of my arm?"

"Vhat?"

"You're the doc, doc," Soldier frowned, looking to his left. "And my bones are currently _outside_ of my skin. I'm no Medic, but I'm pretty sure that's not normal!"

"Vell, first of all, I am to your right, Soldier."

"Oh," Soldier looked to his right.

"Second of all, vhat makes you zhink I can fix it?" Medic went on. "You are zhe one who fixed it zhis morning! You fix it!"

"But, doc-"

"Mrrr mrph!" The BLU Pyro suddenly rounded a nearby corner. He stopped when he saw his two teammates. Well technically he could only _see_ one… He could only tell the Medic was there because he had caught a bit of their chatter as he came around the corner. Pyro looked at Soldier and then to the spot he assumed Medic was (he could only guess because of where Soldier had been looking), and back to Soldier again. The two were clearly having a moment, best to not interrupt. "Mph!" And with that, Pyro turned around and walked the other way.

"Did he even haf his Flame Thrower vith him?" Medic raised an eyebrow in the direction of the retreating Pyro.

"I don't know, nor do I really care," Soldier grumbled. "I care more about the fact _my bones are sticking out of my arm!_ How am I supposed to shoot with bone fingers?"

"You just shot zhe RED Spy vith your bone fingers!"

"Well, I'd prefer to shoot REDs with normal fingers, not my bones!"

"Oh, don't be such a baby," Medic rolled his eyes. "Your bones vill go back into your skin… I hope."

"What is that supposed to m-"

The BLU Heavy suddenly rounded the corner, grumbling, "You two argue like… How does sniping man say it? Ah, you two argue like married couple."

"What?" The BLU Soldier and Medic turned to gape at him. Well, at least the Soldier did. It was hard to tell with Medic.

"Is true," Heavy shrugged. "Should be killing REDs, not bickering." He glanced at the spot he heard the Medic's voice from. "Does doctor know he is not visible?"

"No, I never noticed," Medic replied a bit sarcastically. "You know vhat? I am going to help zhe Pyro. Pyro, vait for me!" With that, the Medic charged in the direction the Pyro had gone. Well at least that's what the Soldier and Heavy assumed because they couldn't really see him…

"Wait, doc," Soldier suddenly called. "What about my hand?"

There was no reply.

"Hand is fine," Heavy piped up, looking at his teammate's arm. "Can still shoot, yes?"

Soldier frowned. "Well, yeah, but-"

"Then you can still fight."

"But-"

"_We have taken the enemy Intelligence!" _

They both perked up after hearing that.

"Wonderful!" Soldier grinned. "Who do you suppose got it?"

"Uh," Scout's voice suddenly came over their radio system. "Little help? I got three different REDs on my tail here!"

Well, that answered Soldier's question. Soldier and Heavy looked at one another. "Alright, alright, let's go help string-bean," Soldier loaded his Rocket Launcher with his bone-y hands. The rest of the arm hung a bit limp as he did so. The two dashed into the RED courtyard. It was empty. Well, at the moment anyway. The increasing sound of gunshots could be heard.

The BLU Scout suddenly burst from the L-Shaft, Intel in hand. He made a quick right, running along the ledges, swearing as he went. "Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit!"

The RED Scout and Demoman were right behind him, shooting and launching bombs about. Well, they were for a little while anyways. Not after the BLU Heavy and Soldier was done firing a plethora of bullets at them. They were kind of dead after that.

"Jeez, could yous two take any longer?" Scout paused on the ledge above them to whistle appreciatively, glancing at the two dead REDs. "Not bad, fellas, not bad," he grinned down at his teammates.

Soldier laughed in triumph. "Nice shot, Commie!"

"Was easy," Heavy patted Sascha. "Now tiny Scout can-"

The Heavy was interrupted when several rockets suddenly exploded between himself and Soldier, sending them both flying back. They landed several feet away, both dead and headed for respawn.

The Scout looked to his left only to see the RED Soldier exciting the L-Shaft and charging at him as he reloaded his Rocket Launcher. "Shit." Time to leave. He quickly turned around and ran for the RED battlements. If he could make it across the bridge and into his own base he'd be home free. "If" was the keyword, however. Luckily, the RED battlements were devoid of any other REDs, so getting atop the bridge was fairly easy.

It wasn't too easy to lose the RED Soldier though; he simply rocket-jumped onto the bridge, following the BLU Scout. "Say good-bye, city-boy!" The RED took aim with his Rocket Launcher. He could've fired too. Well, only if an arrow hadn't shot him in the arm. That wasn't it though. It was if any electric shock followed the arrow as it pierced his skin. Never had the RED Soldier felt this when he got shot with a Huntsman before. "Arrgh!" With a pained yell, the RED tumbled off the bridge and into the waters bellow.

The BLU Scout wasted no time in jumping off the bridge and to his own battlements. He dove behind the nearest wall and stopped, gasping for breath. He wasn't quite sure what just happened. One minute, the RED Soldier was about to shoot him, the next minute he was gone. He glanced to his left to see the BLU Sniper with his Huntsman out. Oh. "Snipes," Scout called. "What'd ya do? Shoot him with your Huntsman?"

The Sniper was staring at his hands, Huntsman lowered. "I did, but," a flicker of blue sparks dashed between the man's fingers. "I think I shocked 'im too."

Scout looked confused. "How'd ya do that?"

"Well I saw 'im followin' ya, so I figured I make quick work of 'im since he was too focused on shootin' you, instead of noticin' me," Sniper clenched his hand. "When he was about ta shoot ya, I fired and, well… electricity just followed…"

"Ha!" Scout grinned. "So he got shot and shocked? Yous should shoot like that more often, Snipes!" The runner said before dashing off to the bowels of their base to deliver the Intel.

Sniper stared at his hand. Electricity flowed around it. He clenched it again and the sparks intensified. Shoot like that more often…? The Aussie smirked.

And his smirk only widened when he heard: _"We have captured the enemy's Intelligence!"_

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A/N: I was gonna write a classic Heavy and Medic scene during the battle, but the Soldier and Medic bit kinda happened instead. Kinda liked how it turned out.

Up Next: Demoman finds he doesn't like mirrors anymore, Pyro plays with fire, and Spy has a predicament that he wants Scout to help him out with.


	5. Looking Glass

Pit-Trap: I do not own these characters, TF2, etc.

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"Oh," Medic looked at his hand, which was currently going _through_ the clipboard all his notes were attached to. "Zat's new."

Sniper raised an eyebrow and Demoman just stared. "That's a bit disturbin'," Sniper noted. "How ya even doin' that?"

"I'm more concerned about how I'm going to get it out. I think it is stuck," Medic frowned. He tried to pull his hand out of the clipboard, but it wouldn't come lose. "_Ja_, stuck. Demoman, vould you mind grabbing zhe clipboard and pulling?"

From his seat across the Medic, Demoman grabbed onto the clipboard. After a few tugs, the Medic's hand slipped through the clipboard once more. "Ah," Medic shook his hand a bit. "I'm lucky something like zat did not happen during zhe fight."

"Speakin' of the fight, I still don't see how we won," Sniper frowned.

"Vell, you see, Sniper," Medic carefully explained. "Ve had to outsmart zhe REDs and capture zheir Intel. Ve outsmarted zhem and after zat ve captured zheir Intel-"

"I know _how_," Sniper snapped. "I jus' didn't think we'd actually bloody win. I mean, you were invisible half the time, Spy was stuck down in the sewers where he didn't make too many kills, and Soldier-"

"Ugh," Medic groaned, interrupting the other BLU. "Do not remind me about zhe Soldier. You know he managed to take _out_ his arm bones some time during zhe battle, right? He started beating zhe REDs vith his radius and ulna and all his hand bones instead of his shovel!"

"He pulled out _all_ his arm bones?"

"From zhe radius and ulna on down."

"How the hell'd the bloke manage that?" Sniper leaned forward a bit in the chair he was sitting in.

Medic shrugged. "He vas one of zhe first I examined after zhe match, but he had already put zhe bones back in place. He vouldn't take zhem out again after zat," he shook his head.

"Medic," Demoman groaned from his seat. "Would ye stop yer gossipin' and jus' finish my exam already? Gettin' bored of starin' at walls, here!" He glared at the Medic with his eye (but was careful not to glare directly at Medic's eyes). He didn't enjoy being in the infirmary. He figured the only two people on the team who would enjoy being in here was the Medic himself and the Heavy, who actually was in a chair not too far away, reading a book. Sniper sat diagonally from Demoman, waiting for his own examination.

"_Ja, ja_," Medic looked down at the notes on the table in front of him. "Let's see… Here, look me in zhe eyes and do your… eye thing."

Demoman raised an eyebrow. "Is that such a good idea, doc?"

"Oh, I vill be fine," The German waved it off. "One of you just vake me up after I am out."

Rolling his eye, Demoman shrugged. If that's what the quack wanted… He leaned forward a bit, looking the Medic straight in the eye.

Two seconds later, the Medic was out. He fell out of his chair and to the floor, unconscious.

Demoman glanced down at him.

"Aw," Sniper looked at the passed out German as well. "Look what ya did to 'im, mate."

"Oi, he's the one who wanted it done!"

Sniper just grinned.

Without taking his eyes off his book, the Heavy stretched his arm over the ten-foot or so gap between himself and the Medic and gently smacked him a few times on the cheek.

The Medic immediately jumped awake, blinking. "Ah, _danke, kamerad_," the Heavy's arm stretched back into place as Medic sat up and put his hand on his head. "Zat felt a bit like fainting," he commented as he stood and sat back down in his seat. He wrote something down on his notes.

"Am I done now, doc?" Demoman groaned as he looked towards the ceiling.

"Almost," Medic reached under the table and pulled out a mirror. "Now, look into zhis."

Demoman glanced to see what the Medic was talking about, but quickly jerked his head away when he saw it was a mirror. "You kiddin'?" he snapped. "I'll knock mahself out if I look inta that!"

"You don't know zat!" Medic argued. "It could be zat you only knock other people out when you look into zhier eyes. You don't know if zat vill happen vhen you look into your own eye! It could haf no effect at all for all you know."

Demoman sighed. After a small pause, he asked, "I'm done after that, right?"

"_Ja_, of course."

Demoman groaned once again, but after a second he looked into the mirror the Medic was holding. It took a few more seconds, but the Scot did end up knocking himself out as well. He slumped out of his chair and onto the ground.

Sniper glanced down at the passed out Scot. "Aw," he said. "Look what ya did to 'im, mate."

"Fascinating," Medic quickly set the mirror down and scribbled something down on his notes. "Sniper, I am ready for you now."

"Aren't 'cha gonna wake 'im up?" Crossing his arms, Sniper nodded towards Demoman.

"Oh, _ja_," Medic leaned down and flicked Demoman on the nose. "You can go now, Demoman."

Demoman jumped awake. "Wha…" He looked around before standing up, a hand on his head. Well, he wasn't going to be looking into any mirrors anytime soon. He needed a drink. He left the Medic to experiment- err, examine the Sniper and made his way to the kitchen. Once there, he found the Engineer, Scout, and Pyro in there as well. "'ey, boyos," Demoman greeted as he walked over to the fridge. "What's goin' on?"

"Hey there, Cyclops," Engineer nodded at him. He was putting dishes away.

"Hey," Scout said absentmindedly. He was watching Pyro, who was gloveless and busy juggling fireballs.

Demoman did a double-take. "Is the firebug jugglin' fire?" he asked, grabbing some booze and slamming the fridge door shut.

"Yeah," both Scout and Engineer answered, though the Texan was shaking his head like he couldn't believe it.

Pyro just giggled gleefully behind his mask.

"Huh," Demoman sat next to Scout, watching the Pyro as well. But after he took a swig of his drink, he asked Scout, "Why aren't ya wearn' a shirt, boyo?"

"'Cause I already ruined three of my shirts!" Scout tore his eyes away from Pyro. "I had to cut holes in 'em for these stupid wings!" Said wings fluttered a few times.

"Eh," Demoman looked into his bottle. "I'd rather have yer wings than me eye trick. Then I could actually _look_ at people and in the mirror…" He brought his bottle to his lips and tipped it back.

"I'm afraid I'll have to second that," Engineer piped up. "Not very fun gettin' your head knocked off over fifty times durin' a battle."

"Fifty?" Demoman raised an eyebrow.

"I lost count after that," Engineer sighed. "The RED Scout seemed ta enjoy mah plight, though. Came back time after time just ta hit mah head right of mah shoulders." He let out a humorless chuckle. "Seemed to focus on that 'stead of gettin' out Intel."

Demoman chuckled too. "'ey that's their problem, not ours!"

"Personally," Scout frowned. "I'd rather have doc's thing. Goin' invisible and shit would be awesome!"

"He's really like a ghoul now, too," Demoman chuckled. "Did ya know he can go through stuff now? Stuck his hand right through a clipboard, he did!"

"See?" Scout said. "That would be awesome!"

"But he still can't figure out how to control his disappearin' and reappearin'?" Grinning, Engineer just shook his head. "Even so, flyin' must be nice."

"Yeah," Demoman looked at Scout "What's it like, lad?"

Scout paused, looking thoughtful. "Hard to do," he answered. "Flapping these wings ain't easy. And when I do get in the air, I can't steer for shit! Can't move fast either."

"Eh," Demoman shrugged. "Ye just got the wings, lad. No need ta worry."

Pyro finally stopped juggling fireballs. He had been quiet the entire conversation. "Mrph," he said as he put his gloves back on. "Yunnph onnph grrph unnn mrph tnnnf apph tmm mrph mm."

"Pyro's right," Engineer said, closing a cabinet door shut. "You'll only get more used to them as time goes on, but it's up to you to decide if that's a good thing or a bad thing, though."

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"Get used to 'em," Scout scoffed as he pulled himself out of the water, recalling what the Engineer had said the other night. "Yeah, right. These wings ain't definitely a good thing either." They were fighting the REDs again already and let's just say it wasn't going as well as it had the other day. The REDs were putting up a pretty good fight today. The RED Sniper had just about shot Scout out of the sky. He had dodged it, yes, but couldn't regain his balance afterwards and fell to the water beneath Teufort's bridge. Soggy wings also meant he was grounded for a while. Scout just let out a frustrated growl. Wings be damned, he could still run. That's practically what he was paid to do, anyways. He waded into the sewers beneath the RED base.

As Scout took a moment to shake himself off and reload his gun, he failed to notice someone approaching from behind. He only realized someone was behind him until a voice spoke in his ear, "You should pay more attention to your surroundings, _lapin_."

"Shit!" Scout jumped a good foot or two into the air and whipped around, gun pointed. Despite it looking like the BLU Spy, it could very well be the RED one in disguise. But after glancing down and seeing tentacles instead of legs, Scout was fairly certain it was the BLU Spy. Lowering his gun, he said, "Do _not_ sneak up on me like that, asshole! I could-a shot ya!"

"Oh, yes," Spy smirked. "Because you clearly knew I was 'ere."

"Screw you, you could-a been a RED," Scout replied.

Spy just snorted before asking, "What brings you down 'ere?"

"Oh, I just decided to take a quick dip," Scout answered sarcastically. "Sewer water does wonders for yer health."

"Really."

"Yeah, really," Scout rolled his eyes before eventually saying, "Fuckin' RED Sniper. Nearly shot me on the bridge. Lost my balance and fell."

"Hmm," Spy hummed in thought.

"Yeah, now," Scout stared walking away, feet making small swishing sounds in the shallow sewer water. "If you'll 'scuse me, I'ma go shoot his brains out."

"Wait a moment, _lapin_," Spy followed a few steps, only stopping when the other turned to look at him. "Do me a favor: go see if you can lead a RED down 'ere."

"Huh?"

"I 'ave only managed three kills so far," Spy frowned. He pulled out his knife and twirled it around. "Zhe REDs seemed to 'ave realized I am down 'ere. I 'aven't seen any in a while and I ache to stab someone."

"Why can't ya go up there yourself?" Scout asked with an incredulous look on his face. The look was wiped off his face when a wet tentacle suddenly wrapped around one of his ankles. He hoped the Spy didn't notice him shiver.

"I thought zhe reason was obvious," Spy smirked, tightening his grip.

Scout did feel a bit bad for Spy because the guy had freakin' tentacles and all... Or at least he tried. It was kind of hard to when Spy had a freakin' tentacle wrapped around his ankle. It felt weird. But anyways, Scout supposed he could help. Only if the Spy would let go with the freakin' tentacle first. "Alright, alright," Scout lifted his foot and shook it a little. "I'll help, just let go already!"

"Much obliged," Spy released him and watched as he scampered through the tunnel and up into the RED base.

Finding a RED wasn't too hard; Scout was in their base, after all. He caught sight of the RED Engineer beginning building a sentry near the base's entrance. Hey, this would be two birds with one stone. Switching his scattergun for his pistol, Scout aimed and fired. After a few shots, the sentry was destroyed. The RED Engineer, too slow to have saved his sentry, turned to find the source for his sentry's demise. Scout whistled and waved. "I broke your stupid crap, moron!"

"You're gettin' it now, boy!" The RED pulled out his shotgun, firing a few rounds as he approached the BLU.

Scout dodged and backtracked, yelling, "Catch me if ya can, ya hillbilly!" He shot a few times at the RED, but most of the shots missed. He had to focus on leading him into the sewers. It was kind of working. That is, until he got to the stairs leading down into the sewers. As Scout ran down them, he noticed there weren't any gunshots following him. He looked back.

The RED Engineer was stopped right at the top of the stairs. He shot down at the Scout once, but turned away after that. Shaking his head and grumbling to himself, the RED ran back into his base's courtyard.

Scout tilted his head a bit. He ran? But he was running away so slow, goading the RED to follow him! Groaning, Scout ran back into the sewers. "Yo, Spy," he called once in there.

Spy materialized right next to him, causing Scout to jump. Damn cloaking device. "Well?" Spy raised an eyebrow.

"I think they know you're down here," Scout said as he reloaded his pistol. "I tried to get the RED Engineer down here, but he wouldn't follow."

"Of course 'e wouldn't," Spy snorted. "It is an _Engineer_. Zhey never leave zhe base. Zhey are defensive. Try someone else."

Scout rolled his eyes. "Jesus, yous should be thankful I'm helping ya at all!"

Spy just shooed him away with a wave of his hand and a tentacle. He cloaked a second later, waiting.

Scout ran back up the stairs and back into the RED base. He spotted his new target right away. The RED Demoman was running towards the courtyard. Hey, and he was injured too! Smirking, Scout pulled out his Sandman and swung. His ball missed by a mile, but it got the Demoman's attention. That's what he wanted. "'sup, knucklehead?" Scout called, grinning cheekily.

The RED Demoman turned, eye narrowed. "Oh," he said when he noticed the BLU. "Does the wee little pixie want to play?"

Scout twitched. He really just wanted to shoot the RED Demoman now. Spy owed him big time. Gritting his teeth, Scout instead pulled out his pistol and shot a few times, missing. He then began to backtrack, leading the RED Demoman into the sewers. But, shocker, it didn't work again. Same as the Engineer, the RED Demoman stopped at the stairs, reluctant to enter the sewers. "Oh, you have got to be freakin' kiddin' me!" Scout cried, angrily shooting in the RED's direction again.

His only reply was a red grenade rolling his way.

"Oh, fuc-"

It exploded, sending him flying back into the sewers. Scout landed on his back in the ankle-deep water. He was surprised he hadn't been sent to respawn with that one. Groaning, he started to sit up.

Spy was suddenly beside him, looking down at him. "Zhat appeared to 'ave gone well."

"Do not even _fuckin' start_," Scout hissed. "They fuckin' know you're down here! Case closed! Ya got no hope of killin' anybody rest of da match." His Bostonian accent got a bit stronger the angrier he got. He shakily stood up, placing a hand on his throbbing head. He blinked, noticing something with his headset. He took it off. "Aw, great. Headset fuckin' broke," he grumbled to himself.

Spy watched him for a moment before asking, "Zhe RED Demoman, I presume?"

"Yeah, yeah," Scout slung the broken headset around his neck. "I ain't tryin' ta bring another RED down here, by the way," he informed the other. "Too much trouble."

Spy sighed. "I figured," he frowned. "Go get zheir Intel or something zhen. I will be 'ere should you need me." He cloaked without another word and the barely audible sound of water parting told Scout he was leaving.

"Hey," Scout looked down into the sewers, in the last place he saw Spy. "At least it can't get no worst than this."

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"Scout," Spy looked over to the other. "You know 'ow the other day you said eet can't get much worst zhan zhis?"

Scout fought the urge to cringe. "Yeah?"

Spy narrowed his eyes at the runner. "Eet just did," he said before turning back to the monitor. The entire BLU team was in the infirmary, having a video conference with the Administrator. It wasn't going too well.

The Engineer was currently the only one in front of the monitor, however, staring it down. His face was clearly unhappy. "You've got ta be kiddin' me," he sighed. "Ya can't expect us to fight in our conditions like this forever!"

"Why would I kid about such an important matter?" The Administrator looked slightly annoyed, but fairly relaxed from her side of the screen. She wasn't helping to ease the mercenaries' worries. "This sort of thing will take time. I barely received the Medic's results two days ago. My scientists need time to review it. Finding a cure for your ailments is going along nicely. It will just take time."

Engineer bit back the urge to say something unpleasant to the woman. "If you say so, ma'am," was what he ground out instead.

"I'm glad you understand," The Administrator gave an icy grin. "I will contact you as soon as I have an update. Until then, carry on as normal." The conference then ended with the Administrator's image disappearing in a flicker of the screen.

The entire BLU team let out collected sigh of disappointment. This week was not going too well.

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A/N: I meant to have this chapter up quite a few days ago. I'm going to blame college and work, and not my laziness. I also meant to have this story finished around the end of October. That's not gonna happen. I mean, so far I plan on this being 10-12 chapters long…

It's taken me quite a few chapters to point this out, but why isn't the Horseless Headless Horsemann's name here on ?

Up Next: The BLUs mess around a bit, but in the end they just want to be normal again.


	6. Girls Just Want to Have Fun

Pit-Trap: I do not own these characters, TF2, etc.

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Scout stopped to stare. Here he was, just walking through the base, minding his own business, when he walked into the room the BLUs had dubbed a living room. It wasn't much. It had a couch or two, coffee table, and a dartboard. The Demoman and Pyro were in there as well. And what they were currently doing was the reason Scout paused. They were staring at each other, very intently. Which shouldn't have been possible considering Demo's eye trick should have knocked Pyro out. Curious, Scout asked, "The hell you two doin'?"

"Testin' a theory," Demoman replied, not even turning to look at Scout. He was practically glaring at Pyro, eye narrowed and face screwed up in concentration.

Pyro just stared back. Or at least Scout assumed so. It was hard to tell with the mask and all.

"Uh-huh…" Scout watched their staring contest for another few seconds before asking, "Why hasn't Pyro passed out yet? I thought your eye thing did that to everybody."

"Me too," Blinking, Demoman pulled back with a sigh. "But s' jus' not workin' with Pyro. I dun know why either. Worked on you an' doc."

"Maybe Pyro's just weird," Scout shrugged.

"Thannph yuuu," Pyro said, surely grinning beneath his mask.

"But why?" Demoman scowled. "If it worked on you an' the doc, why not 'im? It doesn't make a lick of sense!"

"Myyph berph ophh muu mumpphh," Pyro said, pointing to his face.

"Hey, yeah," Scout nodded. "He's got the mask coverin' his face an' eyes an' all. Maybe it's 'cause of that your eye thing don't work."

Demoman paused, thinking, "Maybe," he said. "Does that mean it won't work on people with glasses either, though?"

"Yuu dinph eegh tugh Medipphh," Pyro noted.

"Good point," Demoman nodded. "So me eye trick works on people with glasses, but not masks like the firebug here. What about sunglasses, eh? Kinda in-between, right? I should test that."

"Where ya gonna-"

Whistling, Sniper walked into the room.

The other three BLUs turned to stare at him.

"Sniper," Demoman grinned. "Jus' in time, boyo!"

Still whistling, Sniper turned around to walk back out of the room.

"No, come back," Demoman called. "I need yer help!"

The whistling stopped, as did the Sniper. He turned his head a bit to ask, "With wot?"

"Jus' testin' a theory, that's all," Demoman tried to sound nonchalant.

"This theory dangerous?"

"Not at all."

"Gonna cost me anything?"

"No."

"Gonna cause me any pain?"

"It shouldn't."

Sniper let out a sigh before turning around and walking back towards the other three BLUs. "Alright," he frowned. "Wot d'ya need help with?"

"Well, actually I was thinkin', lad," Demoman said. "Ye wear yer sunglasses a lot, don't ya? Even inside an' all?"

Sniper fingered his shades. "Sure do," he shrugged. "They were a gift-" Sniper cut himself off as he fell to the ground, passed out. Demoman had looked him in the eye.

"Well, damn," Demoman stared at the Aussie on the ground. "It did work." He looked up and over to Pyro. "You are just a weird one."

Pyro let out muffled giggles.

"We should prolly wake him up," Scout nudged the Sniper with his foot.

"Hold on a minute there, laddie!" Demoman stopped him. He glanced around the room until his eye fell upon a shaggy rug splayed beneath an even worse looking coffee table. "Got an idea. See the rug? Go drag yer feet on it."

"What?" Scout looked confused.

"Drag yer feet on it."

Scout still looked baffled, but went over to the rug and began to shuffle his feet atop it. "Why am I doin' this?"

"Jus' testin' a theory," Demoman said as Scout finished and walked back over. "Now, just tap 'im on the shoulder."

"Meehyy," Pyro suddenly said. "Waiinph mu miinuuunph-"

But it was too late. Scout leaned over to tap the Sniper on the shoulder. Just as Scout touched Sniper's arm, a large spark of electricity appeared between the two with a loud _zap_. It caused Scout to fall back in surprise and Sniper to bolt up in shock.

"Blimey!"

"Shit!"

Demoman roared with laughter, while Pyro just _tsked_ from beneath his mask.

"The fuck is wrong with you, Demo?" Scout snarled angrily, shaking his hand from his spot on the ground. "Dat fuckin' hurt!"

"I told ya," Demoman said between chuckles. "I was jus' testin' a theory!"

"Well, that's the last bloody theory I'll be helpin' ya with," Sniper growled as he stood up. As he left the room, all he could hear were the Demoman's chuckles and Scout's swears. Hands stuffed in his pockets, Sniper make his way to the kitchen. As he walked into said room, he figured he could-

Sniper stopped.

A headless body stood in front of him.

"Yer bloody kiddin' me," Sniper said as he looked down at the body. "Truckie?"

The body just flailed its arms in response.

"Ugh," Sniper sighed and slapped a hand to his face. Great. Just what he needed, a headless body wondering around the base. "Where's yer head, truckie?"

More flailing.

Sniper just sighed again. "Let's just get ya ta doc's," he muttered as he placed a hand on the body's shoulder and started walking. "We'll leave ya in there an' then go find yer head," he explained as he steered the body to the infirmary. "Doc," Sniper called as the two made walked into the infirmary. "Got an issue here!"

"Hey, Down Under!"

Sniper looked around until he saw Engineer. Or at least his head. It was sitting on a nearby table.

"Ya found mah body!" Engineer went on as Sniper led the body over to the head.

"Yeah," Sniper nodded as he picked up the Texan's head and placed it back on his body. "Wot happened?"

"Don't ask," Engineer grumbled as he head snapped back on. "All I'll say is I didn't think mah body could walk around on it's own like that fer so long."

"Huh."

"Yeah," Engineer went on. "Doc found mah head and was about to go look for the body, but-"

"The doc's here?"

"I think," Engineer frowned. "Doc," he then called. "Ya still there?"

"_Ja_," the Medic's voice called out from some unknown place in the infirmary. "Am I still invisible?"

"Yeah, can't see ya at all," Engineer said as he and Sniper glanced around. "Ya still stuck?"

"_Ja_…"

"Stuck?" Sniper repeated.

"I am shamed to say," Medic voice said. "Zat I am stuck in zhe closet door." Engineer and Sniper both looked towards the door that was the infirmary's closet. It rattled a few times as if something was banging on it. But nothing was. Medic's hand had just gone through it. "My hand vent through zhe door!"

"How'd that happen?" Sniper asked as he and Engineer walked over.

"I vas just going to open zhe door and my hand decided to go right through it! Now I'm stuck!"

"I don't get how that's possible," Engineer shook his head.

"Well, his hand went through a clipboard, remember?"

"Yeah, but-"

"Sorry to interrupt," Medic suddenly snarled. "But stuck in a door, here! At little help vould be appreciated!"

"Oh, yeah," Engineer looked back to the door. "Sorry, doc. Let's see… Where's your other hand?"

Something wacked Engineer in the face and hovered there. "Sorry."

Engineer just shook his head. "S'fine," he said, grabbing the German's forearm. He then pulled. The closet door rattled and rattled as the Engineer tugged, but they didn't need to see the doctor to know he hadn't come lose yet.

"You are going to dislocate my shoulder if you keep pulling like zat!"

"Stretch," Engineer looked at the Aussie. "Hold the door, will ya?"

Sniper placed both hands on the door.

"Alright, I'ma pull again, okay? I don't think it'll hurt you or-" As soon as Engineer pulled though, he fell backwards to the ground. Medic had come lose. Engineer had barely even tugged that time.

Medic suddenly blinked into view, face first on the floor. He turned his head to look at Engineer, who was next to him. "_Danke_," he grumbled. "I haf had it up to here vith zhis invisibility and going through valls thing!" Medic complained as he stood up.

"Couldn't agree more, doc," Engineer agreed as he stood up as well.

"Ugh, I need something for my head," Medic placed a hand on his head and walked over to his desk.

"Hold up, ya got anything I could take too? Head's already poundin' an' the day has barely started," Sniper was quick to follow him.

"_Ja, ja_…"

Engineer should his head. "I'll take mah leave then," he said as he headed for the door. He only heard grumbling in response. Engineer sighed as he shut the door to the infirmary. Everybody was getting real tired of their problems already. They'd barely had them a few days too. Now, Engineer wasn't thrilled about them, that's for sure. Having a head that could fall off any minute wasn't great at all. In fact, it was-

"Look out!"

Engineer turned his head in time to see a baseball flying towards him. Actually, it was flying right towards his face. And once it connected to his face, his head fell right off his shoulders. _Again._ As his head landed on the ground, Engineer couldn't help but swear, "Goddamn it!"

"_Ohmygod_," Scout came running down the hall and screeched to a stop next to the Texan. "Engie, sorry! I, err…" Scout stared.

"Don't just stare, son," Engineer snapped. "Mah head goes on mah shoulders."

"Oh god," Scout hesitated, but eventually he picked up Engineer's head. "_Ewewewewew_," Scout chanted as he placed the Texan's head back on his shoulders. "There, all better. _Ew_."

Engineer rubbed his neck. "Hardly "all better"," he said. "What 'cha runnin' through the base like that for? You could-"

Suddenly, running almost as fast as Scout, Demoman rocketed past them, yelling, "I was jus' testin' a theory!"

Scout and Engineer stared for just a moment because Demo was soon out of sight after a second. Who knew he could run that fast? Soldier apparently didn't because he was doing a terrible job of keeping up with his target- err, with Demoman. "Maggot! Get back here and take it like a man!" Soldier yelled as he tried to keep up. He only paused when he caught sight of the Scout. "Scout!"

"M'kay, yeah," Scout immediately dove behind Engineer, shielding himself from Soldier. "Engie, would ya mind tellin' Solly not ta kill me? Please? Before he, ya know, tries ta fuckin' kill me?"

"I'll do worse than kill you, boy!" Soldier threatened as he marched up to the two.

"Now, Sol," Engineer tried to calm the other before he pushed him aside to strangle the Bostonian. "I'm sure whatever Scout did can be forgiven-"

"Forgiven my ass, Engie," Soldier pointed an accusing finger to Scout. "This little maggot formed an alliance with the Scottish cyclops to-"

"Alliance?" Scout peeked from behind Engineer. "The guy jus' said he needed help with testin' a theory!"

"Theory my ass!"

"I didn't know it'd do that to yer bones!"

"I highly doubt that!"

"I didn't know!" Scout repeated. "S'not my fault! S'more of Demo's fault than mine!"

"Now, Scout," Engineer glanced at the runner. "I haven't heard the full story yet, but it sounds like both you and-"

"Oh, I'll be sure to make the cyclops to pay for what he did," Soldier spat. "Right after I'm done with you!"

Scout gave a shriek as the Soldier lunged at him. Clutching the back of Engineer's overalls like a life support, Scout ducked out of Soldier's grasp. Soldier attempted numerous times to grab Scout and strangle him, but the runner kept ducking out of his way as he hid behind Engineer, who was unfortunately and uncomfortably caught between the two. The struggle went on for a few heated seconds, before it came to a stop. And the only reason it came to a stop was because of Engineer. Not because he yelled or punched someone though. No, his head just fell off again during the struggle. Again. For, like, the _third time_ in twenty minutes.

Both Scout and Soldier immediately froze as Engineer's head tumbled to the ground.

They both then cringed as the Engineer proceeded to yell, "Damn it dag-nabbit sonuvabitch…!" The scream eventually turned into a long, drawn out sigh. "I want to be normal again," Engineer muttered. "That's it. We're callin' the Administrator again."

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A/N: Poor Engie.

What? A _filler_? This chapter? How absurd. I can assure you I have no idea what you're talking about.

Up Next: The BLUs briefly wonder how their problems came to be and someone makes a deal with the devil!


	7. The Devil Went Down to Georgia

Pit-Trap: I do not own these characters, TF2, etc.

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The BLUs were moping. All of them. Not that it could really be helped. Though the first day they had fought the REDs with their ailments went well (they had beat them single-handedly), the next few days had not gone as well. The REDs had crushed them. You couldn't blame the BLUs for contacting the Administrator for a _second _time and wondering if she had found any cures yet. It hadn't shocked them too much to find the Administrator still hadn't found any cures though. Or that she just said the same things: she needed more time, be patience, and such. The BLUs would just have to live with it for now.

"I suppose the Administrator was right," Engineer suddenly said aloud. He was in the kitchen, sitting at the table with a bottle of booze in front of him. A few of his teammates had joined him in the kitchen as well. The video conference he had called for with the Administrator had ended all but a few minutes ago. "I mean, 'bout it takin' time ta find cures for us an' all."

"Zhat doesn't mean we 'ave to enjoy zhe time eet takes," Spy said from his spot further down the table. He had a glass of wine next to him and was shuffling a stack of cards, an odd habit of his.

"Yeah," Engineer let out a dry chuckle. "You're right there, pardner."

"Vell, you are right about it taking time, Engineer," Medic noted from his seat beside the Engineer. He was going over the notes he had made during everyone's examinations. He had made copies for himself before sending them to the Administrator, of course. "But you know vhat I think vould speed up zhe process of finding cures?"

"What?"

"Knowing how ve all came to be like zhis."

Spy stopped shuffling. "Zhat 'as been a question on my mind since day one, _docteur_," he took a drink from his glass.

Medic nodded. "Ve haf all thought about it, but not said anything about it," he frowned. "I, like zhe Administrator, haf been searching for cures for our problems as vell. But it vould be so much easier if I knew _how _itall happened! For instance, if someone drank bad milk, I vould know how zhey got a stomach ache and know how to cure zhem. I do not know how ve haf all obtained zhese problems, and zherefore do not know to fix us!"

"How?" Engineer muttered to himself. "That sure is the million dollar question right there." He crossed his arms and looked towards the ceiling. "Let's think 'bout this: we just moved here to Teufort on Monday and were scheduled to fight the REDs the very next day. It had to have happened sometime between Monday night an' Tuesday morning. Could someone have snuck into the base and done this to us?"

"Are you thinking zhe REDs could haf done this to us?" Medic asked.

Engineer shrugged. "It's a possibility," he said. "I find it unlikely though. They moved into their base the same day as us. If they were as busy as we were movin' in, how would they find the time?"

"Zhen you are suggesting someone else did zhis? Someone other zhan zhe REDs?" Spy looked over at the Engineer.

"I suppose," Engineer frowned. "But what about the Alram-O-Tron 5000? It shoulda picked up any intruders, RED or not!"

"Eet, like any other piece of machinery, can be disabled," Spy began to deal out cards with a thoughtful look on his face. "But tell me, who could also easily disable zhe Alarm-O-Tron 5000?"

"…Its creator?"

"_Or_," Spy looked towards the Medic and Engineer, eyes narrowed. "Zhe one who gave eet to us."

There was a pregnant pause.

"You think zhe Administrator did zhis to us?" Medic finally asked, eyebrows raised.

"Just like zhe REDs, eet is a very real possibility," Spy shrugged, focused on gathering up his cards again and re-shuffling them.

"But-"

"Guys!" Scout suddenly burst into the kitchen, dragging the Sniper behind him. "Ya gotta see what Snipes can do! It's awesome!" He dragged the man to the kitchen table and turned towards him. "C'mon, Snipes, do it!" he held a light bulb out to the Aussie.

The other three BLUs watched expectantly, miffed they had been interrupted, but curious as well.

After staring at the light bulb for a couple seconds, Sniper sighed. "Fine, fine," he snatched the light bulb away from the runner and held it in front of himself. A second later it lit up.

Engineer raised his eyebrows. "That's somethin' else."

"Now you are good something other zhan sniping," Spy smirked.

"Wot?"

"Being a flashlight."

Sniper scowled. "Screw you, spook," he spat, thrusting the light bulb back to Scout. It went out as soon as he let go. He stalked over to the fridge and grabbed his own bottle of booze. He then sat next the Engineer, still scowling.

Scout walked around the table and sat across from Spy, who immediately started dealing cards to him. "So, what 'cha guys up to?"

"Trying to figure out how ve came to be like zhis," Medic answered.

"Ya notice anything off 'bout Monday night, son?" Engineer asked Scout.

"Nah, seemed normal. 'side from waking up with wings and stuff the next morning."

"Huh. What 'bout you, stretch?"

Sniper looked at the bottle in his hands. "Can't say much either. Other than that I slept inside the base 'stead of the camper van," he shrugged before taking a swig from his bottle.

"So no one was awake ta notice anything that night?" Engineer growled. "Maybe we ought to take turns with a night watch or somethin'…"

"I am usually a light sleeper," Spy noted as he stared at the cards in his hands. He could never let his guard down, being a spy and all, but still, he had to sleep. "But zhat night I slept oddly well. I went to bed sometime after midnight. I noticed nothing odd about zhe base before I turned in."

"So ve are still on square one?" Medic shook his head. "Only suspects and no evidence to zhere being any intruders in zhe base?"

"Wait," Scout looked up from his cards. "The day we discovered our, err, issues, didn't we find a busted lock on one of the base's doors or somethin'?"

"Yeah," Engineer nodded, but looked doubtful. "I fixed it after I found it. But this place is pretty much fallin' apart, it had prolly been busted a while. And besides, the Alarm-O-Tron 5000 woulda picked up on an intruder if they broke a lock!"

"If eet 'adn't already been disabled," Spy reminded him again with a smirk.

"Wot's that supposed ta mean?" Sniper raised an eyebrow towards the Spy.

"Zhe Spy thinks zhe Administrator did zhis to us," Medic answered, staring down at his notes.

Sniper looked thoughtful for a moment. "Can't say I'd be too surprised if the sheila did," he said.

"Vhat is zat supposed to mean?" Medic looked up and at Sniper.

"'m just sayin'," Sniper shrugged. "The lady doesn't appear to be trustworthy."

"She's got a know-it-all air to her, ya know?" Scout added, wings shuddering. He kept his gaze on the cards in his hands. "Like she knows somethin' you don't and she ain't gonna tell ya."

"I have ta agree," Engineer eventually said. "She may be mah boss, but that don't mean I trust her completely." The Texan looked over to Spy, who was engrossed in his card game with Scout. "What 'cha gotta say 'bout her Spy? Got any dirt on her?"

Spy's face hardened. "Not much, I'm afraid," he answered, tearing his gaze from his cards. "I will admit, I 'ad never 'eard of 'er until she offered me zhe job. After zhat, I tried to get as much information on 'er as I could." His face turned to a scowl. "She is good, I'll give 'er zhat. I got little to none." Spy's scowl fell upon his cards. He tossed them to the table a moment later. "I'll be 'onest 'ere: I 'ave no clue if she did zhis to us. She could very well 'ave. She could 'ave not done it either. She is searching for a cure for us, after all."

"So she says," Scout dropped his cards as well.

"Exactly," Spy picked up his glass of wine and stared at it for a long moment. He then downed it in one gulp. "Like she and zhe good _docteur_ said, I'm afraid all we can do now is wait."

"But for how long?" Engineer sighed.

"Zhat is another good question," Spy set his glass down and moved to pick up the cards. He started shuffling them again. "We are an impatient bunch. We won't be content for long, and zhe Administrator knows zhis. Soon enough, we will act instead of wait."

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"Miss Pauling, tell me again why we're here." It wasn't a question. Though the Administrator's statement was directed towards her assistant, her gaze was on the building in front of her. Mann Manor. Oh, how she hated coming here. Well, she hated going to _any_ of the places her mercenaries fought, but Mann Manor was one of the worst (It was seconded only by Double Cross).

"Um," Miss Pauling stood a couple feet behind the Administrator, clipboard in hand. "You said we are to have a meeting with someone, ma'am."

"We are," the Administrator confirmed. "Do you know who we're having a meeting with, Miss Pauling?"

"You didn't say specifically, ma'am, but based on our location I have a faint idea," Miss Pauling answered.

"Well your idea's about to become a reality," the Administrator sighed. "Because here comes the second party."

"Wh-"

"Miss Pauling!"

Miss Pauling tried to turn towards the sound of her name being called, but she was scooped up into two arms before she could fully turn around. She couldn't help but let out a small shriek and drop her clipboard. Said shriek quickly turned into a gasp. "Mr. Horsemann," she wheezed, crushed by the two arms squeezing her in a hug. "T-this is very unprofessional! Please put me down."

"But, Miss P," the Horseless Headless Horsemann's face turned to one of sadness. "I missed you so much! You never come to visit or anything!"

"Put me down, Mr. Horsemann," Miss Pauling repeated.

"Fine," the Horseless Headless Horsemann set the woman down.

Miss Pauling immediately straightened her clothes and picked her clipboard up. "Thank you, Mr. Horsemann," she nodded at him.

"Horsemann," The Administrator said before he could reply to Miss Pauling. "You have much to explain."

"Hi, Helen!"

The Administrator resisted the urge to gag. "Do _not_ sound so formal with me, Horsemann," she spat.

"Aw, you sound so mad," the Horseless Headless Horsemann smiled. "What could possible be wrong with you?"

"You know, you pathetic pile of bones!" The Administrator seethed. "You messed with _my_ mercenaries!"

"Who, me?" The Horseless Headless Horseman pretended to look thoughtful. "I don't recall ever doing such a thing! Well, aside from when I usually kill them. But I thought I was allowed to do that?"

The Administrator didn't bother to answer his question. "Miss Pauling," she said instead. "The photographs."

"Of course," Miss Pauling detached a file from her clipboard and promptly opened it. It had several photographs inside. She held out several pictures to the Horseless Headless Horsemann. "These were taken from the security camera at Teufort Monday night."

The Horselss Headless stared at several photographs of himself walking outside of the BLU base. "My, what handsome fellow he is!" he grinned at the two women.

"Horsemann," the Administrator narrowed her eyes.

"Alright, alright," he tossed his hands into the air. "I was snooping around Teufort, so what?"

"_Horsemann._"

"Alright, alright!" "The Horseless Headless Horsemann frowned and crossed his arms. "So I did _a few_ things to the BLU team…"

"You turned my mercenaries into freaks!"

The Horseless Headless Horsemann couldn't help but chuckle. "Okay. Yeah, I did. What did you think of what I did to the Spy? Pretty awesome, huh?"

"_Horsemann!_"

"What?"

"I give you a whole map to yourself and the liberty to kill my mercenaries as much as you please," the Administrator took a dangerous step towards the monster. "And this is how you repay me? You're treading in dangerous waters. I created you and I can destroy you, you know."

"Well, it just gets _so_ _boring_ when their not fighting here at the manor!" The Horseless Headless Horsemann whined. "I get so tired of talking to pumpkins and smashing them!" he snapped his fingers and a pumpkin appeared a couple feet away from him in a poof of purple smoke. He snapped his fingers again and his axe seemingly fell from the sky and into his hands. He then brought it over his head and down upon the pumpkin. It crumbled into a gushing mess.

Miss Pauling flinched. The Administrator didn't. She simply wiped a piece of stray pumpkin from her face without any emotion present on her face.

"That gets real boring real fast!" The Horseless Headless Horsemann turned back to the women.

"That doesn't give you the right to mess with my mercenaries," the Administrator replied.

The Horseless Headless Horsemann stared at the woman for a moment before eventually sighing. "Yeah, yeah. I'll turn them bac-"

"No."

Miss Pauling and the Horseless Headless Horsemann snapped their heads to stare at the woman.

"Though I'm furious at you for doing something like that to my men without my permission, I'll let it slide this once," she went on. "Their conditions fascinate me. I want you to do the exact same thing to the RED team."

"_What?_" Both Miss Pauling and the Horseless Headless Horsemann gaped.

"Of course you are to turn them all back to normal," the Administrator stared at her nails. "I just want both teams to fight once in these conditions. After that, they need to be normal again. And you will never do anything like this to them again. Is that understood?" She snapped her head up to fasten the monster with a heated look.

The Horseless Headless Horsemann gaped at the woman for another moment. He eventually snapped his mouth shut. "I don't know," he suddenly said, shrugging. "I don't think I've really learned my lesson after this… I might do something like this again in the future…"

"My death threat didn't really sway you before, did it?"

"Not really, no."

"Alright," the Administrator sighed. "Miss Pauling, take notes," She said to her assistant before turning back to the monster. "What is it you want?"

"Oh," the Horseless Headless Horsemann grinned. "I have a few ideas…"

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A/N: Um. I meant to put this chapter up on Halloween. Just'cause it was Halloween and all. But then, y'know. Halloween happened and stuff. It's my favorite holiday. I was too busy celebrating it and such. So I was then gonna put it up the day after Halloween. But TF2's Halloween event happened and successfully distracted me. I love Mann Manor and Harvest Event. Best maps _evar. _Now please excuse me as I go play on said maps instead of working on this story more.

Up Next: Scout and Engineer get into a bit of trouble, but no worries: it's Spy to the rescue! Too bad there's no time to celebrate when the BLUs learn something unpleasant. 


	8. Creepin'

Pit-Trap: I do not own these characters, TF2, etc.

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"Shit!"

"Next time, ya might wanna try ta not run into the wall there, son."

"_No_," Scout replied sarcastically, lifting his head up to glare at Engineer. "I never thought 'bout that."

Engineer chuckled from his spot on a wooden crate. "Just sayin'."

Both Scout and Engineer were currently outside of the BLU base. They didn't usually hang outside of the base, especially during a ceasefire. The ceasefire was another strange thing in itself. The BLUs _were_ scheduled to fight the REDs again today, but the Administrator had canceled it for the day. That was a rarity. With nothing to do for most of the day, the BLUs scattered themselves around the base to do their own things, which is why Engineer and Scout were currently outside of the base.

Almost nobody, RED or BLU, did this - even during ceasefires. Each team, of course, had to stay on their respective sides of Teufort, but the bridge connecting the two bases was neutral ground. Still, being out in open like this unnerved some of the mercenaries. After spending so much time fighting on Teufort, it was hard not to feel like so. They usually preferred to stay _inside_ their base. That didn't seem to stop Scout and Engineer from coming outside.

Scout was actually practicing his flying skills. He might as well use the wings since he had them. Like Engineer had said the day before, he could use them to his advantage. It still wasn't very easy. He had somehow managed to fly himself up on the roof above the BLU battlements. A bit out of breath, Scout took in the view. "I can see why Snipes likes being so high an' stuff," he called down to Engineer. "View's awesome up here, man!"

"I bet!" Engineer shouted back. "Jus' try not ta fall, though! Don't wanna have ta get Medic ta fix that…"

"What?" Scout jumped off the roof and floated down, wings fluttering. "I'll have ya know, I am now in perfect control of these wings!" Said wings suddenly stopped beating a few feet too high from the ground and Scout landed rather roughly on the dirt.

"Yeah," Engineer frowned. "Perfect control."

"Alright, not perfect _yet_," Scout dusted himself off. "It's a work in progress!"

"Yeah, so is this," Engineer held up Scout's headset, which he was currently fixing. "Ya really busted 'em up this time! What 'cha do to 'em?"

"Me? If anythin', it was the RED Demoman and Spy's fault! Not mine!"

Engineer sighed. "I won't ask," he shook his head. It was a good thing Scout had more than one pair of headsets. Otherwise, the Texan would be fixing them just about after every battle!

Scout just grinned and shrugged. He turned to jog a few feet away before jumping back into the air. Wings beating, he flew up higher and higher until he landed atop the bridge connecting the two bases. He began to walk across it.

Engineer looked up to see where Scout had landed. "Scout," he called. "I wouldn't be up there if I were you."

"Aw, ya worry too much, Engie," Scout replied. "I'm up here all the time, 'member?"

"An' what if a RED saw ya right 'bout now?"

"It's a ceasefire!" Scout rolled his eyes.

"Jus' be careful up there!"

"Yes, ma!"

Now it was Engineer's turn to roll his eyes. Shaking his head, he went back to working on the headset.

Scout continued walking along the top of the bridge. He walked all the way to the end, as close to the RED base as he could get. He stared at the enemy battlements for a moment before childishly sticking his tongue out at the enemy base. Scout then turned around and walked back towards his base. "Hey, Engine," he called. "Why do ya think-" Scout was interrupted by his own yelp. His foot slipped, causing him to lose his balance and tumble off the bridge rooftop and into the waters below.

As soon as Engineer heard the splash, he looked up. He sighed. Throwing the headset down, he got up and walked over to the edge of the water just in time to see Scout pop his head out from the water, coughing and complaining.

"J-Jesus!" Scout shouted. "Freakin' gross!"

"What happened ta usin' those wings of yours?" Engineer looked down at the runner.

"Shut up!" Scout scowled at him as he treaded water. "I was surprised! I freakin' tripped!"

"I told ya ta be careful," Engineer said smugly.

"Shut up!" Scout repeated. His wings were half submerged in the water and he tried flapping them. The motion sent water droplets everywhere. Too wet to fly. Damn it. "Ah, stupid wings!"

"C'mon, son," Engineer leaned over the edge, offering a hand. "Let's get ya outta the water before ya get sick or somethin'."

Scout swam over, grumbling to himself about the stupid wings upon his back. As he got closer to the edge, he reached a hand up to grab the Engineer's. The strong Texan began to lift him out of the water easily. Scout put a hand on the ledge and began to pull himself up as well, but suddenly stopped. Engineer suddenly found he couldn't pull the runner up any further either. "Engie," Scout said a bit hesitantly. "I think something's got my foot."

"Ah, it's prolly just a plant or somethin'," Engineer grunted as he tried to pull the Scout up again.

Scout looked down at the water. It had actually rained the night before, so the water was a bit murky, more so than usual (it wasn't exactly the cleanest of water either). He then tried to tug his foot away from whatever plant material had decided to grab his foot.

Whatever had grabbed his foot then tugged back.

Before Scout had a chance to yell, a dull red tentacle broke the surface of the water, wrapped around his torso, and pulled him back down and under the water.

Engineer gave a surprised yell as the runner was pulled back in. "Scout!" he jumped up, frantically scanning the water. It rippled a bit before evening out. Silence followed.

Then, closer to the RED sewer entrance, the water started to part. Two figures rose from the water. The first was the RED Spy. He had the second figure, Scout, held against him, knife to the boy's throat. Engineer was relived to hear the runner to start to cough and sputter. He was alright. But his relief soon turned to panic for more than one reason. One, the RED held a knife to the Scout's throat. Two, the RED had tentacles that he was currently constricting Scout with. _Tentacles._ Just like the BLU Spy! How was that possible? Wh-

Engineer didn't have time to think about that or to stop to stare. He suddenly snapped into action after realizing it. He pulled his pistol from his belt and pointed it the RED. He was pretty sure he had a good aim. If he was lucky, he might be able to shoot the Spy in the head or shoulder. Then perhaps Scout could escape the RED's grasp. Engineer would try negotiating first though. "Spah," he called to the enemy. "Let 'im go right now!"

"I think not," the RED Spy replied. He pulled his knife back, gave it a flashy twirl, and brought it back to Scout's neck. "I think eet would be in your best interest to drop zhe weapon."

Engineer lowered his gun, but didn't drop it. He smirked. "Aw, please," he shook his head. "You forget about respawn there, spookie? Go ahead, kill 'im. The boy'll jus' respawn anyway."

"Kill 'im?" Now the RED smirked. "Who said anything about killing 'im?"

Engineer's smirk turned to a frown.

"No," The RED Spy went on. "I won't kill 'im. I'll take 'im back to my base, ask 'im a few questions we 'ave. Like 'ow 'e got zhose wings of 'is and 'ow zhe rest of your team came to be… Perhaps zhen I will be able to find out what 'appened to my team." A few tentacles wrapped around Scout moved, tightening their hold on the runner, who gave a gasp. "If 'e doesn't answer, well, I suppose I'll just 'ave to _persuade_ 'im. Killing 'im wouldn't be very useful, _oui_?"

Engineer didn't like the way _persuade _sounded. It didn't sound good at all. "It's a ceasefire, ya rat," he tried instead. "Let 'im go!"

"I don't think so. And besides, it was zhe boy's own fault," the Spy said. "'e was trespassing on our side of zhe bridge." The RED Spy motioned with a tentacle to his base behind him.

"He was no where near your side," Engineer spat. "'sides, the water and bridge are both neutral grounds!" He reminded the other harshly.

"Hmm, are zhey?" the enemy Spy smirked before giving a careless shrug. "No matter. I will return your Scout later. No need to worry, toymaker."

That rather sinister grin on the RED Spy's face told Engineer otherwise. "If ya don't drop Scout right now, ya filthy rat, so help me, I'll-"

The water suddenly exploded near the BLU sewer entrance, interrupting Engineer. The water stirred violently as whatever caused the water to explode like that rocketed towards the RED Spy and Scout. With a huge splash, the RED Spy and Scout suddenly disappeared under the water again.

Churning water and bubbles was all Engineer could see after that. What in Sam Hell had happened? Something had-

A dull blue tentacle rose from the water for a brief moment, before slamming back into the water with a hard smack and sinking back beneath the waves. The BLU Spy.

Engineer didn't know whether to sigh in relief or panic some more. Hopefully, the Spy was rescuing Scout and kicking the RED's ass. Or they were both drowning. Engineer couldn't really tell. The water was churning too much. He wondered how long they'd both be able to hold their breath… "Spah?" Engineer yelled out, hoping his fellow BLUs could hear him beneath the churning waves. "Scout?"

The Engineer only reply was a yell from Scout as he was flung above the surface and then back into the water.

"Scout!"

Scout resurfaced a moment later, free of any tentacles. He gave a couple of coughs as he treaded water.

"Get over here, son!" Engineer put his gun away. He bent over the edge of the water again, hand held out.

Scout gave no reply as he slowly swam over to the Texan. This time when he reached the edge of the water, Engineer easily pulled him out of the water. As soon as he hit dry land, Scout rolled over onto his back, where he then lay still.

"Scout, ya alright?" Engineer looked at the other. Pale and shaking slightly. That can't be good. He wasn't moving much either. "Scout, c'mon... Here, sit up." The Texan quickly sat the Bostonian up. When Scout still did nothing, he gave the runner's back a few rough pats.

Scout suddenly let out a violent series of coughs and finally hacked up some water. "S-shit," he croaked before his body was racked with more coughs.

"There, that's better," Engineer smiled in relief. "Feel alright?"

"'m fine," Scout replied, voice shaky. "Jus' swallowed tons-a water." He gave a few more coughs before asking, "Where's Spy?"

"Uh," Engineer's relieved smile fell. "Good question." He stood back up to glance down beneath the bridge and into the sewer waters. The water was still churning violently. The two spies were still dueling it out beneath the waves. "Spah!" Engineer yelled, hoping the man could hear him beneath the waves. "Get outta there! Scout's fine now!"

And just like that the churning water stopped. Had his fellow BLU heard him? Engineer saw something climb out of the water and into the RED sewers. It was the RED Spy, obviously. His back was turned to the BLU Engineer and Scout. He walked further into the sewers without so much as a glance back. He was walking funny, almost like he had a limp. Either he wasn't used to the tentacles yet or he was injured. Engineer hoped it was the latter. But where was their Spy?

As Engineer scanned the now calm waters, Scout walked up next to him, soaking wet. "Where'd they go?"

"The RED Spy limped away to his base," Engineer snorted. "Spah must-a did a number on 'im."

"Where's he then?"

Engineer glanced to the sewers. "My guess is the sewers, our side," He turned around and started jogging away. "C'mon, let's go find him!"

Scout was quick to follow.

It wasn't too hard to find the Spy. He was indeed still in the sewers. He was uncloaked, leaning against a wall. "Zhat Red," Spy spat when Engineer and Scout approached. "Owes me a new suit!" The suit top he currently wore had a number of small rips on it. Each rip led to a bleeding wound. A few tentacles had cuts. His balaclava had an especially long rip on it as well. It was bleeding more so than the others.

"Ya look terrible," Engineer gaped.

"Why thank you," Spy snapped. "But I assure you zhat zhe RED Spy looks much worse zhan myself."

Scout snorted. "I would hope so," he said, wings shuddering.

Spy narrowed his eyes at the runner and was about to say something, but Engineer cut in before he could. "Scout," he said. "Go get Medic. Yer both gonna need him."

Scout glanced at Spy and then back to Engineer, before running off and back into the base.

"Now," Engineer gave Spy a sharp glare from beneath his goggles. "What in Sam Hell were you thinkin'? You both could have drowned!"

"I would 'ave taken zhe RED down with me," Spy scowled. "And eet was clear you weren't going to do anything very soon!"

"What was I supposed ta do?" Engineer snapped. "Jump in the water and go swim after 'em?"

"Well you could 'ave done something more useful zhan just _standing_ there!" Spy spat. He suddenly held out his arm and shook it. A second later, two knives fell from his sleeve and into the ankle-high water. A tentacle grabbed them both and placed them into Spy's hand. He slipped them into an inside pocket of his sport coat.

"Ya didn't even have a gun with ya, did ya?" Engineer crossed his arm, watching the other.

"None of your business."

"That's a yes, then," Engineer rolled his eyes. "What were you thinkin'?"

Spy was silent for a moment. "I wasn't," he admitted. "I came down for a smoke, saw zhe RED Spy and Scout in zhe water, you just _standing there_, and…" Spy trailed off with a shrug. "I acted." It was odd of him. Acting without thinking like that. He usually always had a plan before jumping into things. He always looked before he leaped. He was the BLU Spy, after all. But seeing as what the RED Spy was going to do with Scout, he clearly didn't have much time to do that.

"Well," Engineer just sighed. He turned around at the sound of approaching footsteps. "I'm sure Scout'll thank ya for that."

Scout was running towards them with Medic close behind.

"'e better," Spy said to the Texan, narrowing his eyes at the two approached.

"_Mein Gott_," Medic breathed as he stopped next to the Engineer. "Vhat is going on here?" He stared at the two soaking wet mercenaries.

"Ask zhe rabbit," Spy crossed his arms.

"That supposed to mean somethin'?" Scout glared at his savior.

"Well, it's clearly all your fault zhis 'appened," Spy motioned to himself and Scout.

"What? No, it ain't!" Scout defended himself. "How the hell was I supposed to know the RED Spy was in the water?"

"RED Spy in zhe water?" Medic interrupted. "Zhe sewer water?"

"Yeah."

"Vhat vas he doing in zhere?"

"He has tentacles now, jus' like Spy," Scout pointed at the balaclava-clad man before continuing. "Maybe he wanted to go for a swim, I dunno, but he was there! Me an' Engie were jus' hangin' out of the base. I was flyin' an'… pretty much fell in the water." Scout admitted unhappily. "The RED Spy, uh, was jus' kinda able to grab me after that."

"And I was kind enough to rescue 'im," Spy put in.

"Fuck you," Scout said simply.

"Watch it," Spy glared at the Bostonian. "If eet wasn't for me you could 'ave drowned or worse. Who knows what zhe REDs would 'ave done to you."

"Oh, my fuckin' hero," Scout rolled his eyes. "Ya couldn't ev-"

"Vould you two stop it!" Medic shouted at the two. They both fell silent, glaring at one another. "You are missing zhe point here!"

"Point?" Engineer piped up.

"Scout said zhe RED Spy has tentacles now, just like our Spy," Medic clarified. "If he has zhose, vhat do you suppose zhe rest of his team has as well?"

Realization dawned on all of their faces. Scout's eyes widened, while Engineer shook his head. Spy muttered something in French under his breath.

"Ve need to tell zhe rest of zhe team about zhis," Medic sighed. "But first, I vant to take care of zhe two of you." He glanced at his two wet teammates. "Scout, shower first. I don't vant you getting hypothermia. Spy, I need to disinfect all zhose vounds before I heal zhem vith zhe Medi Gun. Engineer, vould you mind informing zhe team?"

"I would say it'd be mah pleasure," Engineer frowned. "But somethin' tells me this won't be somethin' to pleasurable to tell 'em."

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"Miss Pauling," The Soldier's voice was strained as he spoke. He was trying to keep in anger in check as he spoke to the woman on the other side of the video conference. "Though I'd usually rather speak to you than the Administrator any day, I do not want to right now! I demand to see the Administrator!"

The BLU team was not happy. After hearing what had happened with the Scout, Engineer, and Spy, they had good reasons not to be. The Medic's point was more than plausible. If the RED Spy had a tentacle problem, the rest of his team has to have ailments just like him, just like the BLUs They didn't know if the Administrator did it or not, but they knew she was keeping something from them. They had to confront her about this. They had to take some sort of action. The entire team gathered in the infirmary for a video conference. But it was not going as planned. Instead of getting the Administrator in a conference, they got Miss Pauling. And she wasn't being too helpful either.

"I'm sorry, Solider," Miss Pauling kept a straight face from her side. "But you can't speak to her. I'm afraid the Administrator is very busy at the moment."

"Busy doing what?" Soldier snapped. "Turning the rest of the RED team into freaks?"

Miss Pauling wasn't able to hide the brief look of shock that past over her face. She quickly composed herself. "I'm afraid I don't know what you mean."

"The RED Spy has somehow acquired tentacles, just like ours, and you don't know what I mean?" Soldier scowled. "Pardon my language, ma'am, but that's a load of bullshit! I demand to speak with her! She's keeping something from us and, damn it, we're gonna find out what it is!"

Miss Pauling picked up a file, opened it, and scanned it. She threw it down a moment later. "Ah, well," she sighed. "The Administrator knew this would happen…" she stared at the angry men through her side of the screen. "I am to give you your instructions then."

"Instructions?"

"Yes," Miss Pauling straightened up. "The ceasefire will end tomorrow and you are to fight the REDs as you are scheduled to."

"Are you crazy? If you think we're going to fight the REDs now, you-"

"I didn't finish, Soldier," Miss Pauling interrupted. "You are to fight the REDs tomorrow, as you are scheduled to do so and in your current conditions. Should you fight, cures will be given to you all afterwards."

That hit the BLUs like a ton of rocks. Cures? Cures to fix their wings, detachable heads, bones, and all that?

"That's what's she's hiding, isn't it?" Soldier growled. "She's already found the cure to our problems and she's refusing to give them to us. Well, then! We refuse to fight! We'll take our cures _first_, then we'll fight!"

"The Administrator knew you'd say that as well," Miss Pauling sighed. "Very well. The ceasefire will continue until you agree to fight. No cures will be administrated either."

"Now that we know she has cures, you can't seriously think she can keep them from us, do you?"

"Can't she?" Miss Pauling's voice was oddly cold, far from her usually chipper, yet uncertain tone. Warning bells rang in all of the BLU's ears.

Soldier paused. He glanced away from the monitor and to the rest of his team. Sniper was scowling from his chair. Heavy looked just as displeased. Spy's eyes were narrowed. Pyro gave nothing away, while Scout's face gave everything away. Medic just sighed. Demoman tried not to sneer. All the team's faces had the same unhappy look, Soldier noticed as he glanced at them all. His gaze stopped on the Engineer's.

Engineer was shaking his head. He looked over at Soldier a moment later. "It can't hurt ta fight like this one more day," he eventually said. "If it means we get fixed, I say we do it."

Soldier nodded after a long moment. He looked to the rest of his team again. Scout shrugged, which Pyro copied. Spy simply pulled out a cigarette. Sniper and Heavy's scowls melted into blank looks accompanied by nods. Medic nodded as well. Demoman took a swig of some booze. "Fine," Soldier spat as he looked back up at the monitor. "We'll fight."

"Very good," Miss Pauling smiled relief. "You are to disregard anything unusual about the RED team as you fight. After-"

"So they do have problems like us then?"

"I cannot answer that," Miss Pauling frowned. "Just fight like it was any other day. After tomorrow's battle, you will receive instructions on how and where you are to receive your cures. Is that all clear?"

"Crystal."

"Thank you, gentlemen," Miss Pauling said before the monitor went blank, signaling the end of the video conference.

The entire BLU team let out a disappointed sigh as they dispersed.

"I suppose it won't be too bad," Demoman said to the Pyro as they walked out of the infirmary. "Least will get fixed."

"Mrr mrrph," Pyro replied.

Soldier stalked out of the infirmary, muttering something about needing a drink. The Engineer and Sniper were quick to follow him.

As Scout left the infirmary, he failed to notice Spy follow him. He only noticed when Spy asked, "I figured you would be sick of any type of liquid after today."

"Huh?" Scout looked at Spy and then down at the soda in his hands. "Not really. Got the taste of sewer water stuck in my mouth." He was too tired to yell at the guy for being an asshole and all earlier.

"You're telling me."

Scout tried not to flinch. Alright, alright, so many he did owe the Spy a bit of thanks for saving his ass… "We're even now," was what he said instead.

"What?"

"The other day, I tried to help ya kill a RED," Scout reminded him. "But they wouldn't come down to the sewers, 'member?"

Ah. That. "Yes," Spy frowned. "You _tried_."

"But you owed me," Scout insisted. "An' since ya helped me today, we're even now."

Spy paused, glancing down at the runner. "Fair enough," he said as he walked along side the Bostonian. "But I must say: nothing is fair about our current situation."

"You're tellin' me."

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A/N: Ngk ;A; Guys, I am so sorry. I suck at updating this story. Right now I'm hoping to finish it at least before December. That's real sad. But thanks to all you lovely people out there who actually still follow and read this story. Seriously. Y'all are awesome.

Up Next: It's RED vs. BLU, freak version!


	9. Kick in the Teeth

Pit-Trap: I do not own these characters, TF2, etc.

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"I wouldn't recommend coming into zhe sewers," the BLU Spy's voice came over the BLU team's radio system.

"Why not?" Soldier response came quickly.

"I've got a pretty good guess," Engineer said into the system with a sigh.

"Zhe RED Spy seems to like eet down 'ere as well," Spy sighed. "Avoid zhe sewers as much as possible."

"Hey, hey," Scout's voice interrupted. "Can't I least come down there an' bash him in the head a few times? As payment for yesterday?"

"No," Engineer and Spy replied at the same time.

The fight was on. RED vs. BLU, freak vs. freak. And it was going surprisingly well for the BLU team. The RED team had only obtained their ailments a day ago and they weren't used to them yet. The BLUs were able to use that to their advantage. Maybe this day of fighting wouldn't be as bad as they thought… Scout certainly thought so. He had run into the RED Scout twice and kicked his ass easily! He was trying to fly when Scout saw him. Both times, however, Scout found great glee in shooting him out of the sky.

Feeling a bit cocky, Scout ran out of his resupply room and to their battlements. It wasn't until he jumped on the bridge that he heard Sniper's warning, "Scout, watch it!"

"Huh?"

Scout was going to turn back to look at Sniper, but then he caught sight of the RED Sniper on the other side of the RED battlements, aiming at him with his Huntsman. Shit. Scout sped up, but it wasn't much use. The RED fired and an arrow that all too quickly tore across the skin on his arm. Scout cried out in pain and jumped to the right. Not the best choice. He dropped off the bridge and landed a bit too close the edge of the sewer water. Arms pin-wheeling, he barely managed to regain his balance and to not fall in the water. As soon as his balance was regained, however, Scout tore towards the RED base. Couldn't stay out in the open, the RED Sniper was probably still watching. He glanced over his shoulder. There, in the exact spot he had landed, was an arrow in the ground.

As soon as Scout got into the entrance of the RED base, he stopped to catch his breath. Leaning against the wall, gasping, he failed to notice the figure next to him.

"Scout?"

"Shit!" Scout jumped a foot in the air and raised his gun.

Unflinching, Medic stared just back at him.

"Shit, doc," Scout lowered his gun. "Don't do that, man."

Medic just shrugged.

"What're ya doin' here anyways?"

"Vell, I vas helping zhe Soldier, but…" Medic trailed off and motioned Scout to look around the corner.

Scout peeked around the corner. The sight he saw was certainly… interesting. The BLU and RED Soldier were fighting in a most unusual way. The each hand all their arm and hand bones out of their arms and were… dueling with them? Like they were swords or something… Scout watched as they started coming in his and Medic's direction. Swearing at each other as they continued their bone-y sword fight, they failed to notice the two BLUs as they dueled right out of the RED base. "Solly's gonna get it," Scout looked back to Medic. "RED Sniper's in the battlements."

"I could go and try to varn him," Medic took a step away as if he was going to follow Soldier, but stopped with a shrug. "But I don't really feel like it."

"That's kinda a dickish move," Scout raised an eyebrow.

"Soldier can take care of himself."

"Hey," Scout suddenly piped up. "Ya wanna take care of this for me?" He held out his bleeding arm.

"RED Sniper?"

"Yep," Scout nodded as he watched the Medic raise his Medi Gun to heal his arm. As the gun worked its magic, he asked, "You goin' to find Heavy or somethin' after this?"

"_Nein,_" Medic replied, shaking his head. "I believe Heavy's helping Engineer at zhe moment. I vill join up vith him later." After a couple seconds, he stopped the Medic Gun and nodded in approval at Scout's now healed arm. He then switched his Medi Gun for his Needle Gun. "Against my better judgment, I vill follow you for zhe moment. Let's go see if ve can get zheir Intel, hmm?"

"Whatevah ya say, doc," Scout shrugged in reply, grinning. Without another thought, he rounded the corner and jogged over to the entrance of the RED courtyard with the German close behind. Scout scanned the courtyard. "Hey, look," he noted once he caught a glimpse of what was in said courtyard. "It's Pyro!"

Medic looked as well. Sure enough, the BLU Pyro was scaling the ledges above them. But he wasn't alone. The RED Pyro trailed behind him. The BLU didn't seem to notice. "Pyro," Medic started to warn. "Look o-"

But it was too late. The RED Pyro brought his axe down upon the BLU Pyro. The BLU's body tumbled to the ground, dead and headed for respawn. The RED Pyro jumped down from the ledges. It turned to face the other BLUs.

"I say ve backtrack," Medic took a step back.

The RED Pyro took off his gloves.

"Yeah, backtrackin' sounds good," Scout quickly agreed.

Both giving slightly less than manly screams, Medic and Scout turned tail to escape a sudden gush of flames the RED threw in more than just their general direction. Fire hot on their backs, both BLUs didn't really think about where they were running. They didn't even realize it until they had stopped. To escape the RED Pyro, Medic and Scout had probably gone to the next least safe place possible (with the first being the RED base, obviously). The sewers. The two were too out of breath to take notice at first.

"How the hell," Scout breathed deeply for a moment, trying to even his breath out. "Did the RED Pyro get so good with the flame-y tricks so fast? Didn't he just get 'em, I dunno, yesterday?"

Medic was leaning against the sewer wall. "He is a Pyro," he paused to breathe a moment. "I vould think zat playing vith fire and such vould come naturally to him."

"Yeah, I guess," Scout shook his head. "So we got the RED Pyro snoopin' around up there. What's our next plan-a action, doc?"

"Vell, ve von't be staying down here, zat's for sure," Medic decided. He suddenly stopped. "Down here," he repeated.

"Down here what?"

"Ve are down here," Medic said slowly. "In zhe sewers."

"Yeah, we- Oh," Scout frowned when he realized what the other was getting at. "Okay. Forget any plans. I'd rather face the RED Pyro than a Spy right now."

"You don't want to see me, _mon ami_?" The BLU Spy suddenly materialized between the Scout and the Medic, causing both to jump. "I'm 'urt."

Scout was quick to blurt, "It was the doc's idea!"

"Vhat?"

"What was 'is idea, Scout?" The Spy raised an eyebrow.

"Comin' down here an-"

"Vhat?" Medic narrowed his eyes at the runner. "It vas not! Ve vere both evading zhe RED Pyro! Ve just ran down to here to escape him."

"…Okay, yeah, we were," Scout agreed before looking back to the Spy and shrugging. "Didn't mean to come down here, though."

"Ve probably could haf ran somewhere else," Medic said.

"Well, eet was zhe RED Pyro," Spy gave a nonchalant shrug. "I would 'ave done much to avoid 'im as well."

"Still," Medic shook his head. "Ve should not haf come down to zhe sewers."

"Why do you say zhat, Medic?" The Spy glanced towards the German.

It was Scout who answered. "Geez, Spy," he rolled his eyes. "Ya just told everybody why, like, ten min-"

"Zat Spy is a Spy!"

As soon as the words left Medic's mouth, Scout reacted. No questions asked, he quickly whipped out his bat and swung at the Spy. The Spy tried to dodge, but the bat managed to hit him in the arm. The disguise melted away after that. BLU changed to RED. Blue suit turned red and dull blue tentacles reverted back to a dull red. The RED Spy was who stood before them, not the BLU.

"_Merde_," The RED spat before pulling out his gun.

"I don't think so!" Scout swung the bat again, striking the Spy in the hand and knocking his gun away.

Medic, who had pulled out his Bonesaw, quickly darted forward and slashed at the enemy Spy. Needless to say, a mural of blood decorated the wall after that. And a whack in the head via Scout's bat promptly finished the RED Spy.

"Hey, not bad," Scout smirked down at the now dead RED. "Nice call there, doc."

"Yes," Medic nodded as he pulled out his Needle Gun. "I'm just glad ve killed him before he killed us."

"Pffft, we both could-a handled him by ourselves!" Scout grinned. "But I thought Spy was hangin' around here an' takin' care of the RED Spy and stuff. Where's he now?"

"Right behind you."

Scout and Medic both gave shrill yells of surprise and turned around, Needle Gun pointed and bat raised.

The BLU Spy just smirked and raised an eyebrow. "Jumpy, aren't we?" he chuckled.

"Ugh," Medic sighed as he lowered his gun. "Do not start. I just had to deal vith zhe RED Pyro and Spy all in less zhan three minutes."

"Technically, we didn't deal with the RED Pyro," Scout said. "We just escaped him."

"You mean ran away from 'im?" Spy looked at the Bostonian.

"I think I prefer the term tactical retreat."

"Of course you do," Spy fought the urge to roll his eyes. "So to escape 'im you ran down to zhe sewers, after I specifically told everyone not to?"

"Pretty much," Scout shrugged. "But what ya said earlier sounded more like a friendly suggestion anyways. Don't ya agree, doc?"

"Ve vere focusing more on getting away from zhe RED Pyro zhan vhere ve vere going," Medic agreed. "Zhe sewers vere simply vhere ve ended up. And he didn't follow us, did he? No extra trouble for you zhen, _Herr_ Spy. You can still just focus on zhe enemy Spy."

"Zhe RED Spy will respawn and be back soon," Spy reminded them. A lone tentacle made a shooing motion towards the other two BLUs. "I would suggest leaving. I will be busy killing 'im and you two would only be in my way."

Medic nodded and started to leave. Scout made to follow, but paused to ask, "Is he really the only one ya been able to kill this entire time?"

"Aside from you two," Spy sighed. "I 'ave only seen Soldier down here and two REDs aside from zheir Spy. Everyone seems to know to avoid zhe sewers."

"Least ya can kill somebody now, right?" Scout grinned at the balaclava-clad man.

Spy rolled his eyes. "Get out of 'ere, _lapin,_" he said before cloaking and disappearing.

Scout nodded and ran to catch up with Medic. The two headed back up the stairs that led back up to the RED base. They were greeted by a familiar masked face. Luckily, this one was friendly.

"Hudda-hudda!" The BLU Pyro greeted the two.

"Pyro," Medic nodded at him. "Back so soon?"

"Mph," Pyro nodded and the other two BLUs could almost see the malice glint in his eyes. A ball of fire appeared in one of his hands.

"Gonna actually kill the RED Pyro this time?" Scout asked.

"Ynn mrph!" The fireball expanded for a moment before disappearing in a small cloud of smoke.

"Vell let's not vaste time zhen," Medic looked at the others. "Scout and I vere just about to go and try to get zheir Intel. Care to join us?"

"Mrrph," Pyro agreed. "Bnnph wrrph huu pnnph?"

"Eh," Medic shrugged. "I say ve just charge in zhere and see vhat happens."

"That's sounds like something I would do," Scout said, staring at the German for a moment. "Which is awesome! Let's do it! C'mon!" He took off.

Shaking their heads, Medic and Pyro charged after him. The three ran in the direction of the RED courtyard. Scout was the first to enter it, but quickly exited it in the form of leaping backwards and straight into Medic.

"_Mein Gott_, Scout," Medic screeched to a stop and gave the boy a slight push back. "Vhat vas that for?"

"Well excuse me for not wantin' ta get hit by a sentry!" Scout defended himself.

"Vhere is it at?"

Scout peeked around the wall. He jumped back again when the three BLUs heard a series of beeps quickly followed by a flurry of bullets. "RED Engineer's got one near the entrance of their L-Shaft," he said.

"Can you shoot it vith your pistol?"

"Mrr," Pyro spoke up. "Strrph brph." He made gestured for the two to stand back.

Medic and Scout glanced at each other before they took a step away from Pyro.

Pyro moved to peek around the wall, catching sight of the sentry. He pulled back after doing so. As he held out his hand, a small flame appeared in it. After a few seconds it grew in size and turned into a sphere. Pyro then clutched like a ball. He then turned to take a step into the RED courtyard and flung the fireball at the sentry. The machine was quick to beep and fire too. Fireball and bullets both hit their mark; the sentry was destroyed in a burst of flames and Pyro fell back with a grunt.

"Pyro!" Medic immediately scolded. "Zat vas reckless!" As Pyro leaned against the nearby wall, the German was quick to aim the Medi Gun at his teammate.

"Yeah, but it was awesome!" Scout was grinning. "Ya got a great arm, Pyro! Ya need ta play baseball with me some time!"

"It vas still reckless," Medic insisted. "But, yes, a nice aim too."

"Thanphh," Pyro nodded as he straightened up. The Medi Gun had healed him as quick as ever. "Shaaph mph?" He motioned to the RED courtyard.

"Let's," the Medic agreed, Medi Gun still trained on Pyro.

"Oh, yeah!" With a whoop, Scout charged into the now sentry-free RED courtyard. Pyro and Medic followed right behind him. As they made their way across and up the stairs of the courtyard, a sudden spray of bullets alerted them that the RED Engineer had left the RED resupply room and took notice of them.

"Scout," Medic instructed as they reached the top of the stairs. "Go get zheir Intel. Pyro and I vill distract zhe RED Engineer and anyone else who might come along for as long as ve can. So hurry it up!"

"You got it, doc!" Scout shouted as the trio split. He ran to his right, to the RED L-Shaft. Wings beating, he flew down said hallway. Once he landed, Scout made a quick left, headed for the RED Intelligence room. He almost made it, but a bout of bullets shot at his feet stopped him. The RED Scout.

"This map ain't big enough for the two of us," the RED Scout sneered.

"Ya better leave then," the BLU replied. "There's one of yer resupply rooms back there. Perfect for ya to hide and sit the rest of the match out in."

The RED didn't reply that, just shot at the BLU Scout with his scattergun.

Scout leaped into the air, wings beating furiously. He almost hit his head on the ceiling, but at least he dodged the bullets. He then catapulted himself towards the RED, sailing over him and managing to whack him on the head with his bat as he flew by. "Yeah, those things on yer back, they're called wings," the BLU Scout taunted as he hovered. "Maybe ya should try usin' them! They might help ya win for once!"

The RED Scout took up the challenge. He launched himself into the air as well, flapping his own insect-like wings as fast as he could. The RED wasn't used to flying yet, though. It was obvious. He teetered in mid-air, about to lose his balance.

Before the RED could straighten himself out, Scout took the moment to whack him out of the air with his bat.

The RED Scout smacked into the ground with a grunt of pain. "Stupid wings!" he cursed the extra limbs on his back.

Scout landed in front of his counterpart, a grim look on his face. "I couldn't agree more," he said as he pulled out his pistol and shot the RED.

Having no chance to defend himself or flee, the RED Scout took the shot with a quick, shrill scream. Now dead, respawn would take him soon.

Scout had to get out of there before the RED was back. He took off towards the RED Intel room. Sure, the wings helped him a few times when he fought. Sure, it was kind of fun to fly. Sure, they weren't as bad as the problems the rest of his team had, but that didn't mean Scout didn't want to be normal again. He much preferred running to flying. And after this match, he and the rest of his team would get to be normal again. No more wings or any other weird stuff. And that was all Scout was going to concentrate on now. Winning today's fight didn't matter too much to him today, yeah, but there wasn't anything wrong with winning either.

"_We have taken the enemy Intelligence!"_

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A/N: Hmm. I kind of have mixed feels about this chapter. It's not my favorite, but it's certainly not my best. Hmm…

Another thing. A reviewer asked me a question I want to explain. They asked why I had the Horseless Headless Horsemann messing with the BLUs and turning them into freaks and such. They felt Merasmus, being a magician and all, would fit the bill better. Honestly? I planned this story before I even knew about Merasmus. And I wasn't going to switch it up just because he came along. That and I like the Horseless Headless Horsemann better than Merasmus (don't get me wrong, they're both amusing characters, I just like Horsemann more). Yeah. Just felt the need to explain that.

Up Next: The BLUs experience confusion, surprise, amusement, disbelief, and dread all in one chapter!


	10. Bump in the Night

Pit-Trap: I do not own these characters, TF2, etc.

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"Bloody Mann Manor," Sniper spat as he slammed the door to his camper van shut. "She had us drive all the way back ta bloody Mann Manor!"

"S'for a good cause, Sniper," Engineer said as he approached the other. "We're get ta be normal an' all now. We're gettin' fixed."

"Still," Sniper crossed his arms as he the two approached the rest of the BLUs. "Don't see why the Administrator could've given us our cures back at Teufort."

The entire BLU team gathered on the map of Mann Manor. After beating the REDs fairly easily the day before, they had gotten instructions on what to next, just as Miss Pauling said they would. The instructions had instructed them to go Mann Manor, which the BLUs really had no choice but to do. It was annoying, but they were all sure it'd be worth it. They only had one problem after getting to Mann Manor: what were they supposed to do next?

"You sure them instructions don't say anything else?" Scout crossed his arms and looked towards Spy.

Spy, who had the instructions and was re-reading, narrowed his eyes at the slip of paper in his hand. "Quite," he frowned. "Zhe instructions simply say to go to Mann Manor and to bring our weapons. Nothing else is on zhe paper." Spy looked on the back of the paper, but just shook his head when he found nothing else on it.

"That's a bit weird in itself," Sniper commented as he adjusted the Huntsman slung on his back. "Why do we need ta bring our weapons anyway? We're jus' gettin' fixed, right?"

"Must be for the Horseless Headless Horsemann," Soldier reasoned. "Just because we're not currently fighting at Mann Manor, doesn't mean he's not here!"

"Sol's got a point," Engineer nodded in agreement. "That monster's prolly snoopin' 'round as we speak. We should keep our guard up."

"_Oui_, we should, but," Spy sighed as he crumpled the instructions in his hand. "But zhat still does not tell us what to do next."

"Should go inside Mann Manor," Heavy piped up. "Boss lady might be there, waiting for us."

The BLUs were actually gathered outside their resupply room, where they'd start whenever they'd fight the REDs there. Bit of a habit it was, starting off there. "Sounds like a plan to me," Soldier bellowed. "Let's move out, ladies!"

The rest of the BLUs gave mixed responses as they started towards the manor. They walked at a leisurely pace. As they walked on, Engineer fell to the back of the group to speak with Spy. The balaclava-clad man, despite learning how to walk with the tentacles fairly easily, was still the slowest at the moment. "You doin' all right there, pardner?"

"Fine," Spy glanced over to the Engineer, suspicious. "Something is bothering, _oui_? What is on your mind, toymaker?"

Engineer's face was graced with a brief look of surprise, but it disappeared into a more serious looking one a second later. He hesitated a moment before saying, "It's weird." He glanced around the map and fingered the pistol hanging at his belt nervously. "We been here fer a good ten minutes and no sign of the Administrator or Miss Pauling. They told us ta come here, so where are they?"

"Odd indeed," Spy pulled out his knife and flipped it in his hands a few times. "Let's check zhe manor before we jump to conclusions though. If zhe two ladies are not there, zhen we 'ave reason to be suspicious."

"If ya say so-" Engineer cut himself off when he noticed Scout and Soldier raising their voices from the front of the group. They were arguing more than likely. Soldier was threatening Scout with his shovel. Not an uncommon occurrence. "Sol, Scout, if you two don't stop arguin', I'll tell the Administrator not ta fix ya!" The Texan warned the two arguing mercenaries.

"Solly started it!" Scout yelled back to the Texan.

"C'mere, fairy boy! I'll tear those wings right off so the Administrator doesn't have to bother with 'em!"

Scout gave a yell as Soldier lunged at him. He sprinted ahead of the group and rounded a nearby corner. Soldier made to run after him, but stopped when he heard a sudden, short scream. The rest of the BLUs stopped as well. That was Scout.

"Scout?" Engineer immediately called.

Said Bostonian rounded the corner again. He was going so fast he nearly ran into the Soldier as he sped back to the group. "I…I don't think they saw me," Scout gasped. "Yer not gonna believe it!" his eyed were wide and unbelieving. "The REDs are here!"

"What?" Soldier was the first to react. "Explain!"

"All of 'em are standin' in front of the manor!" Scout explained rapidly. "I only got a glance. They're jus'… there!"

"They got any weapons on 'em?"

Scout nodded.

"Vhat are zhey doing here?" Medic asked.

"I bet they got wind that we would be here and now they're here to stop us from gettin' cured!" Soldier snarled.

"Perhaps we should ask them," Spy suddenly said from the back of the group.

Everyone turned to stare at him.

"Why not? Eet is suspicious zhat they are 'ere, but," Spy went on. "For all we know, they could be 'ere for the same reason as us. There is only one way to find out, _oui_?"

"I commend you for wanting to actually face the enemy head on for once, Spy," Soldier frowned. "But need I remind you the REDs will probably shoot us as soon as they see us?"

"Maybe not zhis time," Spy shrugged. "If they are 'ere for zhe same reason as us, zhen they probably got zhe same instructions as well. Meaning they are probably as clueless as we are. And we 'ave no idea if respawn is on 'ere. There was never anything about eet in zhe instructions. And since we are not actually doing any fighting 'ere, why would respawn be on? If we go out now, they will 'esitate."

"Wot makes ya so sure?" Sniper questioned.

"RED or BLU, we are all used to relying on respawn now," Spy explained grimly. "Now we don't know if eet's on 'ere at zhe manor. We could actually kill each other, _oui_? But do we really need to? We are not 'ere to fight after all."

Everyone glanced at one another uneasily.

"Eet is just a theory," Spy shrugged again.

"Well, if it's a theory," Demoman grinned. "We best go test it out then, eh, lads?"

"REDs or no REDs, I'm going into Mann Manor!" Soldier agreed.

"Brought Sascha for reason," Heavy smirked, patting his gun.

"We will approach them then," Spy nodded as he pulled out his revolver. "Alright. Walk, do not charge, towards them. Keep weapons at zhe ready. Do not fire unless I give a signal. And Soldier, try not to say anything stupid."

"What's that supposed-"

But the Spy had already lurched forward, cutting Soldier off. The rest of the BLU team was quick to follow. Guns out and loaded, they rounded the corner that brought them all into view of the REDs. Both teams visually tensed at the sight of the other. The REDs scrambled to get together from their spot at the front steps of the manor. They soon had their weapons out as well, but like Spy predicted, they didn't shoot. The REDs just aimed and watched the BLUs approach. The BLU team eventually stopped, leaving a fifteen foot gap between the two groups.

There was a long, awkward pause after that. Usually, when the two teams saw one another they would just start shooting each other. Not having a long awkward silence. Spy was the one to break it. "We received instructions to come 'ere," he called to the REDs. "None of which mentioned the likes of you all being 'ere. What is your business 'ere?"

The REDs were clearly just as uneasy as the BLUs. They glanced nervously at one another. The RED Soldier was the one who answered after a tense moment. "Why should we tell you BLU pansies anything?" he yelled. "Our instructions said nothing about _you_ being here! What's _your_ business here?"

"Instructions?" Spy repeated with a smirk. "Zhen you all received instructions to come 'ere as well?" He didn't wait for a reply. "I figured."

"Nice going," the RED Spy grumbled to his Soldier.

"Shut it!" The RED Soldier snapped at his teammate before turning back to tell at the BLUs, "So we got instructions to be here, what of it? What's it mean to you, BLU wimps?"

"Eet means we 'ave no reason to fight," Spy flicked a tentacle towards the RED's pointed weapons. "If your instructions are any similar to ours, zhen they said nothing about fighting." He hoped the REDs would get the message, and not start randomly shooting or anything of the such. It's not that Spy wasn't confident they couldn't beat the REDs, he just didn't want to fight the REDs again. They came here to become normal again after all, not fight. "It also means," Spy went on. "Zhat you all are unsure as what to do next. You're all just sitting 'ere after all."

The RED Soldier was about to say something else, but the RED Spy cut in. "We were instructed to come 'ere so we could become normal again," he replied evenly, fastening his BLU counterpart with narrowed eyes. "You were told zhe same thing, I presume?"

"Obviously," Spy sighed. "But eet seems something is amiss, _non_? Zhe ones who promised us zhat we would be normal again are not present."

"Well, I'm here! That's all that should matter!" And suddenly the Horseless Headless Horsemann was there. Just standing between the two groups of mercenaries with a big grin on his face. How he got there, the mercenaries would never know. But they were too busy gapsing in surprise at his sudden appearance. Needless to say, everyone, RED or BLU, now pointed their weapons at him. The monster just giggled. "Oh, did I scare you all?"

"You're outnumbered, monster," Soldier tried to threaten. "Leave while you still can!"

"Pffft, I could kill you right now if I wanted, Mr. Soldier," the Horseless Headless Horsemann said nonchalantly. "But what's the fun in that? I came here for fun after all!"

"Well we didn't!" The RED Soldier yelled back. "We're here on strict business!"

"Strict business, right," the Horseless Headless Horsemann smirked. "You're all here to get fixed, right? To become normal again?"

Everyone froze. How did-

"Oh, that's right," the monster surveyed both teams. "I know why you're all here. You all have terrible issues. Wings, invisibility, and tentacles, oh my! You were told to come here to get those issues taken care of. Can't see why you'd want them gone, though," the Horseless Headless Horsemann shook his head. "I think they're all magnificent! Demomen," the monster addressed the two Demomen. "Your little eye trick could really come in handy, you know? I'd kill for that ability!"

Both the RED and BLU Demoman looked puzzled.

"Engineers," the Horseless Headless Horsemann said in a sing-song like voice. "I don't know what you two have to complain about!" He reached for his head and promptly took it off with ease. "I personally like being able to take my head off. You'd be surprised how fun it can be!"

Both Engineers looked aghast.

Grinning, the monster held his head out to survey both groups of mercenaries. His eyes lingered on the Spies. "Oh, and you Spies," the Horseless Headless Horsemann gushed as he put his head back on. "You two are definitely my favorites! Tentacles! Do you like them? I'm very proud of them! My best work yet! They turned out so lovely!"

"Your work…" Spy mumbled to himself before snapping his head up. "'e is zhe one who did zhis to us!"

"What?" Everyone shouted, gaping at the Spy before moving on to gape at the monster still standing between the two groups.

"Took you long enough to figure it out," the Horseless Headless Horsemann snorted.

"Then the Administrator didn't do this?" Sniper looked at Spy with a raised eyebrow.

"Does this mean she can't fix us?" Scout wondered anxiously.

The Horseless Headless Horsemann's roaring laughter interrupted anymore questions either side could have asked. "Oh, that's good!" he giggled, pointing to Scout. "You… you though the Administrator was going to fix your issues? That's rich!" He bent over in laughter, clearly amused. Then, he suddenly snapped back up, pointing a finger at the RED Scout. Purple smoke seemingly shot from his finger and swirled around the Scout. It completely enveloped him, blocking him from view.

The RED screamed.

"Scout!" Just as distressed as the RED Scout, his teammates yelled back.

The Horseless Headless Horsemann then pointed his right finger at the BLU Scout and the same thing happened.

Smoke cascading around him, Scout screamed as well.

"Scout!" The rest of the BLUs were caught between leaping forward to help him and jumping back in fear.

"You all have much to learn," the Horseless Headless Horsemann said. "If you think it's the Administrator who's going to fix you all." He pulled his arms back and the smoke immediately stopped flowing. After a few moments, the smoke wafted away, revealing the two Scouts. They were both cringing, but otherwise appeared unharmed.

Both REDs and BLUs gasped.

"What?" Scout looked at his teammates. "What're you guys lookin' at? What happened? What'd he do?" His voice rose as he got more panicky. What had that monster done to him now?

"Scout," Medic was gaping at him. Or, more specifically, his back. "Your vings," he said. "Zhey are gone!"

"Huh?" Scout turned his head back as far as he could. Sure enough, no wings. Hell, there was hardly even any evidence they had been there! Save for the rips in his shirt from where they had once poked though, nothing was there. "They're… they're gone!" His mouth dropped in shock. Just like that? They were gone?

The RED Scout's reaction was nearly the same. He was patting his back, as if checking if the wings were really gone. His fellow REDs gaped as well.

"Ah, ah, ah," the Horseless Headless Horsemann _tsked_, regaining everyone's attention again. "Let's not get too excited, shall we?" He snapped his fingers. In a poof of purple smoke, the wings appeared on both the Scouts' backs again.

Both Scouts' frowned at the return of the wings.

"As you all can see, I am the one who will be changing you back to normal," the Horseless Headless Horsemann said, surveying the groups. "And I have no problem with that. I can do it all in a flash! But," he paused and grinned. "I'd like to play a game first."

"Hold it!" Soldier crossed his arms. "Fighting the REDs yesterday was the last straw! We were told after that fight, we would be returned to normal! I am not fighting, playing any games, anything, until I get fixed!"

"That goes double for our team!" The RED Soldier bellowed in agreement.

"Oh, that's too bad," the monster sighed. "Here I was, about to return you all to normal after one little game…" the Horseless Headless Horsemann shrugged and turned around, as if about to walk away. "Well, who says I have to turn you all back?"

"The Administrator said-"

"Well the Administrator can't turn you back, can she?" the Horseless Headless Horsemann snapped. "Only I can. And if you don't feel like playing _one little_ game, then I don't feel like returning you to normal." The monster started walking towards the nearby graveyard. "Goodbye, mercs. Enjoy your wings, invisibility, and tentacles!"

Everyone jerked, glancing at each other uneasily. Was… was this monster serious? He wouldn't fix them unless they play a _game_?

"Oh, zhe Administrator is going to get an earful from me after zhis," Spy grumbled to no one in particular before shouting, "Wait a moment, _monsieur_!"

The Horseless Headless Horsemann stopped.

"I am not one to gauge monster's intelligence levels," Spy said, frowning at the monster's back. "But you must be stupid if you think I want to 'ave tentacles for zhe rest of my life. I do not speak for zhe rest of my team, let alone zhe REDs, but I will play zhis… game if eet means returning to normal."

The Horseless headless Horsemann whipped around, grinning. "You will?" he gushed. "Oh, I knew someone would! What about the rest of you BLUs?"

There was a tense and long pause. They clearly didn't want to, but… After a moment, Scout shrugged. "It's a game," he reasoned. "Could be fun."

"Yeah, playin' a game with a bloody monster," Sniper lightly whacked him on the back of the head. "Sounds real fun."

"Hey!"

"But I'm in," Grinning, Sniper said as he dodged a punch from Scout.

"Like I said, could be fun," Scout glared at the Aussie, but had a playful smirk on his face.

"Mph tff," Pyro said.

"Ve haf no real choice," Medic sighed.

"Will play too," Heavy nodded.

"Oi, I've faced the Loch Ness Monster before an' lived," Demoman smirked. "Playin' a game with a monster should be easy!"

"I suppose I'll have ta hop on this bandwagon as well," Engineer nodded.

"If my team is doing it, you can be sure as hell that I am too!" Soldier said.

"Oh, goodie!" The Horseless Headless Horsemann clapped his hands in delight. "That's the entire BLU team!" The monster turned to face the REDs. "What about you REDs? Want to play a little game?"

The REDs were silent for a moment. They then broke out into whispers amongst themselves. "This game," the RED Engineer spoke up after a moment. "It's, uh, not gonna be harmful to our health or anything, is it?"

"Of course not!"

The RED Engineer looked back at his team before looking back to the monster and nodding. "We'll play," he said.

"Excellent!" The Horseless Headless Horsemann boomed. "I'll explain what we'll be doing then!" The monster snapped his fingers and jack 'o' lantern seemingly fell from the sky and into his right hand. "The game is simple: each of the three points here at the manor will have one jack 'o' lantern on it. To win the game, you all must simply smash each one." He then crushed the jack 'o' lantern, sending bits and pieces and juices flying.

"Hah!" The RED Soldier grinned. "That's sounds easy!"

"I'm not done yet," the Horseless Headless Horsemann said. "I will be guarding the jack 'o' lanterns, trying to stop you all from smashing them."

"Wait a minute," the RED Engineer piped up. "Yer gonna guard 'em? Try an' stop us from gettin' to 'em?"

"Yes."

"As in using fightin' an' violence ta stop us? Prolly with yer axe an' all?"

"Yessirie."

"I thought ya said this wasn't gonna be dangerous to our health?"

"Oh, your little respawn system is on," the Horseless Headless Horsemann waved it off. "No need to worry."

The RED Engineer looked doubtful, which mirrored many off the mercenaries' looks. Could they really trust this monster? Believe him?

"Yeah, grease monkey," the RED Soldier patted his teammate on the back. "Besides, we outnumber him!"

"Oh, I won't be alone," the Horseless Headless Horsemann grinned. Bringing a hand to his mouth, he let out a shrill whistle.

All the mercenaries' faces turned from confusion to horror a second later. It was mostly caused by the people the suddenly approached the Horseless Headless Horsemann. If they could even be considered people. The witch that came floating down from the sky on a broomstick looked to be the closest to a human. Save for the fairy-tale green skin, pointy nose, and warts. Surely there was a human beneath the wrappings of the mummy that came sauntering up. That was iffy though. The ghost that appeared from thin air was probably human once before, but not so much now. The fact it didn't really have a face wasn't helping. It was just blank, no nose, mouth, or eyes. It was creepy.

And if the ghost was creepy, the werewolf that came running was flat out terrifying. It came to stand next the Horseless Headless Horseman, growling and glaring at the mercenaries. The grinning scarecrow that came to stand on the other side of the Horseless Headless Horsemann wasn't as scary as the werewolf. Nor was the drooling zombie that slowly moseyed on up. The mercenaries didn't even notice the vampire until it, well, turned into a vampire. It had been a bat fluttering next to the witch a minute ago. The group of monsters all gathered around the Horseless Headless Horseman.

"See?" The Horseless Headless Horsemann cooed. "I won't be alone. I've got some friends who want to play too!"

Both the REDs and BLUs couldn't help but take a step back and gape. Were they scared? A bit. Who could blame them? They were monsters! And each monster was just about the same size as the Horseless Headless Horsemann, who was a good seven or eight feet tall. And if they were anything like the Horseless Headless Horsemann, then they probably enjoyed chopping heads off or something similar to that sort of thing.

"We're fucked," the RED Scout muttered, still gaping at the monsters.

"This can't be bloody fair," the RED Sniper piped up. "You blokes are huge!"

"Yes, but there are eighteen of you," the Horseless Headless Horsemann reasoned. "And only seven of us! That evens it out!"

"'ardly," Spy rolled his eyes. He was about to comment on something else, but stopped. "Wait a minute… Eighteen of us?" he raised his voice, causing everyone to turn to look at him. "Are you… expecting us BLUs and REDs to play your game… together?"

"But of course!" the Horseless Headless Horsemann frowned. "I thought that was obvious. We don't have time to play separate games! It'll be easier for you two teams to play together anyways."

Despite the rather scary and unpleasant situation all the mercenaries faced, both the REDs and BLUs burst out laughing.

"REDs and BLUs… t-together…" Soldier chuckled. "That's a good one!"

"In case you haven't noticed, spooky," the RED Soldier had managed to stop laughing, but was still grinning. "We fight each other almost everyday! Working together is next to impossible!"

"Well you all better make it possible, then," the Horseless Headless Horsemann crossed his arms. "Because that's how we'll be playing."

"You serious?"

"_Very_ serious."

The REDs and BLUs tore their eyes away from the monsters to stare at each other. Work together? Just to play a game? Could this could get any worse?

"Oh, and another thing!"

Apparently it could.

"There's only one rule to the game: no guns," With a snap of the Horseless Headless Horsemann's fingers, all the mercenaries' guns disappeared in poofs of smoke.

The response was immediate. REDs and BLUs both shouted in surprise and protest.

"Yer bloddy kiddin' me!" Demoman shouted.

"Sascha!" Both Heavies cried out.

"What in Sam Hell?" Engineer looked at his empty hand, where his pistol had once been.

Both Spies were checking their suits. Any extra guns they might have brought along were gone as well. They only had their knives and disguise kits.

"Alright," the RED Sniper snapped. "Now this really ain't fair!"

"Of course it is!" The Horseless Headless Horseman said. "Out of me and my friends, I'm the only one with a weapon here! And it's not even a gun! So why should you all guns?" The monster glanced at both the Medics briefly. "The only guns I'll allow are the Medics' heal-y guns."

Both Medics looked at their Medi Gun, both of which hadn't disappeared.

Both REDs and BLUs erupted in more protest, but a howl from the werewolf shut them all up.

"Now, now, mercs," the Horseless Headless Horsemann cackled. "No need to worry: your guns will all be returned at the end of the game. But I'll remind you: This is my game and my rules. You all need to smash the three jack 'o' lanterns, guarded by me _and_ my friends. And, yes, by all, I mean both RED and BLU." He turned and started walking towards the manor. The rest of the monsters followed as well. "We'll start the game at sundown, whether all you mercs decide to play together or not. And you all best win the game before sunrise," the mercenaries couldn't see his grin and he walked away. "Or else."

As the monsters disappeared, REDs and BLUs looked at one another. This was looking worse and worse by the second.

"This sucks on ice," both Scouts said.

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A/N: Ngk. This chapter is over 4,000 words long. Whoops.

And if you all couldn't already tell from the text, I'll say this now. From this chapter on, when you see me writing "Spy" or "Engineer" (for example) I will be talking about the BLU ones. If they're a RED, it will always be said beforehand (like "the RED Spy" or "the RED Engineer"). I will never say "The Engineer" and be talking about the RED one. (This story focuses on the BLUs after all).

Up Next: The REDs and BLUs have a major decision to make: work together in the Horseless Headless Horsemann's game or not? Spoiler: they do. And so an epic fight of epic proportions begins!


	11. Moon Trance

Pit-Trap: I do not own these characters, TF2, etc.

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"REDs!" The RED Soldier shouted as soon as the Horseless Headless Horsemann and his monster friends were out of sight. "Huddle!"

At the RED Soldier's sudden order, the rest of the REDs turned their backs to the BLUs and huddled, forming a tight circle. They immediately started whispering amongst themselves.

A number of the BLUs raised their eyebrows at this, but after a moment, they all shrugged and did the same thing.

"Alright, men," Soldier spoke first. "Here's the situation: In order to become normal again we have to play a game with a group of monsters. The catch? We have to team up with the RED team." He glanced at all his teammates. "I say that's bullshit. But because this is America, we'll vote. We'll vote whether or not to team up with the REDs or to go it alone. So who's against it?"

"Mmm, yeah," Scout sneered. "After the whole RED Spy incident the other day, I sure as hell don't wanna work with them REDs."

"I 'ave to agree with zhe rabbit," Spy crossed his arms. "I despise zhe idea of working with zhe REDs."

"Myy snnf muh wornn vfff nmm," Pyro said.

"I haf to agree vith Pyro," Medic sighed. "Just like you all, I don't like zhe idea of working vith zhe REDs at all. But zhe sooner we finish zhis silly game, zhe sooner ve get fixed. Teaming up vith zhe REDs vill only make zhe game easier and quicker to finish."

"I agree with Medic," Heavy said. "Perhaps we could use puny REDs as bait for monsters while we smash pumpkins, yes? Then game be more fun."

"I bloody hate the REDs," Sniper spat. "But after I got a look at them monsters… well, I suppose teamin' up wouldn't hurt as much as being torn up by that werewolf, eh?"

"I've faced Nessie before," Demoman said. "But she was just one wee monster! There's bloody eight of 'em this time! I hate ta say it, lads, but teamin' up seems like a good way ta go."

"I don't want anything ta do with them REDs," Engineer shook his head. "I say we can live without 'em."

Soldier thought for a moment. "That's five to four. Teaming up with the REDs it is," he spat unhappily.

Some of the BLUs groaned while others just nodded. But the vote was done and over with. None of them were really happy with the result, especially when considering their entire situation and all. But desperate times called for desperate measures. And the BLUs desperately wanted to be normal again. They turned to face the REDs again.

Not a moment later, the REDs turned to face them as well. A silence fell between the two groups of mercenaries for a few seconds.

"Considering our situation," Soldier eventually broke the silence. "We offer a temporary alliance between the REDs and BLUs. The situation is dire and we face a common enemy. Teaming up will help both sides obtain their goals."

"On a regular basis, we would never team up with you BLUs, let alone play _games_ with you," the RED Soldier snarled. "But tonight appears to be a very special case. We reluctantly accept the offer."

There was another pause as the idea of RED and BLU working together sunk in. The mercenaries all shifted uneasily.

Soldier looked at the sky. The sun was close to setting. The Horseless Headless Horsemann's game would begin soon. "This game that monster wants us to play will start soon," Soldier said. "I suggest we form a plan of attack!" He turned to look at the Spy. "Spy! I want every detail on the monsters you got from sight alone!"

"Of course," Spy immediately nodded and began. "Zhe witch could fly. I guess she will stay in zhe air the most of zhe game. Zhat vampire could fly as well, but only as a bat. 'e could still use zhat as an advantage. Keep your eyes peeled for a bat. It could be zhat vampire. Zhe ghost appeared to 'over, not fly. I would worry more about 'ow we are going to be able to 'it 'im. Zhe zombie and mummy both more very slow, but I'm guessing their strength or something will make up for zhat. Zhe scarecrow moved around a lot, 'e was fast and jumpy. Zhe werewolf looked flat out vicious. 'e will be no pushover. 'e probably 'as muscles to spare. And then there's 'orseless 'eadless 'orsemann, which we all know and love." Spy finished sarcastically.

The RED Soldier, after a moment of hesitation, said, "We need a weapon inventory as well," he glanced around. "Who's got what weapons?"

"Vell," the RED Medic started. "I haf my Medi Gun and my Bonesaw, nothing else."

"I haf zhe same," Medic nodded.

"What about the Heavies?" The RED Soldier glanced back at his fellow RED.

"No gun," the RED Heavy snarled. "Stoopid monster took only gun I brought."

"Fists are only thing I have as well," Heavy grumbled.

"Snipers?"

"Got me Huntsman, mate," the RED Sniper twirled an arrow in his fingers.

"Same here," Sniper said, but a moment later he pulled out his Kukri. "Oh, wait. Got this little beaut too."

"I got me Eyelander," Demoman spoke up next.

"Well, I brought me Scotsman's Skullcutter," the RED Demoman pushed the axe in the ground and leaned against it.

"I jus' got my bat," the RED Scout shrugged.

"I got my Sandman!" Scout quickly piped up.

"Spies?"

"Disguise kit, knife, and cloaking device," the RED Spy admitted after a moment.

"Zhe same," Spy nodded as he crossed his arms.

"Engineers?" The RED Soldier turned towards their Engineer.

"Jus' my wrench," the RED Engineer sighed in frustration.

"Yer forgettin' 'bout yer gunslinger, pardner," Engineer grinned, as he removed his glove.

"I s'pose there's that too," the RED Engineer said after a moment and took off his glove as well.

"Muh hnff muh afff!" The RED Pyro held up his axe triumphantly.

"Muh mph," Pryo nodded as well, but took of his gloves. "Bfff muut mbonff ynff fiff?" A small flame appeared at his fingertips.

"Myoo," the RED Pyro took off his gloves and allowed a small flame to appear in his hands as well.

"And I have my shovel," Soldier said.

"I have mine as well," the RED Soldier frowned. "But this is no impressive arsenal we have."

Soldier had to agree. "The Engineers can't build sentries or dispensers. The Demomen have no explosives.And the Spies have knives. Very tiny knives."

"I beg you pardon," the RED Spy spat. "But we 'ave our cloaking devices and disguise kits!"

"Oh, what are you gonna do?" Soldier taunted. "Turn into our Medic and go stab one of those monsters in the back?"

The RED Spy fell silent, but his glare was still harsh.

"Face it, you can't do much! Neither of the Spies can. You both have tentacles instead of legs for God's sake!" Soldier added with a glance to his teammate. "I don't care how many of us there are, we're at a huge disadvantage! No guns, tiny knives, detachable heads, and tentacles!"

"Well," Engineer piped up. "We'll just have ta watch each others' backs is all."

Everyone stared at him.

"Now, don't y'all give me that look," Engineer snapped. "We agreed to work together and damn it, we're going to!" He looked around until his eyes fell on Pyro. "Pyro!"

"Mph?"

"Ya saw that scarecrow right?"

"Mph…"

"Why don't you an' the RED Pyro go lit 'im up?"

"Mrr-rry?" Pyro practically squealed.

The RED Pryo gave a muffled sound of joy as well.

"Sure," Engineer grinned. "He's all yours."

"Ynph!" Both Pyros cheered.

"That witch is gonna be a problem too," Engineer said after a minute of thought. He glanced at Sniper and then the RED one. "Can you Snipers handle her? Keep her out of everyone's hair?"

"Sure thing, mate," Sniper nodded at the Texan.

The RED Sniper glanced at his teammates before speaking. "Sounds alright ta me. Better than takin' on that bloody werewolf I s'pose."

"You should stay on top of all sheds and in your usual sniping spots," the RED Soldier advised. "Stay off the ground as much as possible and watch everyone's backs."

"What 'bout the Medics?" Engineer wondered aloud.

"Vhat about us?" The RED Medic questioned, narrowing his eyes at the BLU.

"Well, no offense ta either of you Medics, but I don't think either of ya should stay with a Heavy like y'all normally do. Ain't worth much ta charge a Heavy with no gun," Engineer reasoned with a shrug.

"Can still do plenty damage with fists alone," the RED Heavy growled.

"I'm not sayin' ya can't," Engineer held his hands up in defense. "I'm jus' sayin' they should stick with the Soldiers or maybe the Pyros. A gun-less Heavy will do damage, but not as much as one with a gun."

"Aw, but Engie," Soldier looked at the Texan with a frown. "I wanted to take on the werewolf! It's too dangerous for the doc to go with me-"

"Too dangerous?!" Medic interrupted indignantly, glaring at his teammate. "Vhat am I, a _kind_?"

Soldier ignored him. "Don't stick the doc with me!"

"I would suggest you take your Medic with you," the RED Soldier said to his counterpart. "For I assure you that _I_ will be the one taking on the werewolf!"

"Please. I could beat it ten times faster than you! And better than you, too!" Soldier sneered.

"I'd like to see you try!"

"You will! Because I'll be the one kicking that werewolf's ass! Not you!"

"Not in my world you're not! I'm kicking the werewolf's ass!"

"I am!"

"I-"

"Ya both can take on the werewolf!" Engineer shouted before their argument could go on any longer. Jesus, the manchildren he worked with… "Both the Soldiers can take on the werewolf. The Medics will stay with the Heavies. Everyone happy now?"

"Well, I-"

"_Good_," Engineer cut Soldier off before moving on. "Now, how we gonna handle that ghost?"

"I'm guessin' hittin' it with a bat won't work out too well," Scout said.

"Ghost tend ta be all see-through an' such, laddie," Demoman rolled his eye. "I doubt you'll do much damage."

"Like yer sword would do much damage either," Scout snapped back.

"Their swords might not do much damage," the RED Soldier looked thoughtful. "But their freaky eye tricks might!"

"Ya mean ya want us ta put the ghost ta sleep?" The RED Demoman raised an eyebrow at his teammate.

"I dunno," Engineer crossed his arms. "That ghost didn't look like it had any eyes… or anything else on its face for that matter."

"Well, if you have a better idea, do tell!" The RED Soldier retorted.

Engineer rolled his eyes. "Fine," he said. "The Demomen will see if they can put the ghost ta sleep."

"Eet is nice," Spy spoke up. "That we are all figuring out 'ow to 'andle these monsters, but I think there is something we are forgetting."

"What?" The RED Soldier questioned.

"'ow we are going to smash zhe jack 'o' lanterns," Spy said flatly. "We can probably 'andle zhe monsters fairly well, keeping them distracted and all. But they are not stupid. They will guard those three jack 'o' lanterns very well. 'ow are we going to smash them if we are all busy fighting monsters?"

"He has a good point," Engineer sighed. "Hmm… could we send the Heavies in ta do that?"

"Zhat would be too obvious," the RED Spy sneered. "Zhe monsters would see zhe 'eavies going in, stop fighting whoever they are dealing with, and go stop them."

"Yeah," the RED Engineer nodded. "We need someone not as obvious as a Heavy goin' ta smash them pumpkins."

"Someone who can go in undetected," the RED Soldier agreed.

"Someone who's real good at sneakin'," the RED Sniper grinned.

"Someone," the RED Scout put in. "Ya don't notice 'til it's too late."

"Someone who can go _invisible_," the RED Demoman finished.

"What are you-"

"Congratulations, Spy!" The RED Soldier clapped his teammate on the back. "You have volunteered to go smash the jack 'o' lanterns!"

"_What_?" The RED Spy looked horrified. "I most certainly 'ave not!"

"That's a great idea!" Engineer grinned. "In fact, why don't both Spies do that?"

"_Quoi?_!" Both Spies shouted at once.

"That way," Engineer explained. "It'd go a lot faster!"

"I think not," Spy frowned. "'ave one of zhe Medics do it. They can go invisible for as long as they want. Our cloaking devices only go for so long."

"Spah, ya know Medic can't control that," Engineer said. "I doubt the RED Medic can either. You Spies are best suited fer the job."

"'e 'ad a good point though," the RED Spy pointed out. "We can only use our cloaking devices for so long. They run out of power faster zhan you might think. We are also considerably… slower zhan normal," the RED admitted unhappily, waving a tentacle at the BLU.

"So yer sayin' ya would need more time ta be able ta smash the pumpkins?"

"_Oui_."

The RED Engineer "hmm-ed" in thought. "How 'bout," he spoke up. "You use a distraction instead?"

"What?"

"Ya know, someone else could specifically distract whatever monster's guardin' the jack 'o' lanterns," the RED explained. "An' while whoever's doin' that, ya'll could sneak in and take care of the pumpkin!"

There was obviously no way the Spies were getting out of this little job they had been assigned. The RED Spy glanced at his counterpart before sighing unhappily, "I suppose."

Engineer clapped his hands. "An' I know jus' who's perfect for the job!" He turned towards Scout. "Scout!"

Before the Bostonian could reply, Spy couldn't help but mutter, "Oh no."

"Oh, yes," Engineer replied. He looked at Scout. "Scout, you'll be workin' with the Spies. In fact, both of 'em will."

"_What?_" Both Scouts shrieked.

"Yeah," The RED Engineer agreed with a grin. "That's a great idea. The Scouts and Spies will go around ta the three points. While the Scouts are busy distractin' the monsters, the Spies'll sneak in an' take care of the jack 'o' lanterns!"

"Sounds like a plan to me," Soldier grinned. "And why they're doin' that, the rest of us will have to take care of the other monsters."

"Yeah," Engineer looked thoughtful. "We still need to think about how we're gonna take care of that mummy, zombie, and vampire. Anyone got any suggestions of that?"

"I don't think there's time for that," the RED Soldier suddenly frowned.

Everyone looked at him.

The RED pointed to the sky. The sun had disappeared. The moon had taken its place. A howl echoed across the map and all the mercenaries knew very well what was.

The game had begun.

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The REDs and BLUs dispersed. The Heavies and the Medics started off towards the first control point, nearest to the BLU resupply room. The Soldiers were right behind them. The BLU Engineer chose to follow the Soldiers as well. The Pyros and the RED Engineer started towards the mansion, headed for the third control point, closest to the RED resupply room. The Demomen headed towards the first control point as well. That left the Spies, Scouts, and Snipers standing awkwardly out near the second control point in front of the manor.

"This sucks," Scout muttered to Spy, who just "hmm-ed" in reply. "I mean," Scout went on. "Ya can't seriously expect me ta work with these two. I fight 'em, like, every day."

"What makes you think I want to work with them any more than you do?" Spy glanced as the other with narrowed eyes. "If eet is what we 'ave to do to be normal again, I will go for eet."

Scout said nothing in reply, but transferred his glare over to the two REDs who stood a few feet away.

Spy reached inside of his suit jacket for something and second later pulled out a knife. He tossed it to the RED Spy, who caught it with ease and then stared at it, confused. "Consider eet a peace offering of sorts," Spy explained. "I will probably regret giving that back to you later, but…" He trailed off with a shrug.

"My knife," the RED Spy noted, pocketing it and glancing back up. "From zhe other day."

"_Oui_," Spy gave the RED a cold smile. "And if you ever try to take our Scout or anyone else from my team again, I will take so much more than your knife from you. _Much_ more."

"Is zhat a threat?"

"_Non_, eet is a promise," Spy continued smirking. "But let's set zhe death threats aside for zhe moment, yes? We need to focus on zhe job at 'and. Normally, we," Spy motioned to himself and Scout with a tentacle. "Could care less about zhe two of you, could care less about working with zhe two of you. Now, what we do care about is getting fixed. Unfortunately, zhat requires working with zhe two of you. So Scout and I are _willing_-" Spy spat 'willing' out with much distaste. "-to work with zhe two of you. But _only_ because we care about getting fixed."

"_We_ are?" Scout looked at Spy incredulously.

Spy looked at Scout sharply before looking back to the two REDs. "Well?"

"Hell no do I wanna work with either of you twos," the RED Scout snapped. "But," he hesitated before shrugging. "We ain't got much of a choice, do we?"

"Eet wasn't necessarily a bad plan," the RED Spy agreed with a frown. "Not exactly what _I_ 'ad in mind, but eet looks like we 'ave already been assigned our parts, hmm?"

Spy snorted. "So we will… work together, _oui_?" he confirmed.

"Don't expect any favors," the RED Spy said as he pulled out a cigarette.

Spy rolled his eyes. "We will start at zhe third control point then," he said as he started towards the manor.

"Why?" Scout asked as he started to follow his teammate.

"Eet is more…" Spy searched for the word. "Secluded in zhe manor."

"Easier for us Spies to find 'iding places," the RED Spy further explained. He and the RED Scout fell into step with the other two mercenaries.

"What about us Scouts?" The RED Scout asked. "It's a lot harder to run in da manor than outside!"

"Run in circles for all we care," the RED Spy looked at his teammate with indifference. "Just keep zhe monsters distracted."

"But it'll only be easier for them monsters ta kill _us_ inside!"

"That's what respawn is for," the RED Spy smirked.

The two Snipers watched as their teammates headed in the direction of the manor. They then awkwardly turned to face one another and awkwardly stare at one another. You'd think the Snipers would have been at each others' throat by now, making snide remarks about the other's sniping skills or something along those lines. Not so much. For now, the two mercenaries both internally decided to swallow their colorful insults and try to help their teammates.

"Where ya want ta set up, mate?" Sniper decided to break the ice.

The RED Sniper hesitated, but eventually said, "I figured one place that'd be good ta hang about in was the shed above the second control point."

"Good place," Sniper agreed and turned to face the control point and shed. "Good cover an' such. Be easy ta watch the point as well. Not very many people 'round this point at the moment though. Should one of us go hang 'round the first control point?"

"Sounds-" The RED Sniper was cut off as something suddenly rammed into him from above, causing him to be flung to the ground. "Bloody hell!"

Laughing, the witch that had slammed into the RED pointed her broomstick up and climbed higher into the sky.

"Looks like the shelia decided ta find us instead!" Sniper looked towards the sky, keeping an eye on the witch, who flew above and over the manor. A couple of seconds pass but, she didn't reappear again.

The RED Sniper started to stand up. "Did she really just bloody lea-"

Then the witch flew back in sight again, hurtling right for the two Snipers.

"Might wanna find a snipin' spot 'bout now!" Sniper cried as he jumped away, taking off towards the shed that sheltered the second control point.

"Oh, I'll get right on that!" The RED Sniper spat, jumping up to run towards the manor. He ran up some stairs that lead to a side entrance of the manor and inside of it. Seconds later, he reappeared at a hole on the side of the building. Perched with his Huntsman ready, he scanned the skies for the witch. He started loosing arrows when she sped past his sniping spot, laughing like crazy.

Sniper, now perched atop the shed covering the second control point, quickly did the same. Neither of them managed at hit, however. The witch was pretty fast on that broomstick of hers. "This lady ain't gonna make this easy," Sniper grumbled as he readied another arrow. But as he aimed towards the sky once more, he realized his target was absent from the sky. Where had the witch gone now?

Sniper got his answer when he felt something ram into him from behind, sending him falling off the shed and to the ground. He was pretty sure he heard something crack when he landed. But it was hard to hear over the witch's laughter as she climbed higher into the sky once more. Grumbling in pain and annoyance, Sniper slowly stood himself up and started for the ladder that he could climb to get to the top of the shed again. He'd barely taken a few steps when something came sailing over his head and landed a few feet in front of him.

That something was Demoman, who, after he landed and lay still for a few seconds, promptly groaned and tried to sit up. "Top of th' mornin' to ya, Sniper," he said once he noticed his teammate staring at him. "How's it goin' so far with you?"

"Demo," Sniper stared at his teammate. "How'd you get here?"

"Ghost has a _real_ good arm," Demoman pointed behind Sniper.

Sniper turned around to see the RED Demoman fighting the ghost. Or at least trying to. The ghoul was steadily pushing the RED back, who was swinging his axe at the monster. But it wasn't much use. The axe was going straight through the ghost. The ghost suddenly, slowly held up one of its arms, which had long, dangling chains on it. Then, frighteningly fast, it whipped one forward to wrap it around the RED Demoman's leg. With nary of grunt of effort, the ghost then yanked his arm back and then forward to send the RED sailing in the sky. Screaming, the RED Demoman then landed a few feet away from Demoman and Sniper.

"See what I mean?" Demoman grumbled as he stood up.

"Did ya try yer eye trick on it yet?" Sniper asked, staring at the ghost, to the RED Demoman, and back to the ghost again.

"'Course we bloody did!" Demoman snapped. "Didn't work none! Sword an' axe ain't doin' much good either! Which I knew very well they wouldn't! Went right through the spook, as you jus' saw!"

"Neither of 'em worked? Went right through the spooky bloke?"

"Yes! I jus' bloody said that!"

"Then how come the ghoul was able ta grab ya with 'is chains like that?"

"His chains?" Demoman hadn't thought of that. How had the ghost been able to do that?

"You an' the RED, distract the ghost. Got an idea," Sniper said.

"What?" Demoman raised an eyebrow at his teammate. "Don't ya got a witch ta keep busy?"

"The RED Sniper can handle her," Sniper said quickly. "Now hurry up an' distract the ghost!" Chains dragging on the ground, the ghost was steadily creeping closer to the three mercenaries.

Demoman shrugged. "You heard the man," he said as walked towards the RED Demoman. He grabbed the RED's arm and yanked him up. "C'mon, get up. Gotta distract the ghost."

"Easy fer him ta say," the RED Demoman gripped as he stood up, swaying a bit. "I think that ghoul bloody broke somethin'."

"Pffft, worry aboot it later!"

"How we supposed ta distract it anyway?" The RED Demoman said as they started walking towards the monster. "Our weapons go right through 'im!"

"Haven't a clue," Demoman shrugged again. "Jus' yell an' scream in 'is face or somethin'. As long as ya keep 'is eyes off Sniper."

"He doesn't even have any bloody eyes!" The RED Demoman yelled in frustration. He then raised his axe and charged towards the ghost with a battle cry.

The ghost merely floated forward. It gave no indicator that it really cared that the RED Demoman was charging straight for him. It didn't matter at all. For the RED Demoman simply charged right through the ghost. Though they all kind of predicted that would happen. The RED just wasn't able to predict how it felt.

His battle cry quickly turned into a low, prolonged groan as he exited the ghost. "Fuckin' weirdest feelin' ever," the RED Demoman complained, shaking his head. It was like he had just ran through incredibly thick, nearly tangible, fog. It easily gave him the shivers.

The ghost slowly turned around to face the RED.

"Ah, bloody hell."

The ghost whipped the chains forward to wrap around the RED's middle. The monster then threw his arm up, quickly causing the RED Demoman to be thrown straight up into the air. The Scot painfully connected with the ground once more seconds later. The ghost started towards the fallen RED again, probably with the intent to finish him, but paused when it heard a shrill whistle. It slowly turned to face Demoman.

"Oh, they're gonna have ta glue him back together!" Demoman grinned, sword raised. "Right after they're done gluing you!" He charged the ghost as well.

The result was the same. Demoman go through ghost, ghost grab Demoman, and ghost throw Demoman into air with its chains. The landing was a bit more painful this round, however. Mostly because Demoman landed on top of the RED Demoman.

"Tha's gonna leave a mark," Demoman groaned as he rolled off the other Demoman, who gave a pained wheeze in reply.

The ghost floated towards the downed Demomen. Then it jerked to a halt. It slowly turned around.

"G'day," Sniper grinned. He gave a tug on one of the chains he was holding. It was attached to the ghost's left arm.

Sniper really hoped this would work. Staring at the ghost, he concentrated. Ripples of sparks began to flow down his arms and to the chain he was holding. The sparks then slide down the chain that was connected to the ghost. It hit the monster with a shock. It had worked. The electricity was hurting the ghost! Sniper and the ghost realized this at the same time. The ghost gave an unearthly wail and shot towards the BLU. Gritting his teeth, Sniper concentrated even harder. He suddenly felt as if his whole body was covered, flowing with electricity. And all that charge was flowing right to the ghost via the chains wrapped around its wrists. With another long, painful screech it skidded to the ground. As it started to disappear, the chains fell through Sniper's hands. The rest of the ghost seemingly melted away, turning into white smoke at the Sniper's feet. Soon, only a small cloud of white smoke was left and a gentle breeze quickly blew that away as well.

Was that it? Was the ghost gone? Sniper groaned and swayed a bit. "Bloody piker," he grumbled, holding a hand to his head. Doing that electric trick couldn't been healthy.

"Sniper!" Demoman popped up behind the Aussie and gave him a clap of the back. "That was quite a trick ya did there, lad!"

"Yeah," Sniper agreed with a small grin. "Let's hope the ghoul won't be comin' back after that."

"'e better not!" Demoman grinned. "Or 'e'll have ta take you on again!"

"Not that I'm all happy ya took care of our spooky friend," the RED Demoman strolled up to the two BLUs. "But shouldn't we be smashin' something right aboot now?" He pointed to the unguarded jack 'o' lantern sitting in the middle of the second control point.

"Ya got that right, mate," Sniper nodded as he started towards the control point. The two Demomen quickly followed. "We'll t-" he was cut off as something slammed into him from the side, sending him tumbling to the ground painfully.

That something then rammed into Demoman. Then the RED Demoman. That something then proceeded to laugh like mad and fly above the shed sheltering the second control point on her broomstick.

From his spot on the ground, Sniper just groaned, "Bloody witch."

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A/N: Sniper used Thundershock!

It's super effective!

Wild Ghost fainted!

Yes.

I really didn't like writing this chapter. Took me bloody forever to write. Nor do I particularly like how it came out. Ah, well. Writing aboot Demomen helped.

Up Next: Pyro has a plan, the Spies get strangled, the Scouts need to _get off the point_, Soldier has a new ride, and the Medics decide to split things fifty-fifty.


	12. Thriller

Pit-Trap: I do not own these characters, TF2, etc.

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"Wnph shfff slff unph," Pyro looked down through the hole in ceiling.

He, the RED Pyro, and RED Engineer were on what appeared to be the second floor of Mann Manor. Or maybe an attic of some sort. It was hard to tell. It was a floor with a giant hole in it. A hole that had a nice view of the third control point. The scarecrow and the Horseless Headless Horsemann were standing on said control point, guarding a jack 'o' lantern the sat between them. The Horseless Headless Horsemann was talking away and the two monsters didn't seem to notice the three mercenaries above. Still, they all took a step back from the hole once they accessed the situation.

"Myumuh," Pyro turned to the two REDs. "Wph shfff slff unph sff unff cnn hnffle tff scffcfff nnn mph ooff cnn hnffle mph Horff Hephlph Horffmph."

"Myumuh," the RED Pyro nodded. "Bff myoo gnph mph?"

"Mph?"

"Miyy wnnf mph tff lph mph scffcfff," the RED Pyro stubbornly said.

"Mee bff cnn," Pyro answered. "Anff Engiphff mph diffiff mph Horff Hephlph Horffmph. Sonff gph?"

"Mmm…"

"Anff ff mph Horff Hephlph Horffmph kffs mph Engiphff, Myi wiff gph fiph mim inffph."

"Mrr-rry?"

"Mph."

"Myumuh! Sonff liff muh gnff plff," the RED Pyro decided.

The two Pyros then turned to look at the RED Engineer, who looked just a tad bit confused.

"Y'all 'ill have ta forgive me," the RED shook his head with a sarcastic grin. "I'm afraid I only caught 'bout half of that."

Pyro sighed. He walked over to the hole again and motioned for the RED to follow. Once the RED Engineer did so, Pyro pointed to the Horseless Headless Horsemann, then back to the RED Engineer, and to the monster once more. "Hnff auu ynffs," he said, grinning beneath his mask.

"What?" The RED Engineer gaped at the monster and then back to the BLU. "Ya can't be serious! That monster'll chop mah head off faster than a Scout can cap a point!"

Pyro just shrugged.

The RED Engineer then turned to his teammate for support.

After a moment of staring, the RED Pyro shrugged as well. He then stepped forward and delicately patted the Texan on the shoulder. "Mrrry," he mumbled. He then turned around and charged down the stairs that lead to the control point with a cry of, "Hudda-hudda!"

Pyro jogged after him with an excited cry as well.

The RED Engineer stared at the two Pyros before slowly following them. "I'm gonna get it real good," he complained to himself.

As soon as the three disappeared down to the control point, the Spies and Scouts entered the room they had just left. "I thought I 'eard voice in 'ere," the RED Spy as they entered, glancing around the room in suspicion.

"Ya did!" The RED Scout had already run over to the hole in the ceiling. Staring at the floor bellow, he pointed. "Look, the Pyros an' Tex are takin' on the Horseless guy and scarecrow!"

The two Spies and Scout glanced over the hole and to the control point bellow. That indeed was the sight bellow. The two Pyros had made it down the stairs and to the control point first. The two monsters quickly jumped to intercept them. The Pyros both formed some fireballs in their hands and quickly tossed them towards the scarecrow. The scarecrow, giving a high-pitched shriek, jumped out of the way and dashed into what appeared to be a library and the room closest to the control point. The two Pyros were quick to give chase. That then left the RED Engineer and the Horseless Headless Horsemann. The RED Engineer's attack wasn't as glorious as the Pyros', if you could call it an attack at all. He actually just kind of yelled and screamed as the Horseless Headless Horsemann started chasing him with his axe. The RED, running as fast as his legs could carry him, ran into a nearby hallway, with the axe-wielding monster close behind. The large room then fell silent.

"Hey," Scout said as soon as the room emptied. "All the monsters left now. This jack 'o' lantern will be easy ta smash!"

"I don't know," Spy glanced down at the room suspiciously. "Eet seems odd. They abandoned zhe jack 'o' lantern? Just like zhat?"

"Technically, they didn't abandon it," Scout replied. "I'm guessin' the RED Engie will be finished off pretty quickly an' all. Which is why we should take care of the pumpkin now, before the Horsemann guy comes back!" Without waiting for a reply, Scout jumped off the edge of the hole. Wings fluttering, he floated down to the control point.

After a second of hesitation, the RED Scout did the same.

"Impatient Scouts," the RED Spy muttered, shaking his head. He started towards the steps that lead down to the control point.

Spy followed, watching the Scouts land.

Scout floated onto the control point, landing easily.

The RED Scout's landing wasn't as easy. His wings decided they didn't want to fly for an extra few seconds and stopped a couple feet above the control point. He fell face-first onto the point. "Damn it!"

"Nice landing, dumbass," Scout laughed.

"Shut up before I bash yer face in!" The RED Scout jumped up, glaring.

"I'd like ta see ya try!"

"Oh, yeah? Then I'll-" The RED was interrupted by a low moaning sound. He stared at Scout, who stared back.

"Was that yer stomach?" Scout asked after a second.

"Nuh-uh," the RED Scout slowly shook his head. "Was it yers?"

"Nuh-uh," Scout glanced around. Then he saw it. Next to the jack 'o' lantern, which teetered at the very edge of the control point.

The third control point had a small issue. It was barely hanging onto the floor itself. It was mostly surrounded by gaping holes that lead to darkness bellow. The moaning sound they just heard had come _from_ the darkness bellow the point. The two Scouts quickly found out what it was when they saw two hands, wrapped in ratty and dirty gauze, appear on both sides of the jack 'o' lantern. Seconds later, the mummy slowly pulled itself up. Giving a low, moaning sound again, it slowly started towards the two Scouts, both of which shrieked.

"Get off the point, get off the point, _get off the point!_" Scout chanted as he jumped into the air.

"I'm workin' on it!" The RED Scout shouted as he jumped into the air as well.

The mummy tried to swipe at the two, but they were too high in the air to reach. It turned its sights on the two Spies instead.

The two Frenchmen had just made it to the bottom of the stairs when Scout started yelling, "Yous two might wanna run!"

"What di-" Spy interrupted himself with a surprised shout as the mummy lunged for him. He never cloaked so fast. After he disappeared from sight, he catapulted himself over the stairs and barely skimmed around the mummy.

The RED Spy, unfortunately, wasn't as fast. The mummy, after missing the BLU Spy, made a grab for the RED one and successfully managed to grab the man around the neck. He gave a choking sound and flailed, trying to reach for his knife.

The RED Spy would've been finished if it wasn't for the RED Scout, who flew behind the mummy and promptly whacked him over the head with his bat. The mummy gave a loud groan and dropped the RED Spy, who, after giving taking in a few quick breaths, cloaked and disappeared from sight. The mummy didn't seem to care anymore, seeing as it just moaned and held its head in pain now.

The RED Scout, wary, flew a few feet higher into the air and away from the mummy. "I got a bad feeling…" he said.

Scout, who fluttered a few feet higher than the RED, snorted. "After that weak hit? Yeah, I'd be worried too," he grinned. "But don't worry; one hit from _me_ should take care of this knucklehead."

"I'm not talkin' about the mummy, ya idiot!" The RED Scout replied, turning in mid-air to glare at his counterpart. "I… I'm talkin' about this feeling I got-"

"Aw, ya scared?"

"No!" The RED Scout shouted. He then lowered his voice a tad bit. "I got this feeling of dread an' shit. I… I think I'm It."

"_What_?!" The shout of surprise came from the other three mercenaries. Scout nearly fell out of the air. Both Spies de-cloaked to stare at the RED Scout.

"Why didn't you say so, you idiot?" The RED Spy roared, no longer seeming to care he was in plain sight.

"I-I didn't-"

"_Get out of here!_" Scout, Spy, and the RED Spy all yelled at the same time.

"But-"

"Dude!" Scout shoved the RED Scout in mid-air, nearly knocking the other out of the air. "Get out of here! Yer gonna attract the-"

Too late. The Horseless Headless Horsemann came crashing into the room, yelling happily in a sing-song voice, "Here's Headsie!"

Cue the screaming from the mercenaries. The RED Scout took off towards a nearby room to the left that had some couches and a piano in it. The Horseless Headless Horsemann happily gave chase, practically skipping after the RED. The Spies, both of which were still stupidly de-cloaked, were grabbed by the mummy in a choking hold. Scout, in an effort to save them, began to whack the mummy in the head with his bat. The mummy, in return to this ever so _violent_ action, threw both the Spies at Scout. The three then crashed to the ground in a tangled heap of wings and tentacles.

Of course, as the mummy was busy beating the Scout and Spies, the scarecrow had to come back into the room. The Pyros, of course, were in hot pursuit. The scarecrow jumped and danced around the room, avoiding the Pyros' flames (which hit just about everything except the scarecrow). Then, icing on the cake, the RED Scout had simply looped around the manor and had ran right back into the control point room. The Horseless Headless Horsemann was obviously still trying to catch the RED. To say all hell had broken loose would be an understatement. The Spies and Scout were trying to untangle themselves and take on the approaching mummy, while the Pyros were still spitting flames and chasing the scarecrow, and the Horseless Headless Horsemann was swinging his axe wildly, trying to hit the ever quick RED Scout.

Between the moans of the mummy, the shrieking of the scarecrow and RED Scout, and the laughter from the Horseless Headless Horsemann, it was hard to notice the little things. But every single person in that room – RED, BLU, man, or monster – froze when they heard a slight squishing sound. Everyone turned to look at the control point. There stood the RED Engineer. Jack 'o' lantern bits dripped from his wrench while the rest of the pumpkin lay smashed at his feet. "Er," the RED Engineer raised an eyebrow when he noticed everyone was staring at him. "Howdy?"

"Engineer," the RED Spy said slowly, staring at his teammate. He didn't seem to care that the mummy was looming over him at the moment. "When did you get 'ere?"

"Uh, few seconds ago," the RED Engineer replied as he jabbed his thumb behind himself, pointing in the direction of the RED resupply room. "Just got outta respawn an' all. Saw y'all were a bit busy gettin' strangled and chased, so I figured I'd just take care of the jack 'o' lantern."

"Ah." That made sense.

But that didn't mean it sat well with everyone in the room. The Horseless Headless Horsemann and his two other monster friends were most unhappy that the mercenaries had smashed a jack 'o' lantern. The mummy started strangling the Spies again. The Horseless Headless Horsemann, after giving a howl of fury at the jack 'o' lantern being smashed so easily, promptly killed the RED Scout. He then went after Scout. The scarecrow, who before had been _chased_ by the Pyros, turned to jump them both. And after the monsters were all done with the other mercenaries, they all turned to the RED Engineer. Needless to say, the RED was sent to respawn again.

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"Zhis isn't vorking," Medic said as he leaned against a wall.

"No," the RED Medic, who stood next to him, sneered sarcastically. "And here I thought ve vere doing _so_ _vell_."

Medic turned to glare at his counterpart before glancing back outside.

Both the Medics stood inside a two-story shed near the first control point. The Heavies and Soldiers were no where to be seen. Standing (and drooling) on the first control point was the zombie. It was hard to get him to budge, as the Medics quickly learned. He was certainly doing wonders at being able to guard that jack 'o' lantern. The werewolf had been there with him, but the Soldiers attacked the creature as soon as they saw it. The three had disappeared elsewhere. So while the Soldiers took care of the werewolf, the Heavies and Medics tried to smash the jack 'o' lantern and defeat the zombie.

It was going to be harder than they thought. The four had attacked at least three times, all with the same result. The zombie would take on one of the Heavies, then the vampire would appear out of _nowhere, _and promptly attack the other Heavy. Each time the vampire appeared was a mystery, so it always surprised them. That, and now that the fight was fair, it was a bit harder for the Heavies to deal with one monster each. Something would happen to one Heavy, he'd die, causing the monster to then gang up on the other Heavy, who die after the tables got turned, leaving the Medics Heavy-less and forcing the two Germans to retreat and wait for both Heavies to return from respawn. It was beyond frustrating. They were so close, yet so far.

"It is zat vampire zat is zhe problem," Medic turned to face the RED. "Both zhe Heavies could take on zhe zombie, if zhey both took him on together of course. But zat vampire keeps coming out of novhere and distracting one of zhem and killing zhem!"

"Ve need to take care of zhe vampire first zhen, _ja_?" The RED Medic peeked out of the shed.

The zombie didn't move.

The RED continued eyeing the point, making sure to look all around it as well. He pulled his head back inside a second later. "Ugh, zhe vampire probably turned back into a bat so ve von't be able to locate him! Something zat small vill be too hard to spot!"

"So zhe only vay to lure zhe vampire out is to actually attack zhe point and zombie?" Medic sighed. "Zey certainly aren't going to make zhis easy."

"I haf to a-"

"Medic!" The voice didn't belong to a Heavy, but Sniper. More than likely coming back from respawn, Sniper ran up to the Medics, ducking inside the shed. "How's it goin' fer you two?"

"Terrible," the RED Medic spat at the other BLU.

"He could not haf said it better," Medic agreed grimly. "Zhe vampire is nearby. Every time ve try to attack zhe zombie, he comes out of hiding to attack zhe Heavies!"

Sniper made a face. "Sounds like you lot have a bit of a problem," he said. "Why don't you docs try goin' on the offensive then?"

"Vhat?"

"Ya know," Sniper shrugged. "Stop over-healin' the Heavies. Use yer Bonesaws an' all. They'd prolly do more damage to the zombie than the Heavies' punches. Heavy throws a punch at the zombie bloke, zombie can just get back up and throw two more back. But if you Medics cut off his arms or somethin', he ain't got any more limbs ta attack with."

"Zat not a bad idea," Medic mused.

"And vhile ve are taking care of zhe zombie," the RED Medic thought out loud. "Zhe Heavies can take care of zhe vampire! Oh, your Sniper is smarter zhan he looks!"

"I know, right?"

Sniper frowned. After giving an annoyed sigh, he asked, "By the way, wot happened to the Soldiers? Didn't see 'em went I got outta respawn. Thought they were takin' on the werewolf."

"Zey are," the RED Medic said.

"Well then where the bloody hell are-"

Sniper got his answer when the werewolf suddenly jumped down from the roof of the shed the three mercenaries were standing in. The monster wasn't alone. It had Soldier on its back. Soldier was holding onto the werewolf with… his spine? He had literally pulled his spine _out_ of his back, had it in front of the werewolf's neck, and was holding onto the ends of it, almost like it was a bridle or something. He was shouting with joy, while the werewolf was snarling and bucking like a bull. It ran in the direction of the second control point. The RED Soldier suddenly appeared from nowhere, chasing the after the two with his own spine in hand. He was thrashing it around like a whip. The three disappeared around a corner.

The Sniper and two Medics stared after them, amazed and a bit disturbed at the same time. After a moment of silence, Sniper finally asked, "How was the RED Soldier able ta run with his spine bones _out_ of his skin an' all?"

"I haf no idea," Medic was still gaping. "And I'm not sure if I even _want_ to know."

"As long as zey keep zhe werewolf busy," the RED Medic shrugged with indifference.

"Still, I-" Sniper cut himself off when he realized something. "Ah, bugger! Bloody wankas are headin' fer the second control point! As if there isn't enough goin' on over there!"

He made to run after the three, but stopped when Medic asked, "Vhat do you mean by zat?"

"The Scouts, Spies, Pyros, and RED Engineer smashed the jack 'o' lantern in the manor," Sniper explained. "Problem is now that now all of the monsters those blokes were fightin' are now hangin' 'round the second control point! Gettin' that bloody pumpkin ain't gonna be easy!" With that, he turned around to run back to the second control point.

"At least zey managed to smash zhe pumpkin," the RED Medic grumbled as he watched the Aussie leave.

"Ve'll explain vhat ve're going to do once zhe Heavies get here," Medic said.

The Heavies came back from respawn shortly. Now that both the Heavies found the Medics again, the RED Medic started to explain their plan. "You two vill go after zhe zombie, like you haf been. Ve vill hang back, using our Medi Guns on you two. But vhen zhe vampire appears, I vant you both to turn on him and attack him. Ve," the RED pointed to himself and Medic. "Vill zhen take care of zhe zombie."

"Both doktors are sure they can handle zombie?" The RED Heavy asked, eyebrow raised.

"Please," Medic fingered his Bonesaw. "Ve decapitate things all zhe time!"

The Heavies glanced at one another before nodding.

Now with their plan of action, the four mercenaries charged out of the shed they had been taking shelter in. The zombie slowly glanced towards them as they approached. It took a step towards the approaching mercenaries. The Heavies, both shouting battle cries, began throwing punches at the zombie as soon as they were close enough. The zombie took the punches with ease. It barely stumbled back as the Heavies pummeled him. Giving a low groan, the zombie started to throw some punches back. The two Medics hung back, Medi Guns trained on their Heavy. Despite the brawl just starting, the RED Medic caught sight of something near the battling Heavies and monster.

"Look," the RED elbowed Medic in the side and pointed above the three brawlers. "Up zhere!"

Medic glanced up. Sure enough, a couple of feet above the zombie, a small bat hovered. It had to be the vampire. "Heavy," Medic then called to his fellow BLU. "Zhe vampire is here!"

At the BLU's warning, both the Heavies glanced up. As soon as they did, a black mist swirled around the bat. It expanded and seconds later the vampire dropped from the sky, landing next to his zombie friend. It gave a hiss, reveling sharp pointy teeth. Then, much faster than the zombie moved, the vampire lunged forward to swipe at Heavy. It got him in the jaw and the BLU stumbled back. Then it swiped at the RED Heavy. But the RED was ready. The RED Heavy caught the vampire's arm just before it hit him. The RED then tossed the monster away from the control point. The two Heavies then went after the downed vampire, turning their backs on the zombie, who seemed stupefied at being sidestepped. It took a step towards the Heavies, but was intercepted by the Medics. They both had their Bonesaws out. The three stared each other down.

"How should ve go about doing zhis?" Medic asked, eyeing the zombie.

"I vas thinking something along zhe lines of you cutting off his left arm and I vill get zhe right," the RED Medic replied, grinning. "Sound fair?"

"I _vas_ talking about something more tactical," Medic frowned at the other at first, but after a moment, grinned back. "But I like your idea as vell! Let's do it!"

"Vonderful!"

The two Medics lunged. The zombie, too slow to dodge, could only grunt as two Bonesaws plunged into his flesh, one in his left arm and the other on his right. It cut into the monster's flesh, yes, but wasn't able to cut clean through. The Medics tore their Bonesaws out of the monster's hide, disappointed they didn't have enough strength to cut cleanly. They jumped back as the monster suddenly swiped at them. After dodging that, the RED Medic went back in and swiped with his Bonesaw. The zombie's right arm fell to the ground. Before the RED could let out a triumphant shout of "Yes!" or anything of the sort, the zombie roared in pain and swung at the RED Medic with his right arm.

The zombie's right fist connected painfully into the RED's stomach, and sent him flying back into Medic. The two Germans fell to the ground in a pained heap. Before either could stand back up, the zombie reached forward and snatched the RED Medic by the neck. The RED, who had dropped his Bonesaw in surprise, could only claw at the zombie's hand in a vain attempt to get the monster to let go. It wasn't much use. The zombie continued choking the RED. The monster only lessened its hold on the RED Medic when it felt something sawing into its left leg. Groaning in pain, the zombie looked down to see Medic quickly sawing through his shin. And before the monster could do anything else, Medic sliced through his leg. The zombie, now unbalanced, fell backwards.

The RED Medic scrambled up and away from the zombie, gasping. He took a few seconds to get some more air into his lungs before glancing over to the other. "You… you…"

"Just saved you?" Medic grinned. "Vhy, yes, I did," Before the RED could say anything else, Medic tossed him his Bonesaw. "You really need to sharpen your Bonesaw. It's not _nearly_ as sharp as it could be."

"Vell, _excuse _me-"

"Ack!" Medic interrupted the other with a yell. He pointed to the zombie, who was trying to stand back up with only one-and-a-half leg left. "Don't let him back up!"

The two Medics, Bonesaws in hand, then descended up the downed zombie and proceeded to chop him into tiny pieces.

The Heavies, both of which were only a few feet away, glanced over at the Medics. The RED Heavy, who was holding the vampire, simply said, "Medics are doing much damage on zombie."

Heavy, who was punching the vampire in the gut as the RED held him, looked over and said, "Should we stop them, maybe? Zombie looks to be ded."

"_Nyet_," the RED Heavy said. "Let them have their fun."

Heavy shrugged and resumed punching the vampire in the gut.

The Medics, after a few gleeful moments of chopping and decapitating, stood back to admire their work. A fleshy mess that used to be a zombie lay before them. "Vell," the RED Medic grinned down at the mess and then to Medic. "Zat vas fun."

Medic couldn't help but nod in agreement. "I really need to start hurting more zhan I heal," he added. "Or maybe just decapitate things more often."

A whistle came from behind them. Both the Medics turned around to see Spy standing on the first control point. "I see you all are 'andling things well 'ere," he said, raising his eyebrows at the mess the Medics stood over.

"Vhen did you get here?" Medic asked.

"Oh, a few minutes ago," the BLU held the jack 'o' lantern in his tentacles. "I just came out of respawn. I noticed you were distracting those monsters and, well, decided to pop in unannounced and take care of this." The tentacles constricted the pumpkin and it crumbled into a gooey mess resembling that of the zombie. "Zhat leaves one jack 'o' lantern."

"It's at zhe second control point, _ja_?" The RED Medic waited for no reply. "Let's go over zhere now." He turned around to face the Heavies. "Heavy," he called to his teammate. "Are you two done vith zhe vampire yet?"

The Heavies approached the two Medics and Spy. "Ha!" the RED Heavy laughed in reply. "What vampire? You mean this vampire?" The RED held up a small, limp, and surely knocked out (maybe even dead) bat. "Is taken care of now." The RED threw the bat to the ground, where it landed amongst the flesh mess.

"Good," the RED Medic nodded. "Zhen to zhe second control point ve go."

The Heavies, Medics, and Spy all made their way to the control point. It was a tad bit chaotic there. The five mercenaries had to stare for a few seconds to take in the action. The Horseless Headless Horsemann was taking off anyone's head if they came too close to the control point while also trying to swat both the Scouts out of the sky. The mummy was wrestling with the two Demomen. Soldier was facing the werewolf alone at the moment, but the RED Soldier could be seen running out of the manor and headed in their direction. Pyro was still dealing with the scarecrow, but the RED Pyro was no where to be seen. Both the Engineers couldn't be found either, and only the RED Sniper could be seen at the moment as well.

"_Merde_," Spy's curse caused the Medics and Heavies to glance at him. "Does your Spy know _anything_ about cloaking?" He nodded to the RED Spy, who had suddenly appeared. The scarecrow, taking note of him, decided to chase after him, instead of dealing with Pyro. Pyro wasn't doing much to stop it from happening.

"Ugh," the RED Medic rolled his eyes. "Heavy, let's go help him."

The RED Heavy nodded and without a word the two REDs dashed off.

Medic and Heavy where about to follow, but a shrill whistle caused them to stop. Then they heard a, "Hey, fellas, over here!" Medic, Heavy, and Spy all turned to see Engineer in a shed next to the shed sheltering the second control point. He waved them over. The three BLUs ran over and crowded around the entrance of the shed, seeing as it wasn't that big anyway.

"Engineer, vhat are you doing in here?" Medic asked.

"Tryin' not ta die, mostly," Engineer shrugged. "But I'm also tryin' to come with some sort-a plan ta smash that jack 'o' lantern."

"Eet seems easy enough," Spy raised an eyebrow. "We outnumber zhe monsters much more now. 'as anyone tried going near zhe point yet?"

"Every time one of 'em does, the Horseless Headless Horsemann goes berserk and charges the point! Y'all would not believe how many times I've seen both the Scouts die already. And that witch," Engineer pointed to the sky, where the witch was surely flying about. "Also dive-bombs anyone who gets too close to the point."

"Zhe monsters won't make zhis easy," Medic sighed, remembering what Sniper had said earlier.

Engineer nodded. "Which is why I'm tryin' ta think of somethin'," he said.

"What about zhe idea you and zhe RED Engineer suggested from zhe start?" Spy asked.

"What?"

"You know," Spy crossed his arms. "Zhe one where someone distracts while us Spies cloak and smash zhe pumpkin? You two Engineers seemed very proud of yourselves for coming up with zhat idea."

"I dunno, Spah," Engineer frowned. "There's an awful lotta monsters out there now. The Horseless Headless Horsemann's barely set foot off that control point! How you Spahs gonna get passed him?"

"Easily," Spy smirked. "Because 'e won't be on zhe point once I get there. 'e will be distracted. By you all, just like you first suggested."

The other three BLUs glanced at one another, frowning.

"I guess…" Engineer muttered after a moment.

Spy nodded. "Then go and distract some of zhe monsters! Zhe sooner I smash zhe pumpkin, zhe sooner we will be normal again," he urged.

Engineer just sighed and nodded as he exited the shed.

As Medic and Heavy exited as well, Spy could hear Medic saying," Let's see if ve can distract zhe Horseless Headless Horsemann…"

Spy paused a moment before he left as well. He let out a long sigh. Then he snapped into action.

As soon as Spy exited the shed, he cloaked. Then, as quickly as his tentacles could carry him, he dashed towards the shed that sheltered the second control point. It wasn't easy. He could hear the witch laughing somewhere above him as he skirted around the mummy, who was strangling the Demomen, and the werewolf, who was still snarling at the Soldiers. Spy didn't actually head for the control point. The Horseless Headless Horsemann was still in there and wasn't budging from his spot atop the point. Hopefully, Heavy and Medic would be able to take care of that soon. But at the moment, all Spy could do was run to the other side of the shed, the side that faced the fenced-in graveyard. A perfect place for a Spy to hide while the rest of the mercenaries and monsters fought in front of the point.

Luckily for Spy, the RED Spy seemed to agree that this was a great place to take a breather as well. As soon as Spy de-cloaked and leaned against the side of the shed, the RED Spy materialized next to him, looking out of breath. "Where 'ave you been?" the RED demanded.

Spy glanced at the other with indifference. Ignoring the RED's question he said instead, "You 'ave some straw sticking out of your mask. Scarecrow get a few good punches in?"

The RED Spy glared daggers at his counterpart as he plucked the bits of straw away. "Well?"

"We need to climb on top of zhe shed," Spy said, peeking around the corner and at a ladder leaning against the shed. "We'll get a better view of everything. Come on." With out waiting to see if the RED was following, Spy cloaked and quickly scrambled up the ladder.

The RED Spy did indeed follow, not that surprised Spy at all. What kind of surpriseed Spy was the fact Sniper was up there and, well, _alive_. "Spoi?" The Aussie had been crouching at the other end of the building until he noticed the two Spies come up and de-cloak. Lowering his Huntsman, he asked, "Wot 'cha doin' up here?"

"Taking an inventory," Spy replied, peeking over the edge of the building.

The RED Spy did the same.

"Soldiers are still fighting zhe werewolf," Spy noted. "They 'ave moved to zhe front door of zhe manor, 'owever."

"Demomen still with zhe mummy," the RED Spy said. "I can't see either of the 'eavies or Medics. Engineers are 'elping zhe Pyros with zhe scarecrow as well."

"Scouts in zhe air, playing tag with zhe witch…"

"And both zhe Snipers are sniping. At least I think zhey are," the RED Spy cast his cold gaze to the Aussie. "I 'ave yet to see either of you actually 'it any of zhe monsters."

"Hey!"

"Well zhen 'ere is a chance for Sniper to redeem 'imself," Spy said, turning to his teammate. "Sniper, get zhe Scouts' attention. We need to speak with them."

Sniper gave one last evil eye to the RED Spy before readying his Huntsman. Once catching sight of one of the Scouts, he loosed an arrow into the air.

Scout, hovering quite a number of feet away from the shed, blinked in surprise when as arrow suddenly flew so close to him. He glanced in the direction it came from. He caught sight of Sniper on the shed's roof, waving at him. Strange thing was that Scout could see both the Spies up there too. Face full of confusion, he harshly nudged the RED Scout and motioned towards the building. The two flew over to the shed's roof. "What d'ya want?" Scout asked as soon as he was over there.

"I need you to actually distract one of zhe monsters!" Spy said.

"The witch started goin' after us," the RED Scout piped up. "Doesn't that count?"

"Forget about zhe witch," Spy snapped. "You two need to distract zhe 'orseless 'eadless 'orsemann so we Spies can sneak in to smash zhe jack 'o' lantern, like planned."

"But we've already tried!" Scout complained. "The Horseless guy jus' won't get far away from the point fer one of us ta smash the pumpkin."

"Zhat is why we'll be sneaking in, not being obvious idiots and _flying_ straight towards it," Spy rolled his eyes. "Besides, you will 'ave some 'elp."

"We will?"

"Of course," Spy smirked. "Sniper will 'elp you distract zhe 'orseless 'eadless 'orsemann."

"Wait, wot-" Before Sniper could get much else out, Spy pushed him off the roof of the shed. Just pushed him. Just like that. Sniper landed on the ground with a pained grunt.

"Ooohhh," Both Scouts cringed as they fluttered down next to the fallen BLU.

"Dat had ta hurt," the RED Scout grinned.

"Bloody Spies," was all Sniper said as he shakily stood up. He craned his neck to look back up to the roof of the shed, where the two Spies were now looking down on them.

"We're counting on you!" The RED Spy sneered before the two Spies cloaked and disappeared.

Sniper practically growled in fury, but other than that, there wasn't much else he could do. "Alright, fine," he fingered his Huntsman. "Wot do we do now?"

"Now?" The RED Scout was still grinning. "Now is the part where BLU fairy boy here batter's up-" As the RED Scout said this, Scout hit his baseball with his Sandman. "-hits da Horseless guy in da head-" The baseball connected with the Horseless Headless Horsemann's head. "-and then we fly away ta safety." As soon as the RED Scout said that last part, both Scouts flew a few more feet higher into the air. Why? Because the Horseless Headless Horsemann was looking right at them. Or more specifically, Sniper. Because both Scouts had flew out of sight and the only person he currently saw was Sniper.

Sniper gave a yell as the Horseless Headless Horsemann charged towards him, obviously not liking how close to the point he was (and, well, for the whole baseball thing). The BLU started loosing arrows, but they didn't phase the monster too much. They hit him, all right. It just didn't seem to affect him or bother him. So Sniper decided to try something else. He lifted his hand and willed some sparks to fly from his fingertips. A flurry of electricity did and zapped the Horseless Headless Horsemann. It had more of an affect, but still didn't stop the monster. As the Horseless Headless Horsemann stumbled closer to Sniper still, the RED Scout suddenly flew next to the monster, bat raised.

"Batta swing!" The RED yelled as he swung his bat. It connected with the Horseless Headless Horsemann's head and caused his head to spin. Literally. As in a 360-turn.

The monster stopped running. "Ooohhh," the Horseless Headless Horsemann whined as he put on hand on his head. "That _really_ hurt!" And before the RED Scout could zip away, the monster reached out with his other hand and snatched him from the air.

"Shit!" The RED shrieked.

The Horseless Headless Horsemann slowly twisted his head back so it was facing the normal way once more. "You really shouldn't have done that," he said as he glared at the RED Scout. The monster then suddenly turned around to find Scout charging towards him, armed with his Sandman. Before Scout could get too close though, the Horseless Headless Horsemann threw the RED at Scout.

"Ahhh!" They collided in mid-aid and fell to the ground.

"Scout!" Sniper yelled, quickly readying another arrow. He loosed it and it hit the monster square in the back.

The Horseless Headless Horsemann just _tsked_ in response. "Finishing touch," he said as he walked over to the downed Scouts and picked them both up. He then turned around and threw them both at Sniper. The three collided in a heap of wings and arrows. The Horseless Headless Horsemann picked up his axe, which he had set down a little while ago to deal with the RED Scout, and raised it above his head. "Let's see if I can get all three of your heads off in one swing!"

But the Horseless Headless Horsemann never found out if he could.

_Because the damn jack 'o' lantern got pulverized._

The Horseless Headless Horsemann turned to look at the second control point. Standing on it was the two Spies. And between them was the crushed remains of the last jack 'o' lantern of the game. Both Spies looked pretty damn proud of themselves.

All the other monsters and mercenaries stopped to gape as well. Then the mercenaries all started talking at once.

"We DID it!" Demoman's mouth hung open in shock.

"Yes," Soldier grinned as he slipped his spine bones back into his back. "And that is how you do it!"

"That's how it's done," Engineer grinned at the RED Engineer, who stood next to him with his hand on his hardhat and his mouth gaping.

"So Spies _can_ be credit to team," the RED Heavy laughed.

"Finally," the RED Medic sighed. "And here I thought ve vould be here all night!"

As both REDs and BLUs continued cheering and sighing with relief, the Horseless Headless Horsemann scowled. He glanced around at his monster friends, who all had similar frowns of disappointment. Nearly growling in frustration, he whipped his head back to the Sniper and two Scouts he was about to decapitate.

They nervously glanced between him and their teammates.

The Horseless Headless Horsemann rolled his eyes dramatically. Then, with a scream that rivaled a banshee, he brought his axe down.

Luckily for the three mercenaries, it connected with the ground and not their necks. It was just a few inches away from the RED Scout's head. They all sighed with relief.

"Alas," the Horseless Headless Horsemann grinned and released the handle of his axe. It was still stuck in the ground, however. "I'm a monster of my word."

"Good ta hear," Sniper quietly grumbled as he and the two Scouts scrambled up. The three ran over to their teammates.

"Geez," Scout said as he approached Spy. "Took ya long enough. We were about ta get our heads shopped off!"

"Perhaps, but your 'eads are still intact, yes?" Spy said as he strutted off the control point. He walked over to Sniper. "Ah, Sniper. It was _so_ nice of you to 'elp zhe Scouts like zhat. Really 'elped speed zhe process up."

"The next time," Sniper pointed to the Spy. "_You're_ in the battlements, _I'm_ pushin' _you_ off when a Heavy-Medic duo comes chargin' our base."

"Whatever you say, bushman," Spy grinned.

"Hey," Engineer came up to the three. "If pushin' Slim off a roof helped ta win the game, I gotta admit, I'm glad Spy did it."

"See? Engineer liked my plan of action."

"And here I thought we were friends, Truckie."

"Aw, Stretch, don't be so-"

"Yes, yes," the Horseless Headless Horsemann's booming voice drowned out the rest of Engineer's words. It drowned out everyone's words, in fact. "You all won the game. Congrat-u-my-lations," He said dully as he walked over to stand in front of the horde of gathering mercenaries.

The REDs and BLUs stared the monster down.

"Well?" Spy eventually spoke up. "We won your game. You 'ave to turn us back now."

"Oh, don't get your panties in a twist, I'm working on it," the Horseless Headless Horsemann said. "It _was_ fun, mercs. I do so hope we can do this again some time. But until then," the monster held up a hand and snapped his fingers. "Sweet dreams, mercs."

Then everything went black.

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A/N: I am so sorry. It was either have two short action-packed chapters or one ridiculously long action-packed chapter. As you can see I picked the latter. I hope this monster of a chapter didn't cause your brain to melt or anything.

Oh, and anyone who gets what "Get off the point, get off the point, get off the point!" is referencing to will be dubbed awesome.

Up Next: I forgot what I was going to put here…


	13. All is Hell That Ends Well

Pit-Trap: I do not own these characters, TF2, etc.

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Sniper lowered his rifle at the sound of a de-cloaking Spy, dread quickly gnawing at his insides. But after hearing a cry of pain behind him, the dreadful feeling disappeared. Rolling his eyes, Sniper turned around. On the ground right behind him was the dead body of the RED Spy. A foot or two away from the body was Sniper's teammate, Spy, who looked nonchalant as ever. Sniper raised an eyebrow. "Spook," he started.

"What?" Spy pulled out a cigarette and leaned against a nearby wall.

"Wot 'cha doin'?"

"Saving your ass."

"Not that," Sniper huffed. "Ya haven't left the base at all yet. It can't be productive if ya jus-"

"I 'ave stabbed zhe RED Spy three times in a row now. You call zhat not being productive?"

"Well, it's jus' ya haven't done much else inside the base 'side from killin' wotever RED creeps in."

"Your point?" Spy looked away.

"Go sap the RED Engineer's sentry, disguise as an enemy Pyro, somethin'!" After a small pause, Sniper sighed. "Wot I'm tryin' ta say, Spook, is that yer mopin'."

"I am not moping," Spy retorted. "I am just… thinking."

"Dare I ask wot about?"

Spy hesitated, but after a moment asked, "Are you absolutely positive you don't remember anything-"

"Not this again, Spook!" Sniper interrupted with a groan. "No, I bloody don't remember! There's nothin' ta remember! Yer thinkin' about it too hard! Hell, yer thinkin' about _nothin'_ too hard."

"Eet doesn't sit right, bushman, I'm telling you-"

This time, Sniper interrupted with a sigh. "Spoi, stop worryin' about it. If ya can't remember, that's that. Now, would ya get outta here before I bloody _push_ ya off the battlements?"

"Fine," Spy snapped, spitting his cigarette out. He crushed it beneath one of his shoes. "Just don't come griping to me when you get stabbed by zhe RED Spy." He turned and stalked away.

"We prolly jus' got drunk or somethin'!" Sniper yelled after him. When he got no reply, he just shook his head and rolled his eyes. He then returned to sniping.

Spy, however, didn't plan to start spying anytime soon. He was going to get to the bottom of this before anything else. It had been bothering him since this morning. And the problem was, none of his teammates had been helpful at all so far! The problem just didn't make any sense. Why couldn't he remember-

"Spah?"

A thick southern accented voice interrupted Spy's thoughts. He glanced to his left to see Engineer standing next to him. "What?"

"Ya been standin' there fer quite a while," Engineer noted. They both stood in front of the resupply room. "Somethin' on yer mind?"

The Engineer! Why didn't Spy think about asking him sooner? He'd be much more reasonable than Sniper. "Actually," Spy blinked. "I do. May I speak with you about eet?"

"Sure thing," Engineer nodded. He headed for the courtyard and Spy followed. "What's on yer mind?"

"Eet's what _isn't_ on my mind.'

"Pardon?"

"Allow me to further explain," Spy pulled a small pocket planner out from the inside of his suit jacket, opening to a specific page. He immediately started explaining as the two arrived in their courtyard, where Engineer had a sentry. "I 'ave it on my schedule zhat we moved from Mann Manor to Teufort on zhe 25th of October." He showed the small planner to Engineer.

"We did indeed," Engineer said, turning to finish up his sentry.

"Today is November 1st."

"Yes, I s'pose it is."

"Tell me, Engineer," Spy snapped the small book shut and returned it to his pocket. "Do you remember zhe week of October 25th through October 31st?"

"Well, sure," Engineer said as he started erecting a dispenser. "We were fightin' the REDs all week, like normal."

"Well, yes," Spy admitted, but frowned deeply. "But I was talking more about what you did _after_ ceasefire or during mornings before zhe fights."

"Eh," Engineer paused a moment, thinking. "Prolly nothin' special. Prepared fer the fights. Prolly fixed a few things 'round the base. Yelled at Soldier 'n' Scout maybe. Memories a bit foggy, actually. I don't recall any specifics."

"See?" Spy said. "Don't you think zhat's odd? You can't exactly recall what you during zhe week's ceasefires!"

"Must-a not got enough sleep. Or perhaps I slept funny," Engineer reasoned. "Might explain why mah neck hurts."

"But I can't remember anything before or after zhe ceasefires either. Neither can Sniper!" Spy urged. "I bet none of zhe others do either. Don't you think zhat's strange?"

"We must-a had a real tough week then," Engineer turned towards Spy, frowning at him. "Did you lose somethin', Spy? Forget to do somethin'? Is that why yer so worked up?"

"No," Spy sighed. "I just want to know why I can't remember zhe week of October 25th to October 31st. I know we 'ad to 'ave been fighting zhe REDs. But what else? Eet's all a blur!"

"Maybe ya should let Medic take a look at 'cha," Engineer suggested.

"I did before today's fight," Spy spat. "I'm perfectly fine physically. But my memories? Not so much. I will also say zhat Medic couldn't recall much about last week either."

Engineer rolled his eyes. He perked up when he saw Pyro approaching them. "Hey, Pyro!" He greeted the other.

"Mph!" Pyro greeted in reply, pausing to stand next to the Texan.

"Hey, Spah's havin' some memory troubles. You remember much about last week?"

"Nthhnn spfff," Pyro shook his head.

Spy sighed. "Well, I wouldn't 'ave asked you anyway," he spat. Before either of the other BLUs could react, Spy pulled out his knife, stepped around Pyro, and stabbed him in the back.

Pyro sank to the ground. Then the disguise melted away, revealing it to be the RED Spy and not Pyro at all.

"'e was a Spy, after all," Spy shrugged.

"Nice call," Engineer smiled at the other appreciatively. "I didn't even notice anything wrong."

"Eet was nothing," Spy shook his head. Abruptly, he started walking away. "I appreciate you listening, Engineer."

Engineer frowned. "No problem," he said, watching Spy leave the courtyard.

Spy skirted to the entrance of the BLU base, satisfied to find it momentarily empty. But he didn't leave the base. Not yet. Spy would go a different route. He would go through the sewers. Normally, he would avoid the sewers as much as possible, but as he found himself walking through them and to the RED base, he found he wasn't as disturbed as he normally was. Spy couldn't say why he was suddenly alright with it all of a sudden. It seemed so small compared to what was really on his mind. Spy couldn't recall anything about the 25th to the 31st of October. He knew he and his team had to have been fighting the REDs, but what else? What happened before and after those fights? Hell, what had happened during those fights? He could barely remember much of them, let alone any specifics! No matter how hard he tried, Spy couldn't remember. It was a foggy blur that when he tried to remember caused his head to throb.

As Spy arrived beneath the RED base, he caught sight of a fellow BLU. Scout was at the base of some stairs that led up to the RED base, reloading his gun. He hadn't noticed Spy yet, so he cloaked and crept up to the other. "Spy Check," Spy said and flicked Scout in the arm.

Scout jumped. "What the-"

Spy materialized into view. "_Bonjour,_" he grinned at the Scout.

"Jackass," Scout said in reply, rolling his eyes. "Finally decided ta leave the base, huh?"

"I 'ad a lot on my mind," Spy said defensively.

Scout snorted. "Oh, yeah? Like what?" He finished loading his gun and looked at Spy.

Spy paused. Scout definitely wouldn't be someone he would have taken this issue up with, but if he was willing to listen… So Spy basically told Scout everything he had told Engineer. He mentioned his pocket planner, the dates, and the memory-loss he and a few other teammates had. At the end of his explanation, Spy asked, "Do _you_ remember anything that 'appened other zhan fighting zhe REDs? Or what 'appened during zhe fights?"

Scout frowned, pausing to think. He… he couldn't recall much of what happened last week. No matter how hard he thought, he just couldn't. "Not really," he admitted after a moment.

"See?" Spy said. "You can't remember either."

"But there has ta be a reason why we can't remember much," Scout pointed out. "Maybe we all got really, really drunk."

"Drunk?"

"Yeah. So drunk we forgot about last week."

"Sniper said zhe same thing," Spy muttered before shaking his head. "But not likely. I know I do not drink without reason."

"Maybe we lost real bad," Scout tried. "Or maybe, ya know, ya jus' drank fer fun. Some people do that, ya know."

"Did you 'ave a 'angover zhis morning when you woke up?"

Scout frowned. "I dunno. I think I had a small headache this morning… Oh, and my back was sore fer some reason. Does that count as a hangover?"

"I don't think so," Spy smirked. "I 'aven't 'eard anyone else complaining about 'agnovers today either. Well, Demoman actually 'as."

"Half the time he's drunk and the other half he _has_ a hangover."

"Exactly."

"I dunno, Spy," Scout bit his lip. "Maybe yer jus' thinking about it too hard. Stop thinkin' about it fer a bit. Actually fight and do Spy stuff. Maybe it'll come back to ya later."

"Eet will be a thorn in my side until I do remember," Spy said without much conviction.

"Aw, c'mon," Scout nudged Spy. "The RED Engineer's got a sentry in their Intel room. Race ya there."

Spy stared at the other. After a moment, he sighed. Perhaps he should let the whole memory thing go. For now, anyway. He needed to focus on work. If he didn't stop thinking about it now, it would affect his skills on the field. "Alright," Spy said after a moment. "See you there." He quickly cloaked and started up the stairs that led to the RED base.

"Woo!" Scout shouted as he tore after the cloaked Spy.

Scout didn't see, let alone know, when or if he passed Spy, but at least he knew his teammate wouldn't be moping too much now. Problem was, Spy had gotten Scout to start thinking about last week too. As soon as Spy brought it up, Scout realized he couldn't remember anything either. It bugged him. He didn't particularly make it sound like it did, but now that he thought about it as he ran through the RED base, it did. But what could Scout do? If he couldn't remember, he couldn't remember. And right now wasn't the best time to think about it. He had just run into the RED courtyard, where the RED Demoman was unfortunately standing.

Once the RED noticed Scout, he readied his Scotsman's Skullcutter. "Oh," the RED Demoman grinned. "Does the wee, little pixie want to play?"

For some reason that sentence made Scout really angry.

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"They don't remember anything," Miss Pauling noted from behind the Administrator.

They were both staring at a screen that had multiple shots of the REDs and BLUs fighting. "Of course," the Administrator didn't move her gaze from the screen. "The Horseless Headless Horsemann made sure of that."

"You told him to wipe their memories as well as return them to normal?"

"Well, yes," the Administrator smirked. "We couldn't have them remember such an eventful week, now could we? I even had all the extra files the Medics and Spies tried to keep destroyed. And, well, anything else that might jog their memories."

"Still," Miss Pauling pushed her glasses up. "It would've mad a nice campfire story."

The Administrator just snorted in reply.

Miss Pauling glanced at the screen, watching shot of the BLU Spy creeping around the RED base. "The BLU Spy seems the most agitated about this. He seems to know something's not right. Are you sure he won't remember anything? At all?"

"Not anything."

Miss Pauling tore her eyes away from the screen and to the clipboard in her hand. "He'll be most unhappy for quite a while."

"That's his problem," the Administrator said. She swiveled her chair around to look at another screen, separate from the screen showing the REDs and BLUs. This screen showed an image of the Horseless Headless Horsemann at Mann Manor. All his monsters friends were there with him.

Miss Pauling glanced up to see what the Administrator was looking at. "Well," she supposed. "At least some of us are happy."

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A/N: Most European calendars start with Monday, not Sunday (like American ones do). So Spy, being European and all, starts his week on Mondays, meaning October 25th is a Monday. As clearly stated in this chapter, you can also tell that all that happened to the BLUs (and eventually REDs) really took place in only about a week.

And a bit bittersweet this ending is. But that's how I planned it.

I have to thank you all for the lovely reviews! I took forever with updating this story, so thanks to all who kept reading it! It's been fun. Thank you all again!


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